Don't treat me like a child. Don't treat me like I'm ten when the gap is smaller than you think and I'm not really younger. You have friends where the age gap is the same between them and you -- and do they patronize you like you do me? Do they act as though everything you do is something to be sneered at, to be looked down on?

Ever since you came home I've been finding myself grow more and more unsure and miserable. When I'm practising my instruments I don't have the confidence because I know that you might be listening, and you haven't heard me for three months so I want to make a good impression. And when I'm dancing ... well, I can't, can I? Because you're always telling me to 'stop hopping around' because I look stupid.

That is what I hate.

I hate the way I can't be who I want to be since it's not who you think I should be. I don't fit into your box. Yes, you lent me clothes. I'm grateful for that. You gave me others. Fine, thank you. But I wish your generosity would spread to compliments and nice words. I wish it would spread to accepting the fact that I'm never going to be 'normal'.

Why should I "tone down the weird" just because you've come home and you want me to be? Nine months of the year I'm fine just being myself ... why should I hide away? Face it -- dancing is what I want to do, and you're not going to change that. I'll practice in the kitchen if I want to. It is, after all, the only place I can practice. And my music taste -- that is up to me. Not up to you. You play yours at full volume and we put up with it, so why can't I?

Don't patronize me. Don't treat me like a child. Don't try to make other people look down on me. The worst bit is that you don't even realise you're doing it -- but it hurts. It hurts so much.

The End

4 comments about this work Feed