Yeah, when I was young, I used to....

Yeah, when I was young, I used to....

think that the dishwasher was the same thing as a washing machine.

eat grass because I thought that eating beef turned me into a cow and cows eat grass. Something like that happened with chicken and lamb too.

suck in my gut so that my rib cages would stick out and claim that I had really big saggy boobs.

hate playing piano because I was completely determined to break that Asian stereotype. To the point where I would purposefully play was song badly so the teacher would yell at me and I would get upset, thus inducing more hatred. I think I was a little devious back then.

rather pee in my pants than go inside and do my homework. Yeah, that was how much I hated homework.

be a righty. Until I broke my arm.

want short hair. And then when I finally got my haircut, I looked so ugly I cried myself to sleep for the next month and a half.

want to learn kung fu because those fancy flying moves were so cool.

draw demonic pictures of little stick figures being electrocuted with my brother. I would draw and he would narrate the drawing. We were two little torture machines.

stick decapitated Barbie stickers on the wall.

run a Barbie salon called the “Balding Salon” in which the prized haircut was the “needles in the holes on Barbies heads” haircut.

think that cooties were a type of lice that changed girls into guys and that all of the guys were once girls and that if I touched a guy I would get cooties and turn into a guy and that all guys had to be killed in order to get rid of this disease.

believe that the teletubbies were real because only real people had stickers made after them and we had teletubby stickers.

watch that beginning of some horror movie about a mirror over and over again because we would never have the time to watch the rest and everyone was too lazy to skip over the beginning. There was blood somewhere. I didn’t understand much else. I think a dog got killed.

cried at a movie because everyone else (adults) was even though I had no idea what was going on. They all stopped and laughed at me.

wash my toothpaste tube and accidentally wash all of the toothpaste out.

think that battleship was the best game ever.

hate scrabble.

The End

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