Warning, this is Mature and will be probably disturbing. Most of this will be fictionised real life troubles. And I had a lot of issues.
This will contain
-Paganism and Spirituality
-Just overall weirdnessRatings dissabled. This is a self therapy and self analysis. It's not about telling a story but about letting what drags your heart down out.
-----Who am I-----
For those who don't know, I'm called Cédric B.Blanchette. Most people know me as Nerathul as it's the ID i've used for years just about everywhere.
I have issues I'm not afraid to admit it. I'll talk about it below. So let me begin...
I've always had problem talking about myself.
Since I was young, I was quite eloquent, I loved drama classes.I could be center man on a play infront of the whole school and be cool as ice. But when ever it come to speaking about myself or worse my feelings, words fail me. I usually end up crying and babbling.
Maybe I just didn't grow up to stop playing make believe but the one thing that I alway enjoyed was fiction. Kids were struggling to read basic children novels and I was already reading thick bricks.
Another of my passion is Roleplaying. Either in an online game or the old school pen and paper way. One thing that I do and very few people notice is that basically, all my characters are self-insertion. They represent part of me that conflicts and play. This also goes for written stories.
Writting for me is more than just writting words to make an entertaining story. To me, it's putting my essence and soul onto paper. To be honest, I've always had a hard time letting people critic my stories, it often feels like a punch to the gut...
-----What is this all about-----
This post will be somewhat simple. Me discussing my issues by externalising them. Wrapping them in fiction so I can try to let it all out without crumbling and crying.
Special thanks to CatMonty for the idea (Which I got by reading a detached recollection) altough I can't write poetry, I can write fiction.
I'll warn you this, maybe disturbing, sick and insane. I'm not the most sane person on the earth by a loooooonnnngggg strech.
A few things you should know
-I have some mild paranoid and sociopathic issues
-I'm Bisexual and proud of it.
-I'm Pagan, mostly focusing on the philosophy of shamanism altough I tend to avoid NeoPagans and NeoShaman. I'm not a new ager, I'm an occultist on a spiritual path. I don't seek power or gain other than what I need or what other need. I preffer to live simply free of material obsession.