Did you ever wanted to believe in something so much, that you started to believe your own lies? But then, one day, all the truth comes at you with the force that you cannot defend yourself anymore. The brutal truth surrounds you and the only thing you can do is to give up and accept the reality.
No more hiding, the walls of blindness are shattered and you begin to see things how they really are. You fall on your knees, the demons that you were afraid to let out are free now and there is nothing you can do about that, only try to deal with them.
I did experience that not so long ago. I wanted desperately to believe that everything was going alright with the person I cared about the most. Yesterday, I realised that nothing is actually right, but during few weeks I got myself convinced otherwise. Pretty fascinating how you can hold the truth away from yourself.
But it is not a good thing to do so.
The truth sooner or later will give you a slap in the face and the longer you will not allowed that to happen, the more cruel the slap will be. Don't try to deny the facts and the truth, just try to accept it otherwise the truth will attack you when you are at your weakest. Try to stand with your head up and sort it as soon as it appears.
Lying to yourself will not help, it will just make the things worse.