Reading list of accomplished things and all in between.
And there is a feeling attached to it called despair. I read the title and it mocks me.I can tell you were i life,but i have no idea where my home is...
In this week that i see myself go lower and lower in the path that leads only in death, i don`t falter or take a step back.I have reached the point where i accept nothing going back on myself .
Have i told you about the agreement i have made with myself ?
No ?!! Well, it is a minor detail.That states if i don`t find a reson to keep on i terminate my existence in life.
Like i said minor stuff.It shall not worry too many, trust me on that.
I now if Sharon reads this lines she shall be worried, i advice her to keep reading and don`t cry, please.
I can`t keep on living for others, that is not how it works, i learned that lesson very early in life.
The truth is i am tired.
In a nutshell,that is the reason...
I also see all i have done so far and all i have met and still continue to meet in my personal path.There are people i shall miss, i would be lying if i said i won`t miss my sons or Sharon or my best friends, i will.This path i walk on now, i do it alone by choice, i need to find a reason alone, for those who love me, and understand me, let me be.
If i am meant to be here, let me find myself, please.
I thank God everyday for allowing me to find you all, and i praise Him for giving me you all.So to all of you, if you don`t know who you are read the following.
Sharon...My mother by choice, by heart, you are God greatest gift in a very miserable life, you are light were i walked in darknes, you are shelter when i need comfort, you are love.I love , my blessed woman, Mum.
Maggie,my best friend she knows all, she heard all , she feels my soorow, my hurt, she cries with me,she laughs with me, she knows my sons, mica loves her because i do, she grew in my heart, not under, she is the best part of myself.
Anne,the perrson that put me writing her in the first place, she will battle for me, she gets angry on my behalf and she laughts at me perils in personal life, she is reason and soul,she his my center.
Micael...My beloved, you allowed me to be me and through you i see life in a new light, my heart is learning so much because of you.
Lucas..My beloved,you are so much passion, so much life, you have teach me to laugh, you are so precious, your smile makes me feel so big.
My friend, that i am learning to know. Kevin..You are so big in life and in words , in you i find i can be me in a very naughty way, you made me feel like a woman for the first time in a long time.It sounds a bit too personal, but only you will fully understand it.
So i guess, i answer my own question, my home is in two places...