I have strong believes in life , how can i not whit evrything it has happen so far. Today i listen to Jodi mitchell in " A case of you", and i remenber.
My father was the only man appart from two other men , i trully loved in all the word means. He was far from perfect has a dad or as a human being , but i saw him in a light of who he was not what he had done or was doing, his actions did make me judge sometimes but as a hole , he was my father and i loved him.
I still do, he has died 12 years ago and i still talk to him, every day in my toughts. Just because he isnt present i have not stop loving him or resent the fact he could have turn to be a more present figure has a father or a better one for that matter. I believe he tried his best, has he could, did i ever told you my father could not read? Or write and yet his greatest joy was when i would sit and read to him, talk to him about what i had learn at school, he crave knowlledge, he crave learning , and i know he new my brothers and sisters felt ashamed of him. I never did he was my father, he was a carpenter by trade and he work so hard so his children could be so much more than him, how could i feel ashamed of that ?
Later own in life when he turn 50 he started to go to evening classes to learn to read and write his own name, i remenber how proud he was when he wrote his name for the first time. I think i never saw my father happier than that day ! He died at the age of 60, short of early retirement ( he had only 6 months into it), when he fell hill, he colapsed at home on christmas eve, a blood clough on his brain. After surgery that night they discovered the true ilness, cancer. He spend ten more months among us, his three last in coma, he was no longer the man i new, the disease robbed me of that has well . I believe that wherever my father resides this days ( i hope in heaven), he his finally happy...
I also know that one day i will go to university and do psichology , not strait away , my sons education come first as well as paying bills, but one day i will. And know i will do it because of my father , for my father because i know he wanted me to be all that i can be and because i want to give this to him. For you dad , i love you.
Your loving daughther,