Words of Despair

There was a time, not long ago, when I saw the world as mine for the taking. A fire once blazed within me, fueling my heart and mind with visions of greatness, with dreams of success. Such was my naiveté, to think for a moment that the walls before me could be breached, that the chains binding me could be shattered, and that the fire within me would blaze forever.

Yet today, I wither. I stare into oblivion with the blank gaze of a corpse. The fire is no more. The visions and dreams are no more. There is only emptiness where once resided a soul. The will to live - not merely to be alive - has departed from me without saying goodbye, and without telling me if it will ever return. Thus each day seems to be a battle in a war that is already lost; a battle where I may not be struck, but where I always fire aimlessly, as if under a substance's influence, caring little whether I will hit friend or foe. I then contemplate those times when I still had a small degree of faith: a shallow past filled with petty victories and small sacrifices that in the end amount to nothing. Is there any hope for such thing - a decaying husk of what could be a man?

They say the only limits to a person are those she puts on herself, but that is only a half-truth. I can feel the shackles of others on my wrists and ankles, and their chains around my neck; some are almost unnoticeable, while others weigh tons. They follow my every move, and restrain me when I appear to be slipping out of their control. Fighting those shackles only makes them tighter; freedom feels ethereal, for I cannot grasp it when I try to.

What am I to do? Faith has vanished; hope has left no trail. In the hollow darkness I remain, paralyzed by its immensity. It smothers me despite its amplitude and damps my cries for help. It consumes my essence with its silence, for all I hear is the bitter echo of my voice. It drives me mad, and yet it keeps me in absoluted stillness.

Will the fire ever light up again? Will it ever melt my fetters and guide me out of this void? No and no. I shall fade away quietly and be forgotten; for I am all that I have done, and I have done nothing at all.

The End

0 comments about this work Feed