Movie Length

Opening Montage:

Voice Over:[Pictures of the cast either laughing or frowning] A lot has happened in last night’s episode. But who will uncover that dastardly secret: what an animagus is.

Scene 1:

[In the Shrieking Shack. Snape is looking at Lupin and Sirius, who are currently embracing each other whilst staring at Harry and the gang, who are staring aghast at Snape.]

Ron:(s) What’s an animagus?

Sirius:(s) I am.

Ron:Right.

Snape:Now, I am at the stage in which I am about to proceed upon in which I am about to ready myself to prepare myself to be ready to uphand a culprit whose name I am yet to mention but rest assured when I mention it will be-

Lupin:Petrificus Totalus!

[Snape falls over.]

Sirius:Still got the (s) reflexes of youth, I see.

Lupin:(spins to Sirius and whispers) … always.

Ron:I still don’t… understand.

Hermione:(s) What’s not to understand, Ron? Sirius Black is Harry’s godfather and a dog, Lupin is a werewolf, and your rat is actually Peter Pettigrew.

Ron:… right.

Harry:Sirius, (s) aren’t you going to kill Peter now?

Sirius:(s) Good point, Harry!

[Harry blushes.]

Sirius:Lupin, grab that (s) rat!

[Lupin grabs the rat.]

Sirius:(puts wand to the rat’s chest.) Prepare to die, Pete…

Harry:(s) NO!

Sirius:(drops wand) WHAT?

Harry:(turns away to hide his tears of emotion) My father would’ve wanted (spins back) me to do it.

Lupin:I don’t think…

Sirius:(s) I feel like a moonlit stroll.

Harry:Me too.

Hermione:I second that.

Ron:(shrugs) I’m going to lose my leg anyway.

Lupin:(Pauses.) As long as I get to go first.

[Dramatic music.]

Scene 2:

[Draco and the gang are sitting in a classroom, with the rest of the Slytherin students.]

Crabbe:Where’s Professor Lupin?

Goyle:Where’s Professor Snape?

Draco:(s) Why are we here at night?

Scene 3:

[Lupin, Sirius, Snape, Peter Pettigrew, Harry and the gang are taking a moonlit stroll.]

Harry:(s) What a good idea, Sirius.

Sirius:Why, thank you Harry. I- (s) Peter, you’re a man!.

Peter:And now I’m gone!

[Peter runs off, laughing.]

Ron:Snape, (s) you’re conscious!

Snape:And now you’re all under arrest!

Hermione:Lupin, (s) you’re transforming!

Lupin:(howls) AROOOOOO!

Sirius:Not again, man.

Snape:(s) The children!

Lupin:JE DETESTE LES INFANTS!

Ron:What’s he (s) doing?

Hermione:He’s speaking (s) werewolf.

Lupin:JE SUIS UN PHANTOM.

Hermione (off-screen):MOI AUSSI!

Lupin:Pardon?

Hermione (off-screen):MOI AUSSI!

Lupin:JE VAIS!

[Lupin gallops off.]

Sirius:(clutching chest) My heart!

[Sirius runs off.]

Snape:(s) Finally, I-

Ron:Avada Kedavra!

[Ron’s spell misses Snape, hits a tree and a branch falls off and hits Snape, who is knocked out.]

Hermione:(s) Good one!

Harry:[Grabs Hermione’s hand] Come on, Hermione, we’ve got to save Sirius!

Ron:What about (s) me?

Harry:Can it, invalid.

[Harry flicks his wand and Ron collapses to the ground.]

Harry:(s) Let’s go save Sirius.

[Dramatic music]

Scene 4:

[Draco and the gang are sitting around, twiddling their thumbs.]

Crabbe:So… what do you want to do?

Goyle:Dunno.

Draco:Let’s play (s) Scrabble.

Crabbe and Goyle:(together) … okay.

Scene 5:

[Harry and Hermione are almost upon Sirius, who is kneeling in front of a lake.]

Harry:(rushes up) Sirius, are you (s) okay?

Sirius:They’re (s) coming.

Harry:Who, (s) WHO?

[Sirius faints]

Harry:What’s going on? (s) What’s happening? Sirius? SIRIUS?

Hermione:Harry…

Harry:(spins to face Hermione) What?

[Hermione raises a trembling arm. She points to about thirty goffs all lined up.]

Hermione:(raises arm to forehead) I can’t.

[Hermione faints.]

Harry:Expecto- expecto…

[Harry falls to his knees.]

Harry:Too… many.

Dementors:(altogether) oh ahi der vampiuyre yu lok qruit sexcty

Harry:Good… bye… cruel… world…

Harry (off-screen):EXPECTO PATRONUM!

Harry:Wait… to…. Go… Dad…

[Harry faints. Dramatic music.]

Scene 6:

[Draco and the gang are playing Scrabble.]

Draco:1, 2, 4- that’s sixteen for me.

[Pansy bursts in.]

Crabbe:(s) You okay?

Pansy:They’re caught him! They’ve caught (s) Sirius Black!

Goyle:(s) What?

Pansy:Yeah, he’s just got out of the hospital wing. And guess who else is in there? That Granger kid and Potter, as well as-

Draco:(s) NO!

[Draco sprints out of the room. Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy all exchange glances, shrug and run after him.]

Scene 7:

[Harry and Hermione are in the hospital wing. Dumbledore is talking with them. Ron is on the bed, unconscious.]

Dumbledore:You know what you have to (s) do, Miss Granger. Or would you like me to (hand movement) interpretive dance it out for you?

Hermione:(seriously) That won’t be necessary.

Harry:Maybe some (s) other time, Professor.

Dumbledore:I would (s) like that. It is 12:03, and I am locking the doors at (s) 12:04.

[Dumbldore walks out and shuts the doors.]

Harry:Well, I understood none of that.

Hermione:(s) Shut up and wear this necklace with me.

Harry:Oh, it’s not really my colour.

Hermione:(rolls eyes and puts the Time-Turner around the both of them.) Hush. You see, I can (ULTIMATE SWIVEL) travel in time.

Harry:Where’s your big blue box then?

Hermione:(fiddling with the Time Turner) What did you say?

Harry:Never mind.

Hermione:And… (turns Time Turner) we’re (s) back in time.

Harry:Why is everything (s) black and white?

[For indeed it is.]

Hermione:(s) Because it’s the past! Now let’s go save Ron- I mean Sirius!

Harry:(s) Right then!

[They rush off to Hagrid’s Hut and hide behind it.]

Harry:Hey, Hermione, you know what would be really funny?

Hermione:(distracted) No, what?

Harry:If we (giggles) steal Buckbeak!

Hermione:(s) What?

Harry:Come on!

[They steal Buckbeak.]

Hermione:That was (s) easy.

Harry:Told ya.

Hermione:Here comes Fudge and Dumbledore… (s) Why aren’t we leaving?

Harry:(s) Because you told us to.

Hermione:Huh? Oh, right. (shouts) GET OUT OF THERE, YOU NITWITS.

[Past Harry, Hermione and Ron troop out of Hagrid’s Hut.]

Harry:What do we do (s) now?

Hermione:Now, we (s) wait.

[Dramatic music]

Scene 8:

[Draco and the gang are sitting in a classroom, with the rest of the Slytherin students.]

Crabbe:Where’s Professor Lupin?

Goyle:Where’s Professor Snape?

Draco:(s) Why are we here at night? Woah, déjà vu.

Crabbe:(s) Me too.

Goyle:Weird…

Scene 9:

[Harry and Hermione are sitting together, playing tic-tac-toe. Buckbeak is being Buckbeak.]

Hermione:(s) I win again!

Harry:(throws paper on the ground) I don’t want to play anymore. (He pouts and crosses his arms.)

Lupin (off-screen):AROOOOO!

Harry:(s) What was that?

Hermione:Crap.

Lupin (off-screen):JE DETESTE LES INFANTS!

Hermione:(to herself) Hang on… (shouts) MOI AUSSI!

Lupin (off-screen):Pardon?

Hermione:(shouts) MOI AUSSI!

Harry:(hits Hermione over the head) You idiot! Now he’s (s) coming this way.

Hermione:… right.

[Harry, Hermione and Buckbeak start running away.]

Harry:WAIT! (s) Why aren’t we riding Buckbeak?

Hermione:Yeah, Lupin’ll probably catch us on foot.

[They climb upon Buckbeak and ride away, landing just beside the lake where Sirius, Harry and Hermione are being attacked by Dementors. They hide behind ]

Harry:Yes! Hermione, (s) I get to see my dead dad!

Hermione:What are you (s) talking about?

Harry:No, wait (s) I am my dad.

Hermione:(s) WHAT?

Harry:(steps out of the bushes)EXPECTO PATRONUM!

[All the Dementor’s burst into flames. The flames take the form of a stag.]

Dementors:(in unison) STOPS FLAIMG MEII UE R ALL PREPZ MIIFS SAT IN

[They all disappear.]

Harry:(falls to his knees) VICTORY IS ASSURED!

Hermione:Harry… Sirius.

Harry:… right.

[They hop back on Buckbeak and fly away. Dramatic music.]

Scene 10:

[Draco and the gang are sitting around, twiddling their thumbs.]

Crabbe:So… what do you want to do?

Goyle:Dunno.

Draco:Let’s play (s) Scrabble.

Crabbe and Goyle:(together) … okay.

Draco:(s) HOW DID I KNOW THAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT?

[Dramatic music.]

Scene 11:

[Harry, Hermione and Buckbeak are freeing Sirius.]

Sirius:… and remember, always wash behind your ears.

Harry:(s) … always.

Sirius:(welling up with tears) You have so much of your mother in you, Harry.

Harry:(tears rolling down his face) I love you.

Sirius:(s) I lo-

Hermione:(s) I hear voices! Quickly, Sirius!

[Sirius hops onto Buckbeak and soars into the sky. Harry stares at their retreating figures with misty eyes.]

Hermione:(tugs on Harry’s arm) Comeon, Harry.

Harry:Alright, (s) bossyboots.

[They hurry off to the hospital wing, where Dumbledore is about to lock the doors.]

Dumbledore:(s) Well, children, did you stop Pettigrew from escaping?

Harry:… yes.

Dumbledore:Good. I (s) knew I could count on you.

[Hermione and Harry walk in and go to Ron’s bedside.]

Hermione:(s) Do you-

[Snape bursts in, followed by Fudge and Dumbldore.]

Snape:(snatches Harry up by his collar) WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS SIRIUS BLACK?

Harry:Sir, this isn’t like you.

Snape:(shakes Harry) I KNOW YOU’VE HIDDEN HIM! HE DESERVES PUNISHMENT! I KNOW WHAT HE DID!

Fudge:(shrugs) Guess we can’t do anything. I’m only one wizard, after all.

Snape:(turns to Fudge) THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, FUDGE. YOU’LL PAY.

[Snape storms out.]

Fudge:(huffs) Don’t know what’s got him so worked up.

Dumbledore: (quietly) He’s just suffered great disappointment.

Fudge:Bye then!

[Fudge exits. Dumbledore turns to Harry and the gang.]

Dumbledore:For your efforts, you deserve (s) recognition.

Ron:(apparently now conscious) Like money?

Hermione:Or fame?

Harry:Or parents?

Dumbledore:No. (s) A name. I hereby dub thou…

[Draco and the gang burst in, but remain unseen.]

Dumbledore:… the Golden Trio.

Draco:NO! (He faints, Crabbe and Goyle drag him out.)

Dumbledore:(s) Get some rest, children.

[Dumbledore wafts out.]

Harry:(s) Well, I’m glad everything’s sorted.

[Silence]

Ron:(shouts) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT MADE NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. IF ANYTHING, I AM MORE CONFUSED THAN USUAL, AND THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING.

END OF EPISODE TEN PART TWO

END OF WOEFUL WIZARDS PRISONER OF AZKABAN

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