Episode TwoMature

Scene 1:

[Harry and Ron plus all Gryffindors, excluding Hermione, are in the Divination room]

Harry:I wonder what our new teacher is like.

[Hermione appears out of nowhere]

Hermione:[Putting away Time Turner] Huh, I think this Time Turner is a little off.

Ron:(s) WHAT?

Hermione:(s)… nothing.

Ron:(s to Harry) Did Hermione just-

Harry:(s) Hush Ron. Teacher is coming.

[Trelawney shuffles into class]

Trelawney:[without infliction] Morning.

Hermione: [looks shocked] Well that was melodramatic.

Trelawney: [still in monotone] Everyone get a teacup.

[All students get teacups]

Harry: (whispering to gang) She likes the theatrics, doesn’t she?

Trelawney: Just read the textbook, okay?

[Trelawney falls asleep in her chair]               

Ron: (s to Harry) Did she just predict your death, Harry?

Harry: (stares into middle distance) I think so, Ron. I think so.

Scene 2:

[Draco and the gang are walking towards the Forbidden Forest]

Goyle: So, Draco?

Draco: Yes?

Goyle: Who’s going to be our singer?

Draco: (s)… I don’t know.

Crabbe: But we need a singer bec-

Draco: (turns around sharply and yells) I SAID I DON’T KNOW.

[Draco storms off. Crabbe and Goyle look at each other, stunned]

Scene 3:

[Outside Hagrid’s Hut. The Slytherins and Gryffindors are waiting. Hagrid comes out of the Forbidden Forest, leading Buckbeak]

Hagrid:Salutations, dear friends!

Draco:(in high pitched voice) Salutations!

[Goyle and Crabbe giggle. Harry glares at Draco.]

Hagrid:Before we start, does anyone know what an animagus is? No? Harry, you better find out soon.

[Harry looks confused]

Hagrid:Now, who knows what this noble creature is? (points to Buckbeak)

[Everyone looks at Hermione]

Hermione:(s) What?

Ron:What’s the answer Hermione?

Hermione:(angry s at Ron) How the bleeding hell should I know? (starts to cry)

Neville:(smoking) Hippogriff.

Hagrid:Congratulations, Hermione. That shall earn the Gryffindor household five points.

[Hermione stops crying and looks pleased with herself. Neville shrugs]

Hagrid:This good fellow’s name is Buckbeak. Now, the Hippogriffs are a very proud race. If you dare offend them in the slightest, you will die. So, Harry, go and pet him.

Harry:(s) WHAT?

Hagrid:I dare say, Harry, that you shall succeed in this endeavour.

Harry:Okay… (s) But only to defend Neville’s honour.

[Everyone looks shocked. Neville shrugs and continues smoking. Hagrid nods solemnly]
Hagrid: As always, sire. Now, to appease a Hippogriff you must-

Harry:(s) Bow?

Hagrid:(puzzled) Good heavens, no. How old fashioned. No, you must soothe a Hippogriff with the gentle thrum of a lullaby.

Harry:So, I have to (s) sing?

Hagrid:Or you could-

Harry:Fine. (s) For Neville.

[Harry starts to sing:]

“Hey there Buckbeak

Your coat looks sleek

Your wings seem large

I bet they could hold up a barge.

You look real nice

That’s all I wanted to say”

Goyle:(whispering to Draco) He has the voice of an angel!

Crabbe:(whispering as well) And the lyrics of a bard!

[Buckbeak nods. All Gryffindors cheer, except for Neville who continues to smoke. All Slytherins scowl. Hagrid wipes tears away with his ascot]

Scene 4:

[In the Hogwarts staffroom. Snape, Lupin, McGonagall and Sprout are all having afternoon tea.]

Sprout:More tea, Snape?

Snape:I’m allergic, you ins-

[Wardrobe rattles in a mysterious way]

Lupin:Is that a boggart?


Lupin:Oh. (Pause) Mind if I use it?



[They all take a sip of tea, except for Snape, who is drinking Diet Coke™]

Scene 5:

[Harry has just come back from riding Buckbeak. He is surrounded by Gryffindors.]

Dean:On ya, Harry!

Ron:(s) What a truly unforgettable experience, Harry.

Hermione:I believed in you, (s) Harry!

Harry:(s) And I couldn’t have done it without your belief, Ro- I mean Herm- wait, what?

[Harry falls off Buckbeak. Draco and the gang rock up]

Draco:Bet I can ride Buckbeak better than you, (s) Potter.

Ron:(s) Prove it, Milkweed.

Draco:Ahem (starts to sing) “Oh Amazing Grace-“

[Buckbeak attacks Draco. Draco falls over, bleeding. Crabbe and Goyle rush to his aid]

Harry:You’re such a (s) baby, Malfoy.

Crabbe:(through tears and s) He’s bleeding from the head!

Hermione:Yeah! (s) Just because you have a thing against half-humans.

Ron:Stop putting it on, (s) Mudfruit.

Goyle:He’s (s) unconscious.

[Hagrid picks up Malfoy]


[Hagrid rushes off, with Crabbe and Goyle in tow. There is a moment of silence]

Hermione:Well, let’s go to Defence Against the Dark Arts.

[Everyone shrugs and moves on.]

Scene 6:

[Draco is lying, asleep in bed. There is a bandage on his head. Crabbe and Goyle are holding a hand a piece]

Crabbe:Do you think he’ll (s) live, Goyle?

Goyle:(s)… probably.

Crabbe:Oh, okay then.

[Mr and Mrs Malfoy walk in]

Mr Malfoy:Oh, my baby!

[Mr Malfoy runs to Draco’s bed, sobbing]

Mr Malfoy:Who did this to you precious, who?

[Mr Malfoy picks up Draco’s head and brings Draco’s mouth closer to his ear]

Draco:(hoarsely) Buck… beak.

Mr Malfoy:(drops Draco’s head and stands up sharply) That’s it. I shall not rest until this Buckbeak is gone forever from Hogwarts and from this life!

[Dramatic music. Mr Malfoy storms out.]

Mrs Malfoy:Hi boys. How are you?

[Crabbe and Goyle look confused]

Mrs Malfoy:Oh, is Draco not feeling very well?

[Mr Malfoy comes back in, takes Mrs Malfoy by the hand and leads her away]

Scene 7:

[Harry and the gang are outside the DADA classroom, with the rest of the Gryffindors]

Harry:I wonder if Draco is going to be okay…

Hermione:(s) Of course he’s going to be okay. It was only a scratch. (s) Right?

Ron:Man, I’m hungry.

[Harry and Hermione stare at Ron.]

Ron:(s) I wonder what Lupin will be like.

Hermione:I bet he’ll be (s) interesting.

Harry:Dunno, I think he’ll be kinda boring.

Hermione:(s) What do you mean, Harry?

Harry:Well, every teacher we have is either really mundane, really dramatic or Hagrid.

Ron:Yeah, but that’s (s and stare into middle distance as well) life.

Harry and Hermione:(both s and stare into the middle distance as well) Life.

[The door to the defence against the DADA classroom mysteriously opens]

Lupin:(offscreen) Come in.

[The Gryffindors go in. Dramatic music.]


The End

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