Confessions of a 'nice guy'
I had opened a side window on my RV to vent-out the heat. When I do this, it allows for flying things to get inside my van. I don’t like flying things in my home, but I took the risk in order to cool it down quickly.
So the window is open, and I’m lying down quietly. Sure enough, I soon hear the buzz of something of significant size coming my way. I opened my eyes, and see a giant Flyasaurus coming right for me!
Well, I loooose it!!!
I leapt from my bed and lunged for the can of Bug-Be-Gone…
I grabbed it, I aimed it, and I sprayed it, and sprayed it, and sprayed it, and sprayed it; filling the entire front compartment with that toxic vapor to ensure that there was NO safe place for that fly to hide!
After I regained consciousness, I crawled back to bed, content that the silence meant I had won the fight!
Then I hear it; the screaming horror of the half incinerated fly coming from the curtains right behind my head:
“BUZZZZ!... BuuuuZZZZ!... Bzz! Bzz!... BzzzZZ!... BUZZZZZ!”
Oh, the humanity! The horror! The realization of what I’d actually done!!
I searched and searched, but couldn’t find it to put it out of its misery; I had to lie there and listen to it flop about, screaming in terror, dying a slow and agonizing death.
Finally, silence returned to my home, and I was left with only the thoughts of what I did. In lying there, eyes all glossy, I realized that I needed to come clean about this. That, despite the general consensus that I’m a ‘nice guy’; that I’m actually not, and you should all be forewarned!
I am a monster, a wolf in sheeps clothing- hiding behind the illusion of ‘niceness’.
I hurt a fly; and really, really, badly too!
So please, stop calling me a ‘nice guy’.
It’s just not true, and I’m not worthy of such praise, especially when it’s cutting into my dating pool too!