who knows me

no one i can see

When people first look at me I'm quiet but calm and collective. They always think since i don't have a major outbreak that I'm not troubled or that i never will have a major outbreak. But to their surprise, of their not knowings that i already have. I may not be like everyone else and start to cry. But at school where no there knows who people at home think i am. People at school actually think I'm a mess but then again that only person who thinks I'm a mess doesn't even go to my school so i should say that practically i may have my break downs there but it doesn't mean that people there don't think that I'm perfect their too. To be completely honest they do think I'm perfect i do almost perfect in everything i do their. So yes they think i am perfect. To everyones surprise that A i got on that test i was studying until 12 every night still thinking I'm going to fail. That match next week i win but I'm nervous to even step out of the house. Being able to walk out the house and help people with there problems not even mentioning mine they think i don't have any. So my question is does really anyone really know what i go though everyday. Does anyone know how hard it is get get though the day and have about 3 other things to do other than school. Let me tell you it isn't easy. Its like this little shell and now its even harder people expect more perfectness than i think is even humanly possible. Sometimes I don't even know if I'm even human. Im not writing this to get feedback on my writing skills I'm writing this here so i don't have to go though the questions my family would have if they saw this. It may be a bad thing I'm not showing them but I was hoping (I think i spelled that right but its hope with a -ing) that someone out there at least knows my reasons for this or what I'm going through.

The End

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