White-paw's Journal

Should it hurt so much to look at a picture, that you should turn away and wince, and for a second feel so insecure?

Pictures may be worth a thousand words, but I could not possibly describe my emotions with that tiny amount. 

When I look at a picture of Fox, I feel ashamed and guilty.  I shouldn't think that we might have a chance together.  And shame on me! for forgetting so easily how much he hurt me.  Every night I remember that it was he who shoved me in front of his friends, since I was the only girl, for fun.  It was he that caused me to run into a forest, embarassed and shedding tears.  But then when I look at him I melt, and then bitter again.  One look at his smile is all it takes...

And then there's Verde.  I never really liked her.  I look at her with Gracie's Plasma, I cannot help but snarl.  How dare she, when we were young, call me a hypocrite!  And at sweet Abigail's house - the two were best friends, of course - completely ignore me! 

First graders don't have cliques and "popular groups", so everyone should get along.  But then we get older, and we move on, and some of us think we're better than others.  Both of these two moved up the social ladder, leaving me behind.  Not that I don't love Gracie and Stormy... but it does leave me forlorn and bitter.

The End

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