Scared Of Myself

"Hello. My name is Kathy and I'm a alcoholi-" "Damn, wrong meeting" (they don't really get that one at creative writing groups but it's worth a try. I know, I have a terrible sense of humour).

Let's starts that again. My name is Kathy and I'm a shock-aholic. I am addicted to trying to shock people. But lately I've shocked and scared myself.  The reason for this, is that I, being such a freakishly introspective 'person', discovered that I think things that destroy people are beautiful.

Let me try to explain that better.

Ever since I saw the music video to Combat Shock by Warbringer, I have been in love with the whole machine-gun-fire thing right at the start. Don't pick that up wrong, I do NOT think killing innocent people is right or good at all. It was just the noise and destruction that appealed to me for some sick reason.


It's all kinds of destruction, fire, noise. The death isn't part of the appeal at all, I'm not that messed-up. Yet.

Whenever I used to watch all these series about disasters (before I pretended to 'get a life' - status: still a loser) I loved the volcano-eruptions, the burning buildings. I loved the shrieks of fear but hated the silence that came after those shrieks. The death. I never liked death, nobody does.


So that concludes today's entry. You may now start to run away in fear/disgust/hatred/anger/all three.  Thanks to anyone who has read these entries up to now, hate me if you want to, it's okay.

I scare myself, I scare other people. And I love things that destroy. But I hate death. I just wanted to clarify that.


The End

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