What helps you Protagonize?

I've a recurring problem with nine-eleven. Ever since the Trade Centre went down, I've had a problem. Besides the fact that people died catastrophically resulting in an entire country losing their bananas, my personal trauma might come across as trite. Regardless, it's a problem that I'll live with likely for the rest of my natural life. Every time I hear the phrase, "in the wake of nine eleven", my skin detaches and my soul curls into the husk of a gutted squirrel.

It's a terrible misnomer. Nine Eleven? There was a disaster on 9-11. Let's call it an emergency. An emergency 9-11. Emergency 911. Nine one one. The foolhardiness of the general North American population caught my attention when they missed the obvious the first time, choosing a moniker associated with a twenty four hour convenience store. 911. They should have called it 911.

Since I usually try to leave the dear reader with a some type of well cured knowledge in writing these little blurbs, let me continue. Bear with me. I promise some type of resolution. At precisely15:24 on July 27th, I had my personal "nine one one". For those who have been following it's well known that I received an e-mail from my ex-personal-love-Goddess saying that she was leaving.

Seems she had decided to sleep with a plumber, and I, always good with the relationships, thought this was something we should have discussed first and decided it was probably a good reason to end the relationship. Further communication revealed that she found my constant pecking at the keyboard unnattractive.

What? I have to choose between writing and a girl? Hope the plumber's happy. Syonara.

I might be the only one wondering the whole point of this little essay. The point is I haven't written since. And I'm trying to figure out why. What was different then? How can I restore my relationship with my first love, my laptop? What do I need to do to write? What is it that caused this "writers block separation"?

Primarily, I need structure. I like to know when I'm going to be at work and it'd better be at the same time every week. I like to go to the same pub and speak to the same people, and then meet new people who are to become the same people. Swimming same days every week. That's first and foremost.

Secondly, I need a comfortable place to be. Currently, I rent a room with a health nut named Leroy who does something called hot yoga where he sweats and makes himself into thew shape of a cat. Sometimes, I like to get silly melancholy drunk and throw words on the page and chain smoke and pretend my name is Ernest. I respect the fact that he'd prefer that I didn't smoke in his house. Further, he's informed me that should I choose to have an overnight guest, they're welcome to sleep in the guest room. Yes, I have a new father and his name is Leroy. Frankly, I need my own place. Because if anything's going to make me want to write, it's a one night stand.

So, I'm sitting at my workplace fuelled by coffee and nicotine and people I work with writing. These are the things I need in place to want to write and they're falling into place.

What do you need to protagonize?


The End

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