please - tell whoever the hell it is you know - that follows me around and yells at me - circles my block - calls me names across streets and throws shit around in the dark on my block -
that tall guy with the striped sweater - that older guy with the gray coat - that big dude - and all those other weasel folks that smirk and look at me like they are laughing - to leave me alone -
I am not a 'whore' because I happen to walk down a disreputable street - or because I spend the majority of my time alone - what is wrong with a woman going out alone - I like my own company - I do not have a child - nor would I be a bad mother to my non-existant child -
flaunting men and breaking hearts? - that is rich - how about spite, malice, destroying peace of mind, actually breaking a heart, usuary, the list goes on- as for being scared to live - easy for someone who has seen what they hypothetically 'want' to live for -
other than once with a lady - once half walking - half running away across a bridge - i have never seen you - it all makes sense though - you are right - i guess it is not you - just a bunch of wack jobs following me around - trying to make me feel like I am a wack job too - well - I am not in some booth handing out passes for sanity - but I am not the one in the zoo -
I am not looking at anymore people or vehicles -
i can stare at air you know - really see it - not a brown study - but actual time and space in air - its beautiful - i had hoped to find you there - i thought i had before - but you're never there anymore - and all these unkind, stupid and silly people keep coming around and showing up pulling me out into this place that is wasting my energy - time - love. I don't understand - I don't understand at all - where did the good part in you go - I know you were not all good - there was a sufficient dose of rat-ba****d - but you're awful - what happened? I hope it wasnt too bad.