This is making me nauseous. Lets get it over with.
Little by little I started noticing the really creepy shit my dad was doing. For example, if we were sharing a cigarette, and I went to pass it to him, instead of just reaching out and grabbing it like a normal person he would slowly run his fingers over mine and gently take it out of my hand. Every time he touched me it made my skin burn and I could feel the traces of where his fingers were, like the trail a snail leaves behind. Another thing he would do was if I were walking next to him, he would have his hand on the small of my back as I walked. I always tried to keep my pace one step faster than his so that his hand hovered millimeters behind me. (This is something that a couple of his friends had noticed, and it rubbed them the wrong way as well.)
Another thing that was going on was my panties were coming up missing - only the sexy ones. I never was able to figure out why until later on. I'll get to that. One day when he wasn't home I went into his room to look for his pistol, because I was going to honestly shoot myself. I couldn't find it in all the junk and clutter, but what I did find just made me want it even more. Scattered on his floor were several pairs of my sweatpants and pajama pants. I picked up a pair and I saw white stains all over the crotch area, and they were very stretched out. (I'm 4'11" and 90lbs, my clothes are very small compared to him.) I immediately dropped them and left the room. Another thing happened similar to this, only the cum-covered pants were neatly folded over the back of the chair by the desk in my room.
I also forgot to mention that even talking about wanting to go see my mom would send him off the deep end every single time. But now, I didn't care. I wanted my mom. I had to talk to someone, I needed reassurance that this wasn't normal, its not all in my head. I listened to him scream at me the entire way there and it didn't bother me, because somehow I knew that this would be the last time I'd have to hear it. I somehow knew that things were about to change.