A wedding toast I'm planning on giving at my father's wedding.
When my dad and Vicki first asked me to present a toast, I was not so excited. I mean, let's be honest here, this is a wedding. Weddings are filled with emotions, love, and they're a key part of everyone's life. So, in other words, I can't just write some silly poem, or crack a few distasteful jokes. I need to put my game face on and say what needs to be said.
So, hold on, buckle up, let's go:
As you can probably imagine - then again, you probably can't - whenever people mention that Vicki is soon going to be my step-mother - or that now she actually is - I practically freeze with fear. And that's not Vicki's fault! I promise!
It's all Walt Disney's fault. I don't know what he had against step-mothers, but that man would not rest until every child who had even heard the name Disney hated step-mothers. I mean, look at the story of Cinderalla. You have a step-mother that forces tons and tons of work upon a poor helpless girl, and then never allows her to have fun. And even worse, the story of Snow White. You have a step-mother who hates her step-daughter so much that she's willing to feed her poisoned apples! That's terrible!
But, then again, the story of Cinderalla also has a fairy godmother who turns mice into horses. So maybe Walt was pretty nuts. Maybe he never really had a step-mother, and thus his imagination was what conjured up all those ladies.
Or maybe, he never had the pleasure of meeting Vicki.
If you're here today, then you should know (and if you don't, then why are you here?) that Vicki Specht---err---Nelson is a lovely woman whose heart is in the right place. Sure, she can be a bit crazy at times...
. . .
A lot crazy at times, maybe... but that doesn't change the fact that she's a Godly woman whom God - and no doubt my father - loves very deeply.
I can always count on Vicki to be there when I need to talk to someone - and when I don't. And there's no doubt in my mind that she's the perfect match for my dad.
I mean, let's check the facts:
1) My dad's a pastor, and Vicki's trained to be a chaplain.
2) My dad loves sports, and Vicki loves sports.
3) They both enjoy making fun of each other. And they're both pretty easy to make fun of. Just kidding, just kidding.
4) But most importantly, they love each other. And that's the truth.
But Vicki, no matter how wonderful you are, I can't get passed the dreadful title "step-mother". I don't think anyone else can either. If I started referring to you as step-mother, everyone would picture some old lady holding out an apple. Right?
So I think I'll stick with Vicki for now, if that's okay. And no, I'm not going to call you Mrs. Nelson. I don't know if I'll ever get used to that name.
But hey! It's the truth. You are a Nelson now. And I think I speak for all the Nelsons when I say that we're blessed to have you as a part of our family.
Now, as Solomon once said:
"Eat, O friends!
"Drink, yes, drink deeply,
O beloved ones!"