I can't help this feeling. This feeling that has become so much a part of me.
There is always someone better.
That is the thought that continues to haunt every waking moment. No matter what I try to do, there will always be someone who does it better. There's always someone more talented (in singing, in acting, in writing), there is always, always, someone more beautiful.
I'm not the pretty one, I'm not the talented one, I'm not the brave one, I'm not the one that he wants.
I live my life in the shadow of others.
And I try to convince myself that I'm okay with that; it's been working so far. Others deserve to have the spotlight. They. Deserve. It. They are more talented, more beautiful, more more more. No one wants to see the girl who comes in second when first has already finished.
Because whether I like it or not, there will always be second best.