A Vivid MemoryMature


An Entrances glows, the sun shining in from the courtyard window and me still in a stance of utmost attraction with the once uprising student who had a chance to take advantage of all those dreams. The clocks not moving its set to the past with a pause as if going back, I can still see them all around me saying hello and all laughing at stupid things that meant nothing to others but something to us, this all to our dry sarcastic humor. I see myself always joking in that the first time I took English 12 and PE 12 always having attitude as if to impress the people that don’t care, the ones that are not here anymore because they chose to succeed with there classes, they chose to see past the distractions something I only wish I could do . Yet those distractions do come with a value, making classes livable and less zoned out to what is being taught, all the paper airplanes and paper balls the laughing and terrible jokes, the simplest people seen walking on the road to hearing an ambulance go by, all making our imaginations run wild with constant highs of our energy and tired now thrown away like the banana peel we do not choose to eat with bitter flavor and a great colour of yellow bringing the thought that we are all monkeys fighting for survival. Taking a walk now in this past life of my imagination I see myself, I peer through the window of the gyms blue door. Im sitting there in the center of the court, I remember this day very well, it was last year around the month of April; there was no one else here I stayed behind after that day of classes just sitting there in dead silence looking at all the dust beneath me on the hardwood court, I was thinking of how I screwed up, how I drove myself to a laid back failure that wanted to graduate but wouldn’t be that year. That was then though, this is now, back to time back to present, I now have all intention of graduation, the first of my moms kids, im sure I let her down before but I intend to fix that mistake, it’s something I have to do yea know that feeling of what’s right and what’s wrong the thought of knowing I can do it if I only just apply myself. Walking now faster and more restless, the thought of being late now sinking in, thud, thud, BAM! On the floor now, going to fast I guess I must have tripped over myself, maybe for a purpose though, something caught my eye down there, not a penny but a dime, an American dime at that, you got to wonder how many people all over have had this little coin in their pocket, hand even mouths just throwing it off to the side under a bench as if they don’t need pocket change, this im referring to as the person that dropped and left it here. What were they thinking? If they get enough dimes that will make a dollar or two, they could go get not one but two cheese burgers from McDonald’s, not the healthiest of food I know but im young I can handle it. After thinking of just leaving that great amount of money I think Im going to throw it in my shoe for good luck and safe keeping, I mean if I ever need change I know where to look. Getting up on my feet now, wiping the dirt off my jeans and continuing on to get my yet again and over repeated drink of water. . "Get to your classes, get to your classes", the Vice-principal and Principal in the hallway telling us, this an everyday exercise for them, making sure were all where we need to be, and I myself should start getting there now. Walking back past the photo and back to my desk with my binders, this a long block, and with geography it can drag on if you let it; the key Idea is not falling asleep in the class, or you may face the consequences of embarrassment without even knowing. You see our geography teacher Mr.Beeftink likes to play little mind games when your falling asleep, so when he see’s that your passing out , almost falling out of your seat he’ll start medaling with what he’s saying to the rest of the class; starting out with a lower voice then slower getting higher and higher causing you the one he’s teasing to wake and fall asleep again with the words going soft then loud, soft then loud, its rather amusing to witness. Looking to my left glancing at one of the maps I look steady and embrace a spot on the map, closer and closer I look until I see where I love, that sweet place of Europe; I remember back last year sitting in the Biology room where we had done our math that year, and I remember myself and two friends Matt and Andrew always talking to one another making jokes about whoever and whatever we could, well this day we had a substitute and instead of silent reading I chose to go to the front of the room and look at this big old, tattered here and there map of the world and all I said was we should go here and it was western Europe. Andrew and Matt agreeing with this we made up rough plans for a trip over the following summer , all excited and joyful about it then shot down like a fighter pilot in WWII, the big issue as always money, so that thought pushed aside like all the rest. Sure I’ve been overseas before , but that was different that was with the school, the boundaries apply remember, I just wanted a year overseas, exploring all it has to offer us, not the premium package of 12 days for three grand, I cant do that again, it was fun though, got it was fun. Its trips like that your never going to forget, the tapestry of what will talk about when were old and our children put us in a home. Lights flickering, hazing on and off, a cooling chill now coming forth from the back of the room, then black. Yay!, Hurray , time to go home!! It was a power outage probably not for long just a little surg, Im afraid of the dark, someone silencing the class with there words. What are our greatest fears, the suspenseful murder seen with the killer under your bed, creepy crawly insects, maybe the feeling of aging showing weakness in what we used to love. I know my fear, my deepest fear is what’s waiting for me after death, some say they saw the light when they were out of commission but it makes you wonder. Do we just sit there in blackness waiting in eternity for something that will never come, leaving our body behind yet letting our soul remain contained as an everlasting ghost which know’s no boundaries yet cannot move from where it lyes. There is death that is a fact of life that we must all face but then there is rebirth the joys of the world, the joys of the future held in the little ones hands.





There’s an entrancing silence when the powers out, able to hear everything, the calmness comforting your soul, yet telling others what you say to the unknown. Just a teen but I take value in these moments, the chance to talk and just listen to the echo of the silence within the world now shut off. The wind now taping soft on the window, wanting in but held in contempt the weight of which not able to shatter glass as if to shatter and show us our flaw, our cracks in our identity. No others can tell me my flaws, that is for me to see myself, they can have opinion and judgement but something lurks overtop of this juncture this readiness of what’s waiting day by day, a lunge a fall a breakup something seen by all around, this is when you realize you’re a flaw a crack in the human look. This is no negative feeling it’s a plus it’s different it give you that drive to be someone, one great, one independent and one just keeping their inner soul their childhood their smile will show their laughter, not a flaw there is no flaw it’s just a thought to put you down. I have my own look, no one can ever take that away, we all change day by day showing our sides light to grey, that’s what I love about people, we can all be looked up to starred upon but we make it happen deep down we stare back and we fight the fear to be who we were born to be. Greatness makes up people, failure makes them better, if they can fall and strive to get back up they can grow to be greater than what they were, confidence is something I lack, that drive to grow is something I lack but it will come, I know it will, it all just takes time. When I walk down the halls of this school, I see people capable to grow I see people great already, they will all get better; just take a walk, you will see youth, now stare in their eyes their fear but down there, is something waiting to change the world. That’s why were all here, isn’t it? To change the world around us. I know this girl, she’s bright and funny, she’s beautiful and has so much potential for so much more, she’s often cut down by friends, calling her stupid as if it were true, its not though. If only you could stare into Shawna Collie’s deep blue eyes, you would see a world with a beach with a sun and much positive energy, she helps me put things better into perspective, she’s short and small but could carry the weight of the world on her shoulders I believe that I really do, her laughter it could bring something to all of us, its just greatness in one, a good friend she is, if you ever get the chance look into those eyes and you’ll see a world of happiness. Sitting there, the darkness overpowering the class to sit in silence, hearing other students running around in the halls laughing, If you could just close your eyes here, you would be happy, listening to the joist wonder of young teens at their best. "So what shall we do"? Mr.Beeftink asking the class, a girl in the back asked if we could just enjoy the moment while it lasted, we all agreed with laughter later settling as like a sweet drop of rain on a lake mustered by the silence of a lakeshore breeze. Waiting now like my fear, a few minutes already feeling like eternity, I won’t die here, I guess it’s just that clammy feeling grasping me a look of what’s ahead, a foreshadow of death in my thoughts. "Hey dude, look at this, hahahaha", this my friend Chris showing me a picture of a lady soaking in some bathtub clothes on drinking a beer as to cool off, I laugh and then I look closer and after capturing the back round image it isn’t funny, it’s not funny at all; you see that lady was in the bathtub cause that’s all she has now, after a class 3 tornado flew down and caused much devastation. I don’t know why we were laughing but that’s all we do not yet feeling what its like since we don’t get huge storms like that here in the Thompson Okanagan. Chris, well Crazy Chris as I sometimes call him and write on his binder as that, laughs at tons of stuff, he has great ambitions and quirky jokes that we often laugh to in class, he has so many ideas just doesn’t really strive on them, but he will, Ill make sure of that. He’s got talent maybe not the best but I see it, he likes being behind the camera not on the spot, he’s the guy behind the seen keeping us all in a comedy relive feeling, its great and aspiring to see. It’s nice to know that you have friends like him in the world right there just waiting to be great. A flash of light, power on again, the waiting in an uncertain fear, waking like out of a dream, sitting in class now blinking lots and rubbing my eyes as if to awake. "Well that was a good day of geography", Mr.Beeftink saying in upmost sarcasm as the class laughed with him, we all just closed our books and chatted with others for the next while. What a distraction, the power going off like that, giving us time to embrace something rare, the silence in school, often not happening but it lets us think, with brief noises reflecting words of curiosity and joy, this only because the power is out though, it’s not an expression of understanding it’s just an immature way if being a teen. What drives us? What gives us the motivation to strive off being happy and doing stupid immature things, like setting up trash cans and running hurdles in the hall, where do we get it from, the active heart of a teen, desirable to many. I think our youth is something we take for granted, the fast healing healthy bodies of the future predecessors of our parents, we don’t realize that if we don’t take care of what we have will get all beat up and bruised cause a future of broken people. Beep! "Good Afternoon, are for your morning announcements"? Everyone wishing to be on there way already, so impatient having to stay seated while we listen to something we can’t hear anyway, due to all the noise in the class. Off we go though, time for lunch most kids either heading down to the cafeteria or across the street to get a slice of pizza, some even go to the local grocery store called Askew’s. I work there, im a stock boy, putting groceries on the shelves, facing them all to look picture perfect, there’s good owners/mangers there. Ron and Ardice Daniels being husband and wife owning the store, I’ve known them since I was just little and went to my brother Damiens’ hockey games, there son played hockey with my brother. I’ve often wondered of that’s how I got on there because there family knows mine, I hope not, id feel like dirt if that were true, nice people though, they treat us well as employees something some other places don’t know how to do. Ron a business man been in this grocery business quite sometime now, we often question if he ever leaves the store always wanting everything to be perfect as a good boss would want, then theirs Ardice and she thinks she’s funny always bugging the stock boys well I guess we really bug her to but that’s not the point well there really isn’t a point, but she is nice , makes sure were all doing well and if your nice to her she can give you days off haha. Then there’s second in command, Mr Wayner he’s the assistant manager he has been doing this grocery theme for quite awhile as well now. He has all these funny stories of my brothers when they all used to party together and he has this image of my brother Jay that he always does it basically involves Wayne pretending to smoke a dubie and just imitate my brother, but I gotta say its pretty good. Yea it’s a good place to work, its like my summer family and summer home, good times there. "Hey Tannah!! You wanna go play some basketball in the gym"? Yea sure just let me get my shorts and lunch, that’s my friend Brian he’s over here from Korea, he’s a pretty nice guy, funny as hell, he used to board with one of the teacher but now that his mom came down he’s been living with her in a condo. He’s managed to fit in the very well after coming over two years ago, It probably wasn’t easy when he first got here with the change in language and food and everything really. Just this year he’s been really into playing basketball so I helped him out a bit, gave him a few pointers, he’s pretty good at it and people say he sucks but he doesn’t he just never really had a chance to play and he was too late to play on the team, but I guess that’s ok sometimes, cause some people just aren’t ready for that atmosphere. Im glad I got to know him as a friend though, he’s pretty good for laughter and just being there for someone to talk to I guess. To my locker I go, pop it open grab my shoes and shorts and my t-shirt, then I reach to the top and grab my plastic bag, in the bag is my lunch. Hey Brian lets go to the bleachers, him already horking down one hotdog of two and mixing that with his chocolate milk, replying back with a full mouth "ok lets go"; off we went walking up to the bleacher, 3rd row of seating just past the stairs. I start eating and Chris and Scott come along and join us, Scott is a high energetic guy, very athletic, he’s a soccer play, pretty good at it so I hear, he also plays most school sports and also is in Rescue which is pretty cool. He’s a pretty good friend to it was pretty much just him and I actually drinking on my birthday, Scotts a pretty round about person if I really think about it, he is always there its, nice to know. This pretty much the group of people I’ve spent first and second semester around along with a lot of others, but when im playing in the gym its usually with those three young teenage boys, all different yet all alike we all treat each other well, all pretty close as if brothers in a way. Well that was a good lunch I say throwing my crusts and banana peel away, along with the plastic bag, you boys ready to play some basketball? "Yea why not, lets go". None of them really have that much playing experience, they just play for fun, they were not on the senior basketball team like me. Our team looked so promising at the beginning of the year, getting Cam McConnell back as point guard since he came back for a half the year, this was my second year of playing shooting guard. We started the season 1-2 then later half way through the season we lost to Vernon Christian a team we should have beat, this would be a dreadful loss because after the game Cam went back to Golden leaving me as Point Guard and Captain for North Zone playoffs. Our first game we got beaten up pretty bad, this was expected but I was playing terrible and just way under the weather after getting over the flu. The second game was different, In the locker room I said one word, the word was adversity, this was and always will be my most memorable game, maybe because it was my last or maybe because we played with heart. The opposition, Vernon Christian came out pretty fast and got the first basket but we came back and got 6 in a row with Steller all around defense, I came out on fire in the first half, well for me it was good. The second half was a different story however, Vernon came out with so much energy, our only point getters in the second half were Alex and Gaven, it was fun though, Im just always going to have regret though, being sick not playing 100% I let my team down big time, it was my fault we lost, my defense was terrible and it hurt losing my last game, I love the game, but the lesson that was learnt is that if we can go out play hard lose and keep our heads up then we are someone, that loss will shape us forever more, It was a big deal to me, sport is a big deal to me, if its not winning its nothing, isn’t that how were supposed to play? No, this is highschool and in a little school where we all get a chance to be someone its all for fun and that’s how it should be. Out of the change room we come now Scott, Chris, Brian and I. We just check ball and play, its fun, so many laughs, theirs no pressure playing for your friends, there is or should be however when playing for a school, your supposed to have pride wearing a jersey, your supposed to be luck to play the game and your supposed to love every second your on the court, and I do, god I do, hour after hour, day after day I spend just shooting, Im miss it, that’s not all ill miss but that’s a lot of it, that one big room where I love to compete everyday, it’s a great feeling. On my very first date I played basketball, well first I got drunk while my best friend Mitch drove for our double date, me just sitting in the passenger seat drinking home brew really sick but it did the trick, I only did it cause I was so nervous and I didn’t want to screw up ya know. Well any way I remember we go to Salmon Arm and go to McDonald’s to eat and I go to order and the guys name in Kermit like Kermit the frog and I was laughing so hard, and I almost dropped all the food good times, then we met the girls at the movies and wow I was buzzing good when I got there, I was all sweaty and scared and the movie was sketching me out buzzing and all. Well anyway later on after that we just went and played basketball with them and it was so fun, that’s when I was still starting and well she was a Senior Jewel for Salmon Arm so I had to try and look somewhat good at ball, its just that’s kind of why I started playing, and now I just love the game, its amazing how fate happens, isn’t it? One ball, one bucket, one person, that’s all it takes to have passion for a game and its great.

The End

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