Letting myself rant.
The feeling is like kissing a boy for the first time; you're so shocked and surprised, yet you feel so comfortable and relaxed, because its like you both wanted it, and went for it. But then... do you go back for more ? Its like, you're in such a good high in the moment, and you just feel awesome, but then you're second guessing yourself.. Do they want it ? But then you think, why not... its there, but you're just not sure how.
So then you get up to find this, the feelings like, you're spinning one direction and the world is spinning the other. You're so overfocused in that one moment, its like everything thing that's ever happened and everything that is going to happen is happening in that exact moment, at that exact spot in that exact time. Time is irrelevent. Time doesn't exsist. Everything is laid out. Or do the choices you make change ? The choices that someone else makes effects your life, and how you live it... or how it lives through you ?
SO many questions, yet so many answers that are unanswered. Leaving you feeling.. destroyed, demolished. Like you knew everything but you don't. But its good if you know that you don't know much,. Leaves room for growth.
Growth. Life. Love. SO many things to do, yet not enough time to do it. We get trained to do this, the way that our parents and our leaders were trained to live life, and then all of sudden when you realize what you're in, its too late. You're already so far deeeep, and so far away, that its almost impossible to turn back. You can strive to keep moving forward, and let it pull you under more, until maybe you go so far under that you finally reach the surface. Or you can try and move backwards. Swimming upside down, and you just lose yourself.
Everyone Loses themselves. Everyone is insane. Some are just more insane than others. Some of us are so insane, that we are actually enlighteneed, and throw all of our training to the ground and stomp on it, then yell and scream and shout. We regain control, then walk away, like a duck ruffling his feathers after a petty little fight with another duck. They leave it,. walk away, and never think of it again. The moment. Life is in the moment.
The moment. Its like kissing a boy for the first time; you're so shocked and surprised, yet so relaxed and calm, because its like you both wanted it. You and Life. Working together, side by side.