My thoughts and such as i deal with people in my life right now. i feel like no one is clever enough to catch on and understand the deeper meanings to what i say and do, this is my way of organizing my thoughts and clearing my head.
I lay there, curled up in a ball, trying to keep my anger and frustration contained. My body shakes,I feel the anger burning in my soul. I want so bad to explode, to destroy, to break, to hurt all those people. But there is one person who I couldn't hurt. She is the only one who safe. The only one I could never hurt. This one special girl, who causes me so much pain, but whom I still love. this girl who won't pick me, but insists that she loves me. She is the only one that will always be safe. No matter how confused she makes me, I will never lay a hand on her in violence.
I don't understand why this girl makes me feel like this. I don't know if she is even right for me. But she is the one I can't get out of my mind. I have these thoughts of doubt about being with her, but I admit I am afraid of accepting them. I need someone in my life to care about me, to know and understand me. I am so cold inside, filled with an emptiness that is not healthy in any sense. My only hope to feel anything again right now is her, but I don't even know if she is willing to be the girl I need. I know she loves me, but she doesn't understand what i need. Se doesn't understand. And it tears at my heart and mind. I want to be with her, to be happy again and to be everything she needs.