SCENE 9 – INT Shop
CALLUM: This is hopeless.
WILL: I’m not so sure – I saw a pretty nice top over there that she might like.
CALLUM: You’re forgetting my problem.
WILL: Colour classes? Lack of fashion sense? I thought that was what I was here for.
CALLUM: Ha. Sizes. That’s a can of worms that I don’t want to open.
WILL (more interested in the clothes): What?
CALLUM: One size too big is embarrassing. Too baggy. One size too small is useless. Too tight.
WILL: Lots of girls wear tight clothes. Shows off their…
CALLUM: And besides, chances are, either way, she’ll think I’m calling her fat.
WILL: So clothes is a no as well.
CALLUM: For her, yes.
WILL: What do you mean?
CALLUM: I quite like that top.
WILL: No. Just no. So new ideas. You got any?
CALLUM: Your job no?
WILL: I’m all out. Plus I am pretty much drained.
CALLUM: Emotionally or physically?
WILL: Both. And a bit more. We have been shopping for hours Callum! It doesn’t even take Mitch this long!
CALLUM: Fine. Umm. Flowers?
WILL: That’s more like the Callum I know! But still – you’re forgetting. Law? Health? Parents?
CALLUM: A child?
WILL: I suppose that way is pretty cheap. I mean you aren’t technically spending anything. Not in the long run anyhow.
CALLUM: It was a joke. Definitely not with her.
WILL: What’s that supposed to mean?
CALLUM: She’s not the type.
WILL: There’s a type?
CALLUM: Nor my type.
WILL: Then why date?
CALLUM: Not really my decision.
WILL (surprised): Got yourself a controlling woman?
CALLUM: Not what I meant.
WILL: Oh. Why not give me the whole ‘amnesia’ spiel too? I mean it’s what you seem to have told everyone else.
CALLUM: I trust you. Right decision?
WILL: I hope you think so. So what is your type?
CALLUM: Kind and caring. Cute and beautiful. Smart.
WILL: So your type is you?
CALLUM (dryly): I am in love with myself. How did you guess?
WILL: They say opposites attract.
CALLUM: Now you’re the one making comments!
(Image flashes back to a jewellery shop window. CALLUM is pointing at a couple of items but WILL is unsure.)
CALLUM: That one?
CALLUM: What about that one?
WILL: Definitely no.
CALLUM: That necklace is quite nice.
WILL: Then go with that. The shop is about to close Callum and I am losing the will to live.
CALLUM: But what about those earrings?
WILL: They’re nice too. Know if she has her ears pierced?
(Both look unsure)
CALLUM: I’ll get the necklace.
WILL: Just a couple of hundred quid blown on someone you don’t even know. Nice one Cal.
CALLUM: That’s the Will I knew.
WILL: I’m sorry.
WILL: For being grumpy.
CALLUM: I think I should be the one apologising. Sorry for today.
WILL: Why? I had quite a good time.
CALLUM: Well thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you.
(WILL goes in to kiss CALLUM but he quickly backs away.)