Part Two: Scene NineMature

SCENE 9 – INT Shop

CALLUM: This is hopeless.

WILL: I’m not so sure – I saw a pretty nice top over there that she might like.

CALLUM: You’re forgetting my problem.

WILL: Colour classes? Lack of fashion sense? I thought that was what I was here for.

CALLUM: Ha. Sizes. That’s a can of worms that I don’t want to open.

WILL (more interested in the clothes): What?

CALLUM: One size too big is embarrassing. Too baggy. One size too small is useless. Too tight.

WILL: Lots of girls wear tight clothes. Shows off their…

CALLUM: And besides, chances are, either way, she’ll think I’m calling her fat.

WILL: So clothes is a no as well.

CALLUM: For her, yes.

WILL: What do you mean?

CALLUM: I quite like that top.

WILL: No. Just no. So new ideas. You got any?

CALLUM: Your job no?

WILL: I’m all out. Plus I am pretty much drained.

CALLUM: Emotionally or physically?

WILL: Both. And a bit more. We have been shopping for hours Callum! It doesn’t even take Mitch this long!

CALLUM: Fine. Umm. Flowers?

WILL: Age?

CALLUM: Alcohol?

WILL: That’s more like the Callum I know! But still – you’re forgetting. Law? Health? Parents?

CALLUM: A child?

WILL: I suppose that way is pretty cheap. I mean you aren’t technically spending anything. Not in the long run anyhow.

CALLUM: It was a joke. Definitely not with her.

WILL: What’s that supposed to mean?

CALLUM: She’s not the type.

WILL: There’s a type?

CALLUM: Nor my type.

WILL: Then why date?

CALLUM: Not really my decision.

WILL (surprised): Got yourself a controlling woman?

CALLUM: Not what I meant.

WILL: Oh. Why not give me the whole ‘amnesia’ spiel too? I mean it’s what you seem to have told everyone else.

CALLUM: I trust you. Right decision?

WILL: I hope you think so. So what is your type?

CALLUM: Kind and caring. Cute and beautiful. Smart.

WILL: So your type is you?

CALLUM (dryly): I am in love with myself. How did you guess?

WILL: They say opposites attract.

CALLUM: Now you’re the one making comments!

(Image flashes back to a jewellery shop window. CALLUM is pointing at a couple of items but WILL is unsure.)

CALLUM: That one?


CALLUM: What about that one?

WILL: Definitely no.

CALLUM: That necklace is quite nice.

WILL: Then go with that. The shop is about to close Callum and I am losing the will to live.

CALLUM: But what about those earrings?

WILL: They’re nice too. Know if she has her ears pierced?

(Both look unsure)

CALLUM: I’ll get the necklace.

WILL: Just a couple of hundred quid blown on someone you don’t even know. Nice one Cal.

CALLUM: That’s the Will I knew.

(They laugh.)

WILL: I’m sorry.


WILL: For being grumpy.

CALLUM: I think I should be the one apologising. Sorry for today.

WILL: Why? I had quite a good time.

CALLUM: Well thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you.

(WILL goes in to kiss CALLUM but he quickly backs away.)


WILL: Sorry.

(CALLUM leaves.)

The End

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