One of my favorite music groups, Plumb, has a CD entitled "Chaotic Resolve." Honestly, it's one of my favorite phrases in the world. I feel that so many of my decisions can be defined as a "chaotic resolve."
And this was one of them.
As I sat there, I knew in the back of my mind that my heart's condemnation was false. There is nothing I can do to earn salvation...still, my deceived heart told me I was too bad for redemption. So I decided to tell myself the Truth...even though I don't even fully believe it.
On the page next to the song I just showed you, I wrote these sentences:
I have chosen to believe in forgiveness.
I have chosen to believe in redemption.
Lord, I want to trust you FULLY.
I choose to believe I'm not guilty.
So I'll take Communion. I'll count myself among the saints. Because contrary to what that pathetic devil is trying to tell me...I'm not too guilty.