The Song

I wrote this song in the midst of my inner turmoil. Note: When the song says "Cassandra Persephone Morrow," it's actually supposed to say my real name. I just didn't want to share my real name just yet. And scrupulosity is also referenced in this; long story short, it's spiritual perfectionism and the belief that I can never be saved unless I am an absolutely perfect person. WHAT RUBBISH. Also, I never use the "d" word; I only used it to describe what the devil was telling me. So pardon my use of the term, please.

Too Guilty

Verse 1, part 1
I'm such a bad, awful person
Though I can't define exactly why
All I know is condemnation
That forces me sinful soul to die

Verse 1, part 2
I count myself among the unredeemed
For I feel as though nothing can save me

Chorus
Lord, open my eyes, for I am blind
I don't mean to resist; I don't want to whine
I fear my scrupulosity will kill me
You say You forgive...but I'm too guilty. 

Verse 2, part 1
I will die trying to earn salvation
For I cannot accept Your Grace
There is no way a Holy God could want me
I may as well just fall away

Verse 2, part 2
I count myself among the damned
For there is too much blood on my hands

 Chorus
Lord, open my eyes, for I am blind
I don't mean to resist; I don't want to whine
I fear my scrupulosity will kill me
You say You forgive...but I'm too guilty. 

Bridge
While those around me sing Your praise
I feel only intense spiritual angst
The voices of condemnation only grow
Telling me what I already know
"You cannot win, you're burden's too big!
Damn you, Cassandra Persephone Morrow!" 

Chorus
LORD, I beg You, open my eyes! PLEASE!
Jesus, can it be You despise me?
Hold me close, lest this should kill me!
Or can it be that I'm...too guilty? 

The End

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