TO SPEAK WITH MY FATHER AGAIN..
I think all the thoughts and feelings I have will never go away. You'de figure after six years, I'd be able to write this without tears fallin on my keyboard..
You my father were something else, I am certain you were the only person in existance that could really and truly pick a fight in a room all by himself (smile)..
We were so far apart, not just distance but emotionally.. What happened? You were the teller of that fantastic hardship story, you were the author of a letter to me when I was just blossoming into womanhood..
I missed you, but, I dared not call you, I never knew, if you would fly into a rage. Unfortunately I never learned to be that proverbial duck, you know..
Now, I wish I had, god you have no idea,,, how much I miss you. I think I just took for granted, you would always be there..
I think what hurts even worse, I didn't get to tell you I loved you..
You had such big plans for me, I know you felt let down because I went another direction, I don't regret it, she gave me three Dandelions.. this is your fault, you could not forgive me.
I decided I would make my own way, I had hard times, bumped my head many times, this is my fault, when you asked me to, I wouldn't come home.
Isn't it funny, how wise we become when we can't do anything to fix it? Well, if you were here, you would see your grandchildren, grown, making their way in this world, trying to send me to my room..(sigh) You'de see these beautiful little Dandelions.. boy you'de love them... Hindsight... I'm done, I love you so much..
Miss you Dad ..