A small story of a girl wishing for good to befall her friends when her own life is in turmoil.
A story in 7 (If I can write that much) parts.
Another night, sitting at home alone and reading stories of romance I wish I could have on crappy websites that talk constantly of anime characters that fall hopelessly and completely in love with the reader (in a closet during a game of seven minutes in heaven no less).
I wish life were like that. Actually, what would be more honest would be for me to say that I wish my life were like that. As cruel and heartless as it sounds, I want my life and no one elses to be like these stories.
Oh, I want for others to fall in love and experience all the beauty of it. I’m not that cruel and I want everyone to find their soul mate, but I want only my life to be like these people.
For example, who wouldn’t want fantastic adventures with demons and angels fighting over who gets the princess that I didn’t know I was? School days filled with classmates teasing me in the halls, only to get jealous when the new kid flirts with me. Royalty treating me like I’m female . . .
I know I am going on a small bit of a tangent, but that is a major part of my problem with reality. Because of the type of person I am and the friends I keep, I am apparently not allowed to be treated like I am a female. Don’t get me wrong, I love play fighting, making crude and dirty jokes, saying whatever I want and having it taken exactly as I meant it, it’s great. However, when all you’ve ever strived to be is one of the guys . . . well, be careful what you wish for, because you just might one day fit into that category, and never EVER get out.
Would it kill someone to open a door for me? Or how about ask how my day was without it being an afterthought about how their day went? What about asking how I am, or helping me up from the ground? Offering me a shoulder to cry on when I’m feeling particularly weak and stupid that day?
How about reassuring me that I look beautiful without me needing to ask if I do?
Of course, Murphy’s Law states that the ONE PERSON who does treat me slightly like a girl would not only be unavailable but also my best friend and whom I’m not romantically inclined towards.
It’s understandable that I would only feel sisterly love towards him. He is truly an amazing person, someone I know I can count on, even if I don’t talk about serious things often.
And I’m not afraid to say I love him, true I might be slightly afraid of his girlfriend (she’s absolutely gorgeous by the way, kind and sweet) taking it the wrong way. I’m not afraid to admit it to myself because, in my mind, I do love him.
In my mind, loving someone is when you can’t conceive of your life without them, whether it be long distance or seeing each other every day, that person changes your attitude to be happy and look on the bright side of things so much that imagining how you had gotten by without that friend before seems completely impossible.
However, like I said, as much of a gentleman (in his own screwed up way) he is, I don’t romantically love him.
So why can’t my life be like those stupid stories?
Well, maybe not the “I love you in seven minutes” ones, or the “It was love at first sight” ones, but how about whatever is up there, controlling our lives, learns to stop writing psychosis and depression into my life and instead writes in a little love story for me?
Everyone else has someone to call their own, someone who they can lean on when things get rough, someone who they trust, someone who won’t fuck everything up. Someone who they’re comfortable to just sit and relax with . . .
You know, just once I want to be taken out to a restaurant. Have my chair pulled out for me. Have a man kiss my hand when we meet.
It’s the simple gestures that someone wishes they got the most.
But most of all I guess, if I was going to pick a topic to this whole thing, it would be a wish.