Silence

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess these are just my thoughts. I am deaf, by the way and relate to many of the feelings I've expressed so far in this. But some of this is an exaggeration, for instance I did not loose all of my hearing at once. I lost all the hearing in my left ear and then lost all the hearing in my right ear once I received a Cochlear Implant. However, many of the things in this story/diary are true. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think :)

This is the sound of nothing. No music to my ears, no melodies to hear. Stuck in silence, I feel trapped, alone, in doubt. This cannot be happening to me, I need to use my ears. My stomach is aching with butterflies; my head is spinning too fast. I don’t know how to tell my parents; I don’t want them to worry too much. I want the pain to be erased; I want something to calm down with. Music is not an option, as my ears will not allow it. I am stuck inside my head, the loudest place to be. My mind is screaming loudly, yet life outside is still and undisturbed.

There’s no simple explanation for this; I simply just woke up. Life keeps going quickly, but I timidly step back. How can I carry on without the sound? I cannot communicate, I just can’t understand. I watch my mother’s lips move, but there’s nothing I can do. Her eyes begin to water. She feels helpless because she can’t communicate with her daughter.

Will I have to read lips? Would it be necessary to change schools? Am I going to learn Sign Language?

I can’t stand the thought of any of this. I love my friends and now I won’t ever see them again. I can’t converse with them anymore, so what’s the point? 

The End

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