AMCOLIN96- The Black Dead ParodyMature

Hello, sorry this took a while so I thought I'd parody my own story once again I hope you enjoy.

(Camden, Bradley, Rose, Quincey, Delilah, Antonio, Stan, Heather and Victoria enter) 

Camden: Okay everyone so we got some of those zombies to be dealing with!

Delilah: How many times do I have to inform you Mr. Marshall? They are labelled "The Black Dead" you cannot call them "Zombies"

Quincey: Why the bloody hell not my dearest Delilah?

Delilah: Because Mr. Jones we are to address them by their Goverment given name and not meaningless slang invented by you

Quincey: Invented by me! Listen here woman, I don't know if you've watched the "Of the living dead" movies or heard of George Romero but they are zombies point blank.

Delilah: They have Black fluids, they are different from "Zombies" 

Heather: You mean black blood? (clasps her on the back) c'mon! Loosen up! Their zombies they look and act just like zombies, having their blood black makes no difference.

Rose: Yeah, I mean if I were too make a zombie story...

Quincey: Rose you're ten years old, I certainly hope you haven't been dreaming up that dark stuff.

Rose: Of course not (turns to Stan) yeah anyway I'd give them bat wings and fang like teeth which were 3 feet long, and they come along and rip your neck out and suck your guts out...

Stan: That's rubbish! I'd have them fangs and spikes all over their body and have their eyes red and blood would Green! And they'd all be 15 meters high!

Victoria: Well thankfully for us children, they are not like that. We are safe here.

Quincey (yawning) are you joking me? I'm bored out of my wits, and were stuck on the top of a flat with no way out.

Camden: We just need to cope with it.

Quincey: Says the one imaging his brother was with him, just a coping mechanism.

Camden: Hey! That's personal! 

Quincey: Still I imagined by end of the world being stocking up in a basement or becoming a legendary killer of zombies as I'd prowl the world with an badass group. Not stuck in a rotting flat staring at the zombies all day doing fuck all.

Bradley (speaking up): I agree, if the world is ending we should be doing something rather than just sitting here hoping it will end.

Camden: Well spoken Bradley. 

Heather: (breaking the fourth wall) It's soooo obvious you're meant to become his father figure because Ian's a messed up religious freak. 

Delilah: You are not entitled to break the fourth wall, it's not allowed.

Heather: Well fuck it, this is a parody you know we can take a breather before the story continues. 

Quincey: God it's been predictable and dull so far I mean wrote up this whole story anyway? Seriously the bad ass group I've dreamed off consists of a cranky old couple, three kids, an elderly nice woman, a old Indian woman and her baby, an insane postman who sees people in his head, a Spanish guy who doesn't word of english, a fat moaning teenager, me in general and little miss correct grammar all the time! I mean could you imagine us 15, taking on a zombie horde?! 

Stan: They could have least written in more hot chicks (under Victoria's glare) I mean... well... nicer people, like Victoria.

Quincey: Delilah's the only fit one here! 

Delilah (blushing): I can understand you have a man's needs and as a man in his prime of his sexual activity you would see me as a possible partner for reproduction, but unfortunately I am not ready for a relationship at the moment and I would be forced to put you into a state of Incapacitation if you try to make lustful movements towards me.

Heather: Basically, fuck off you horny fella I'm not interested and if you try and shag me I'll clobber ya. 

Quincey: Thanks for clearing that up.

Antonio: Chicos Erm lo que estamos hablando?

Stan: Well at least we got Antonio to tease. (Turning to the Spanish man) We talk about Shagging. (Points at Zombies) they- called- Shaggers.

Antonio: They (points at zombies) called- Shaggers?

Stan (beaming) Yup.

(Antonio smiles unaware of his mistake, as they others laugh) 

Victoria: Now, now let's not be too hard on the lad, we have the other things to keep us occupied.

Quincey: Yeah chucking nails into a zombie's mouth.

Camden: Yeah and long emotional talks for character development.

Quincey: Baw- Ring! Jeez, I want some action already! 

Bradley: Well why don't you try crawling across a rope next time, and see if the Lord is on your side then.

Quincey: My rope saved you guys, you should be thankful 

Bradley: Well we'll see...

Camden: Oh God Stephanie's coming! 

Quincey: Come on then you lot, let's go before she chucks one of us out for no reason.

Antonio: Get-away-from-shaggers?

Stan: Oh yes.

(They move onwards)

Camden: Anyway let's hope we don't have any more twists dropped us on, hey?

Bradley: Amen to that, although I doubt it, our writer seems to like writing weird things.

(Meanwhile in a dingy office somewhere, rubbing his head) 

Amz: Goddamit! I have to try and make this the zombie story I've always dreamed of! I need another twist... that will outdo every story on this site so I will gain the power! (Gives his signature evil laugh) 

Amz: Right how shall I hurt them even more? Yes, I should kill off him... and then her, and then Rose finds out Quincey is actually her father and not her brother. Carl was actually imagining Camden the whole time. Victoria is the true villain behind everything, Antonio is really Italian, Delilah works for FBI and knows the truth behind the infection...

(Scribbles this down as he gets evermore powerful, or crazy with power) 

The End

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