Trish- I Promise ParodyMature

All Characters belong to Trish

(Roxanne, Lea, Jensen, Jet, Nancy and Drew enter the scene)

Roxanne: So, what did you two (points to Nancy and Drew) invite us all here for?

Nancy: Well I thought, and Drew agreed a triple date here would be great! 

Lea: (grinning) Nice idea.

Roxanne: Is this just "Piss off Roxanne Payes day?" Cause I haven't heard of it.

Jensen: Oh come on Foxy Roxy, me and you...

Roxanne: (producing knife) I swear to Christ. One. More. Word. From. You. And. It. Will. Be. The. Last. Word. You. Ever. Say. 

Jensen: Hey! (Pause) Oh look I said another word and I'm still here.

Roxanne: I'm not. I'm off.

Lea: Oh come on Rocky... please stay! 

Roxanne: It's Foxy Roxy... (realises her mistake as Jensen laughs at her) It's Roxy! R-O-X-Y! How hard is that to understand!?

Jensen: It's hard because all I can see right now is a Foxy Roxy...

(Roxanne lunges at Jensen, Drew and Nancy hold her back)

Roxanne: LET ME GO! 

Nancy: We don't want any violence! 

Roxanne: SHUT IT MIDGET! 

Drew: Now come on today is meant to be an affectionate day.

Roxanne: Well I'm awfully sorry to inform you that not everyone's relationships are filled with sunshine and rainbows like yours!

Drew: HEY! Our relationship is nothing like that!

Nancy: Yeah! Our Relationship is all about Sunshine, Rainbows and Ponies! Get it right Rocky!

Drew: Yeah! God, some people!

Roxanne: Maybe, I'd get it right, if you got my name right!

Lea: What's a matter Rocky?

Roxanne: Lea, you're sounding like you're 12 rather than 18. And I'm not named after Sylvester Stallone's flabby faced boxer!

Jensen: Yeah, she's right! She's my Foxy Roxy!

Roxanne: May I remind you that... (draws knife to his face) I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING PROPERTY! AND I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!  

Lea: Never thought my sister would turn Psycho over this.

Roxanne (turning to her looking demented): Psycho? (Laughs) Do I look crazy to you!?

Jet: Do we really have to answer that?

Lea: Yeah, you do sis.

Roxanne: I give up! I'd rather throw myself from the top of Niagara falls then stay here.

Jensen: Thinking about it Niagara falls is a romantic hotspot for couples! 

Drew: Well we could go there then!

Nancy: Yeah! 

Roxanne: Jesus Christ, what have I done?

Jensen: Started off me and you baby. When we get to Niagara falls I...

Roxanne: (backing away from everyone) I-AM-LEAVING! RIGHT NOW! I DON'T NEED THIS ANYMORE! TRY AND FOLLOW ME! OR TRY AND PERSUADE ME TO RIDE INTO THE SUNSET WITH THIS DOUCHE (Points at Jensen) THEN BE MY GUEST! BUT I WILL HURT YOU IF YOU TRY! CONSIDER THAT A PROMISE! 

(She storms out)

Jensen: She wants me.

Lea: Yup, same time, same place next week guys?

Jet: Yeah, we'll be here.

Nancy: And eventually we'll get Jensen and Rocky together.

Drew: (turning to Jensen) You'll get together in the end, you and Rocky, won't you?

Jensen: I promise that I will. 

The End

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