Scene Six: A Comedy of "Err"s.

OTHELLO: She swore, in faith, t’was strang, t’was wondrous strange ... if I had a friend I ... errr ... Iago, stop pulling faces at me or I’ll come over there and shove your boot up your nose!


IAGO: Lay thy finger thus –

RODERIGO: No, you rotten pervert!


OTHELLO: He that stirs next to carve for his own rage –

CASSIO: Yeah, peace dudes!

OTHELLO glares at CASSIO. IAGO pops up at his shoulder and smiles sweetly.

IAGO: Can I stab him for you?

OTHELLO: Yes please.

CASSIO: Wait, what? Oh no, no no no, Iago, no, no no no! (runs off the stage with IAGO in hot pursuit)


IAGO: I hate the Moor –

OTHELLO: Oi! I heard that!



IAGO: I ha’t, it is engendered. (turns and shouts offstage) Quick, Roddy-boy, to the Batmobile!


RODERIGO (dying): Oh thou damned dog!

IAGO stabs him and runs back to CASSIO.


RODERIGO: He did it!

IAGO (throwing his hat at RODERIGO): Shut up and die already!


EMILIA: Madam, here comes my lord.

CASSIO: Madam, I’ll take my leave.

OTHELLO: Yeah, you’d better run, you pansy!


DESDEMONA: His bed shall seem a school ... no, that’s not right is it? No, someone wrote that in there, Iago was that you?

IAGO: Why do I always get the blame for everything? (jumps into Othello’s arms and starts sobbing)

OTHELLO pats him awkwardly, while giving the audience a “what is this!?” face


EMILIA: What, ho!

CASSIO (offstage): You talking about me?

IAGO and MONTANO giggle-shriek


OTHELLO (mid monologue, when he loses his place): Oh hang on ... bah, THE DEVIL WEARS PANTALOONS!


DIRECTOR: Aaaaand that’s a wrap guys!

RODERIGO: Actually that’s my lunch...

The End

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