Greg has cleared all the obstacles for change in the town.
Now, instead of fighting others, Greg and his gang of friends must band together to actually do something that will alert the higher authorities to make Mortdale a better place.
With a prom coming up, it seems like everyone is loved up, but in reality Valentine's Day will not turn out as planned for many. As romance, sex and love mingles with politics in the penultimate chapter to the Mortality Tale Series.
(February 13th, it is merely ten hours since the funerals of George, Lucy, Ryan, Uraz, Andrew and Richard. Greg is in his room staring into space, as he does Joey enters)
Joey: So how's it going Cou-sen?
Greg: How'd you think!?
Joey: Rough day?
Greg: You, trying to be funny asshole!? The fuck, do you think?!
Joey: Jeez calm down, and don't take that tone with me.
Greg (like an emo): No one understands me.
Joey: Oh for the love of God Cousin! Those funerals today got you down, so what? I lost my dad and that fucking hurt! Some of those guys were my friends too y'know! Don't go goth on me!
Greg: The only thing I'm going to go is hard on, is your ass, if you don't shut your oversized well-hole on your face.
Joey: Are yew threating me?
Greg: Fine, if you wanna start, beat me the fuck up! Go on! I wish you died instead of George!
Joey (shocked and hurt): Yew… Yew, little shit!
(Joey throws himself on Greg and the two exchange punches, before Daz comes in and manages to separate them)
Daz: STOP THE FUCKING FIGHT ALREADY! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL GET LAKE INVOLVED!
(They hear Lake barking from downstairs, Joey falls silent but Greg merely scoffs)
Daz: So what, the flying fuck, is going on?
Joey: Greg's being a depressed asshole.
Greg: Joey's being himself.
Daz: Well I'm about to be a fucking asshole, to the pair of ya, if you doe shut your bleedin' mouths!
Joey (in southern accent): Oh I dunno Cousin Daniel, annoy me too much and I might just let your dirty little secret slip.
Daz (face paling): You woe.
Joey: I would.
Greg: Will you two quit it! You're acting like 5 year olds!
Daz: Oh just shut the bloody fuck up the pair of ya. I'm busy.
Joey: With what, may I ask?
Daz: On that dating sight ay I?
Joey: You're looking for another girl on that site after Uraz… (Receives Glares) I mean she was good… but not… well she was ugly,… no… I… well… she was a nice person… and…
Greg (cutting through his babbling): And why now?
Daz: Cause tomorrow's that day, ay it? The one, the chicks go crazy for, the one, where if you doe have a girlfriend, you'll be humiliated.
Joey: VALENTINE'S DAY!
Daz: That's the one.
Joey: Daniel, why can't yew say Valentine's Day? Where we share, harmony and love…
(Daz is gasping after these words)
Greg: What's a matter Daniel? Can't say L-O-V-E? To degrading for you? Not manly enough? Cause I certainly need some Love from you, to help me…
Joey: Okay Greg's off on a self-pity speech (as Greg goes on) so yew find a fit chick Daniel?
Daz: Getting there… trust me.
Greg: … and after George's death…
Joey: I prefer blondes myself, what about yew?
Daz: Dunno, long has she has a fanny, she's fucking mine.
Greg: … and that trauma I had to go through…
Joey: A slim… blonde haired, blue eyed girl, 2 years younger, or older than me, would be my ideal girl.
Daz: I'd have one with tits.
Joey: Care to be more specific?
Daz: Well she has to be female...
Greg: … and I have just been struggling to cope…
Joey: Okay Daz, outta Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence, who would rather get together with?
Daz: You mean bang the fuck outta? Shag?
Joey: Yeah that.
Greg… And then SPLAT! He was gone and I could do nuthin' to save him… or Lucy…
Daz: Well I'd get them both and have a threesome.
Joey: No pretend yew can only choose one.
Daz: I can't imagine that.
Greg… and that's why I really want…
Joey: Just try.
Daz: Well I…
Greg: Just a little love shown to me…
Joey and Daz: GREG, SHUT THE HELL UP!
(Greg looks annoyed)
Greg: Fine! You two blabber on about girls all you want, but I have some serious events to be recovering from. Because I have Morales and girls can wait.
Joey: Come on Greg, my blonde haired, midget cousin. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, it only comes once a year. These events come once every week.
Greg: I forgot about "romance" when I was at the funerals today, or when I watched George go Splat! Or for the past couple of months, I've forgot the notion of love after… oh let's see (pauses in mock suspension) Mary Sue and then having Frank Tibet, come after me and the Fawcett’s...
Daz: Someone get a bloody violin, see if it shuts him up.
Greg: …and I feel, that a little bit of time, to respect the memories of our dead friends… is morally right and…
Joey: Didn't yew say like a month back now, when we just escaped that posh school, that yew fancied someone a special someone?
Greg (blushing): That's about as irrelevant as Bill Clinton's antics. I mean who cares? (Gets into bed) Trust me my Cousins, this time tomorrow, after all these events that have occurred, the last thing on anyone's mind will be Valentine's day…