Suzanne: MY CAMERMAN!
(Suzanne's cameraman lies dead)
Chantelle: Ugh, typical.
Margaret: Pathetic anyway.
Taylor: No damage done, anyway...
(Reaches for controller, he suddenly realises it is gone…) wait what!?
Joey: HA! (He has snatched the switch off Taylor in the distraction and is directing the cannon elsewhere)
Taylor: NO! (Aims gun at Jason) BOY PUT THE CANNON BACK IN POSITION OR YOUR DADDY HERE, GETS IT!
Joey: Oh no, okay, okay, I'll…
Jason: SON NO! FORGET ME! I'M FINISHED!
Greg: UNCLE JASON, NO!
Jason: Be quiet Greg! Joey you press that green button, that cannon will go off, and the cannonball will land somewhere where it won't kill nobody… and after you have pressed that you run for it. Forget me.
Joey: (Teary eyed) But Old man...
Jason: This town is gonna finish me, I know it, besides once you use this cannon once, it's useless I'm betting.
(Turns to Margaret and Taylor)
Margaret: One shot was all we thought we needed, but if he fires that it will be useless for another week... and once the crowd outside realise it's useless… then… (In small voice) they'll swarm in and…
Wilhelmina: It will end for you.
Taylor: Yeah, but Joey here won't do it, he loves his daddy too much!
Joey: Dad, I can't…
Jason: Joey, listen to me! As your father! I'm commanding you, to do this!
Joey: No… I… (Cries) I need you here Dad, Were getting along, we can both live better, we have a future! Yew can't leave me here, not by myself...
Chantelle: (Impaintent) God, just do it already!
Chelsea: I know, I'm learning to run for this.
Jason: Joey, if you loved me, you'd do it.
Joey: But… Dad you're not useless, I need you.
Jason: No you don't son, your in charge of business now. Joey my man…
Jason: Remember son, you can do anything, you will go on to do great things, remember this you're on top of the world.
(With a last rueful smile to his dad, Joey presses the green button)
Taylor: NO! (Shoots Jason in the head and he dies instantly)
Joey: DAD! NO!
Greg: GUYS RUN!
(Joey throws the switch out of reach and runs… Margaret aims her gun and…)
(She is shot dead)
Saz: SUZ MY TWIN! PLEASE COME BACK!
(She is also shot dead)
Mrs Conrad: Were here! (Bursts hall door open and addresses crowd outside) what are you waiting for you useless bunch of baboons! The cannon is off! Charge in there and kill the two idiots!
(Chav gangs charge into the school)
(Half the foreigners side with Margaret and Taylor, as they are brainwashed by them, the other half flee for their lives)
Greg: Damn it! Shit is going down!
Imogen: Let's get out of here! The chavs are tearing this place apart!
Lucy: Quick let's… (Screams as Taylor grabs her by the throat)
George: NO LET HER GO!
Taylor (bloodied and crazy): NO! SHE DIES! YOU ALL DIE THIS IS NOT FALLING APART! HA! HA! I…
(These are his last words, as a second later, his head explodes, Lucy falls from his grip sickened and crawls back to George)
(Turns to see Wilhelmina with her mother's sniper rifle in hand)
Wilhelmina: Got him, mother's got his pistol though so, y’know, be careful.
Greg: WILHELMINA! WELL DONE GURL!
Wilhelmina: He was my dad, but it had to be done. As he said himself, were being too nice, real scumbags have got to die.
Lucy: Let's get out of here! Before some lunatic makes the cannon explode!
Greg: There is no way outta here!
(Door is covered by chavs and rubble as the place is falling apart, as the chavs slaughter the demented foreigners)
Joey: They could have been good, such a damn shame…
Greg: (getting emotional) I guess we might die in here guys…
Voice: Oh for cryin' out loud, heard of an air vent "Cap Pimp"?
(And Danny sits there by an air vent, grinning)
George: How'd you find us?
Danny: How could you miss this racket? Now come on let’s haul your lousy asses outta here!
(Greg, George, Joey, Imogen, Lucy and Wilhelmina are taken to safety; Mrs Conrad, Chelsea, Jaya and Thomas have already made it past the school gates)
Thomas: Where are the others?
Greg: Still in there.
Danny: Should I get them?
Wilhelmina: No way Damien, that's too risky.
Danny: You're sober and you still call me Damien?
Wilhelmina: Force of habit.
(Meanwhile back in the school, Sasha is injured and Margaret approaches her, her pistol lifted)
Margaret: (To Thin air) Imma kill this bitch, I'm gonna…
Sasha: Who the flaming hell are you talkin' too?
Margaret: It is a new trend! Do not question it! Now prepare to die!
(Without warning, she is knocked to the ground, as Melody has whacked a wooden beam across her head)
Margaret: (turning to Melody) YOU INSANE LUNATIC! YOU'LL DIE NOW!
Melody: (Smiling): No I will not, look behind you.
Margaret: Oh no… (Hears heavy breathing, she realises she has turned her back to Sasha)
(One minute later)
Margaret: (severely injured with several bones broken): YOU BITCHES! YOU'RE NOTHING! NOTHING! YOU HEAR ME! YOU'LL DIE SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY! MAYBE ONE OF YOU WILL KILL YOURSELVES! YEAH! I KNOW I WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE WITH MYSELF I LOOKED OR GENERALLY WAS, LIKE YOU PAIR!
Sasha: It's over, I gave you my "soft" beating and thank you Melody, I would have died if you hadn't had intervened.
Melody: I guess I am of use.
Margaret: YOU'RE GONNA DIE ANYWAY! I'VE STILL GOTTA GUN AND I'M GONNA PULL THE TRIGGER…
Alan: (Hearing this from nearby) No… no… n-not the trigger! (Flipping out) NO! NO MORE TRIGGER! GET AWAY FROM ME!
Margaret: What the hell is wrong with you?
Alan (seeing gun in her hand): NO! NO MORE GUNS UP MY ARSE! (Picks up metal bar) JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
Margaret: What are you doing?! What noooooooo!
(She is brutally beaten to death, by Alan with his bar)
Alan (returning to normal): Wait… wh-what did I do?
Ryan: Wow dude, you are fucking hardcore.
Alan: I am?
Aaron: Yeah ,you fucking beat that bitch to death, with only a bar.
Alan (wincing and dropping the blood stained bar): I did?
Gordon: Yeah, one of these days, you might be harder than me…
Jack: (Guffawing): Trust me Alan, that will be easy.
Florence: THY ART SEE DANNY! HE IS BY AN AIR VENT! HE IS CALLING FOR US TO ESCAPE!
Melody: Yes, Danny, William, Flynn is requesting we evacuate with him.
Sasha: Let’s get the fuck outta here then!
Priest: Wait for me!
Suzanne: And me!
Daz: Hang on doe leave me behind!
(Danny escorts them back outside, When all of the main gang are at a safe distance from the school, one of the demented foreigners presses the red button and the cannon finally explodes and the school is destroyed. Chavs still in the school are killed, the main cast watch from a distance… covered in dust and blood, with minor injuries)
Daz: Suz… and Saz…
Suzanne: My cameraman…
Joey: My daddy…
Chantelle: You know you (points at Daz) and you (points at Suzanne) should date… Daz should become your cameraman and Suzz… you'll obviously be Daz's new girlfriend and we'll see who lasts longer.
Suzanne and Daz (looking at each other): Ugh, no way!
Suzanne: To common.
Daz: To up-tight.
Chantelle: Both too picky.
Thomas: Again Chantelle, with Standards.
Imogen: Danny, I can't believe you went back for them, you had me scared to death!
Danny: Immie, I'm sorry alright, didn't know you still worried about me that much.
Imogen: Course I care about you, just because your my friend now and not by boyfriend doesn't mean I...
Mrs Conrad: (On the scene in seconds) What is this?
Danny: Erm... well Mrs Aldington, well…
Imogen: Me and Danny WERE seeing in each other throughout the past few weeks, in secret though.
Mrs Conrad (retrieving axe): Why in secret though.
Imogen: Because Mum, of what you're doing right now.
Mrs Conrad (strangling Danny against a wall, who is turning blue): I'm not doing anything out of order, Imogen. (Turns back to Danny) Did you have sex? Do you have a STD? You broke up? You broke my daughter's heart? You will die now!
Danny: No... don't I...
Imogen: Yes, our relationship was pretty good and were still friends, but no we didn't "do it" mum… and we just agreed the relationship wasn't working. so y’know, here we are… on good terms, why do break up's still have to be all doom and gloom.
Florence: BECAUSE THY ART SAID SO!
Jack: Tell me about it.
Greg: Why did you like her?
Danny: I just liked the way she was concerned about me and we hooked up she came to visit me on the streets, giving me food and all that. It's kinda nice when someone cares, so yeah after about a week or two, we kissed for the first time, and it went on from there, until a few days back. Heck, I used to watch her though the windows at school though.
Chantelle: SO THAT'S WHO YOU WERE LOOKING AT IMOGEN! BY THE WAY DANNY YOU'RE A STALKER!
Priest: Don't worry about it kid, I get paedophile thrown at me all the time.
Greg: Why couldn't you tell us Imogen?
Imogen: I just wanted it private, it was better that way. Besides I broke it off with Danny because there’s someone else I truly like, another boy.
Lucy: Well who is it?
(Pause, Imogen thinks hard and smiles)
George: Who is it then?!
Imogen: Let's just say I have someone special in mind…
(The police teams and rescue teams come in to clear up the mess that was once Greenwood and the survivors all return home, awaiting a new day)
(Thursday 10th January, the morning)
Daz: GREG’S SCHOOL'S OFF AGAIN TODAY!
Greg: Oh Goodie, one less thing to worry about.
(Goes downstairs and has breakfast)
Greg: You seen Joey, Daz?
Daz: He just lost his dad, that priest has got funerals for them later on, he left five minutes ago…
Greg: I'll go find him.
Daz: Oh and Greg.
Daz: Greg, would ya have let those people die, or have joined the EHS?
Greg: I dunno Daniel, I never got the chance to make that decision. I don't wanna think about it, Joey had to suffer, not me.
Daz: Ah well, still his got himself mountains of street cred now, he saved all us chavs from that cannon, he'll be fine.
Greg: Yeah… oh and Daz… will I ever find out your chav origins?
Daz: Maybe… y'know Greg, maybe one day I'll tell ya.
Greg: I'll be ready for it!
(Passes Lake and leaves house he looks ahead and smiles)
Greg: Joey, I'm beginning to really like you. You managed to blindly aim that cannon and no one was killed and you won't be skipping through the treetops anymore.
(Walks off and smiles at the smoking crater, all that is left of Mortdale park)
Greg: Well I guess it's the bus from now on.
(Crosses street corner and sees the chavs back up their old schemes)
Gordon: Yeah we gonna bang you out blad, I mean… erm hi Greg… well fam.
Greg: See you guys are back in business.
Aaron: And I couldn't get a court case against that wanker Mr. Rayne, apparently there were more important things to deal with.
Charmaine: I know, I feel for you.
Chantelle: What the fuck Charmaine? You care? This is new.
Charmaine: I'm having you on, I don't give a fuck.
Greg: Anyhow I'll be seeing you lot, back at school soon, I guess.
(Thomas and Jaya are talking across the street, Greg waves at the and they wave back… he reaches the church where many of the others are gathered)
(George is kneeling by three little graves)
Greg: Hey George.
(George, startled, covers the names of the graves and turns to face Greg)
George: Hey Greg, so we survived another dose of hell hey?
Greg: Yeah just wanted to drop by, you okay?
George: Fine, sorry about your Uncle.
Greg: I'll live, I'm worried about Joey though.
George: He'll be fine Greg. You know that.
Greg: Yeah, still I'll see you soon buddy.
(Greg approaches Danny and Wilhelmina who are talking)
Greg: Hey Willie… hang on you still sober?
Danny: Yup, she's taken on a vow of sobriety from now on, well partially.
Greg: SAY WHAT!?
Wilhelmina: Yeah, my parents were scum, still I can't help but feel if I wasn't so low down and such a drunk, they might not have acted so extremely. I need to stay sensible from now on Greg. Plus I have a liver I need to look after.
Wilhelmina: Oh who am I kidding! I'm gonna have the occasional drink but I'm gonna be more sensible, you get that?
Danny: Me and Wilhelmina have been talking, both killed our dad's hey, that feels pretty bad right?
Greg: You two will get through it, you're tougher than you think, no more shocks to unhinge us, right?
Greg: That's the spirit, Imma check on the others.
(He leaves, as he does Danny approaches George)
Danny: Have you told him yet?
George: No, but I swear I will alright!
Danny: You better, this is gonna come out soon and I know it, so you better do this sooner rather than later.
(He leaves, George sighs and looks down upon the graves again)
Lucy: Hey Georgie, what's up?
George: The sky.
Lucy: Oldest comeback in the book, (there is a pause) are you alright? You look sullen.
George: I'm fine, let's just get these funerals over with, hey?
Lucy: Yeah is that all that's bothering you though, nothing else to tell me?
George (lying): No, let's just go, this graveyard creeps me out.
(Meanwhile in the church)
Greg: Hey Sasha… and Alan… how y'all doing?
Sasha: Fine as always, I'm tough as nails Greg, y'all know that.
Greg: Sure do, how about you Alan?
Alan: I guess my flip outs can be scary but, maybe I can stabilise and control them, make my life better.
Greg: Yeah, good luck you two…
Richard: YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT'S…
Sasha: Oh boy here it comes.
Andrew: God I hate being here related to well... it!
Suzanne: And I'm the one always reporting on... it!
Andrew: OMG, are you a natural bitch like me?
Suzanne: Well yeah, I mean don't even get me started on…
Florence: JACK! THY ART NEED A FLOWER! NOW!
Jack: I GAVE YOU TEN ALREADY!
Florence: THEY WERE LAVENDER! I WANTED GREY!
Jack: THERE IS NO SUCH THING, AS GREY FLOWERS!
Florence: OH YOU…
Zsa Zsa (To Greg): They fight a lot but… their still adorable, right?
Greg: There just being them, life goes on.
Zsa Zsa: Yeah, my Jackie will be fine with me.
Greg: Yeah… (Thinking to self) Good luck Jack.
(He goes over to Priest and Melody)
Greg: Howdy you two.
Melody: Hello Gregory.
Priest: Hey you, I'm preparing more funerals, so, no time to talk (he scurries off)
Greg: How are you coping Melody?
Melody: I am excellent Greg and I proved myself, I know why the spirits didn't tell me anything now, they wanted me to do it myself. Not just to rely on them and I saved Sasha’s life!
Greg: Good for you.
Melody: Yep… I'm not just the fortune teller here Greg, but I am my own women, but even without the spirits. I can predict dark times ahead.
Greg: Yeah, Kyle is still out there, the final obstacle I reckon. Well, I gotta go.
Melody: See you later Greg.
Greg: See you soon.
Imogen: Hey, I saw Joey by Mortdale Castle, you better go speak to him.
Greg: I will… still… (Awkward silence between the pair)
Imogen: Anyhow I need to go… you know, get a seat.
Greg: What? Oh yeah (Laughs awkwardly)
Imogen: Be seeing you soon.
(He leaves the church and soon finds himself on top of Mortdale Castle)
Joey: (Singing to self): I'm on top, top of the world… (Noticing Greg) oh hey Cou-Sen.
Greg: What you singing?
Joey: Just a song me and my old man, used to sing when we was happy together but his dead now.
Greg: Cousin, I ain't gonna lie, it's only gonna get worse in this town, but you gotta pull through we'll all be here to help. I’ll be here to help.
Joey: I guess my old man would wanted me to go on.
Greg: Yeah he would… you know Cousin you've changed for the better.
Joey: So I've been told...
Chelsea: Well I dunno really.
Greg: Chelsea, how'd you get here?
Chelsea: Dunno, wondered off.
Joey: Didn't Helpless TA stop you?
Greg: Wait a minute, Helpless TA wasn't with you back at Greenwood! I didn't notice it till now!
Chelsea: I dunno where she has gone.
Greg: OH IN THE NAME OF SAINT PETER! HELPLESS TA HAS ESCAPED!
Helpless TA: (To thin air) I'M FREE! FREE AT FUCKING LAST! I ESCAPED IN THE SCUFFLE AT GREENWOOD AND NOBODY EVEN NOTICED I WAS MISSING WOOOOO! IN YOUR FACES BITCHES! I'M GONNA LIVE A GREAT LIFE AND… AND…
(Helpless TA pauses, at the Welcome, Graffitied as "fuck off", to Mortdale sign)
Helpless TA: But I run away from the town, I… I…
Voice: Helpless TA you have forgotten, you are helpless, you've ran all the way back to this town, because you lack any sense of direction.
(Helpless TA turns to find Mrs Conrad there with her chains)
Helpless TA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mrs Conrad: Yes.