Nul Profanities.Mature

Act 7 

(Outside Greenwich school) 

Posh Girl: Well hello, ready for another school day?

Posh Boy: Oh yes, the EHS has proved a huge help here.

Posh Girl: Yes, so many new and fresh foreign students imported here.

Posh Boy: So polite and… (Hears crashing) what is… (Turns and sees them) 

Posh Girl: Mother of God! 

(Meanwhile the Head and Deputy Head of Greenwood are in their office) 

Head: Well Honey, any sign of her? 

Deputy Head: I'm sorry Taylor, there is nothing.

Head: Well Margaret, we have to find her soon before… 

(Student bursts in)  

Margaret: You looked panicked, what is a matter darling? 

Posh Girl: THERE IS AN UNKNOWN CREATURE OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL! 

Taylor: Calm down, now what does this thing look like?

Posh Girl: It was orange... it was big… it was assaulting people, it was horrible.

(Begins to cry)

Taylor: We will confront it, do not worry yourself.

(Meanwhile at the school gates, Greenwood students are running around like headless chickens) 

Margaret: CALM DOWN! NOW WHERE IS THIS CREATURE!?

Posh Boy: MORE OF THEM HAVE COME! THERE IS A SWARM OF THEM! 

Taylor: There they are! 

(Greg and the gang are standing there, confused by the chaos) 

Chantelle: Doe see the problem here, Oi you! (To Year 7 boy) wanna have a bit of fanny!?

Posh Boy: SEE! THAT ONE IS ASSAULTING EVERYONE! 

Taylor: Relax everyone, head inside, they are not creatures, they are merely White View students.

Posh Girl: Then… why… are some of them… (barely utters next words) Chavs.

(Whole school gasps) 

Margaret: Head inside, we will deal with them. I don't know why chavs are here, but we will find out.

(School returns to normal, Margaret and Taylor approach the main group) 

Thomas: You two head of the EHS? 

Margaret: That would be us, Margaret and Taylor Fawcett, a pleasure to meet you.

Greg: You two married? 

Margaret: Correct, we became top dogs at this school, after the last headmistress was killed in the explosion at Black Crest.

Imogen: Tragic hey? 

Taylor: Indeed, hang on, I recognise you people now.

Florence: Of course you do, don't flatter me, but if you want an autograph there only… 

Jack: (Hissing): Not you Florence.

Florence: Don't be ridiculous, who else would they be addressing? 

Taylor: (To Greg) You are Greg Winters, aren't you? (Florence Scowls) Little Red Cap as you are nicknamed around here. Changing the town for the better, aren't you not? 

Greg: I guess so.

Margaret: Anyhow we know why you have come, we have been asked about it several times and I am afraid to say it is true. 

Chantelle: I KNEW IT! SO YOU ARE A DYKE THEN! 

Margaret: What? No, I'm a married woman, why would you assume that.

Chantelle: You've got short hair.

Margaret: Dear God, how Judgemental, in fact, why are you...chavs... here anyway? 

Charmaine: Nothing else to do.

Helpless TA: Literally.

Ryan: We were fucking (gasps all round at the use of profanity in these sacred grounds) bored alright, so we follow Greg around and wait for the shit (more gasps, Florence faints for dramatic effect) to go down.

Alan: I-r-really h-hope it –d-doesn't.  

Taylor: Lay off the Profanity boys, it is not accepted here. However back to the main point, I'm afraid it is the EHS, who did indeed kill the families of you Americans or did anything they could to get you over here.

Sasha: OH Y'ALL FUCKING DEAD! 

Melody: Wait one minute, if you are the head of EHS, why are you telling us this? 

Margaret: Because it was a mistake my children. I and Taylor went out to a restaurant leaving our headquarters in this school unprotected and of course she broke in, our own daughter (begins to sob) she gave all our staff in the EHS the orders to bring all the foreigners they found relatives… all sorts… and… 

Joey: Managed to get us moved here.

Taylor: By breaking businesses, killing parents… etc… it was horrible, the staff were jailed for what they did.

Sasha: Can I still kill em in Jail?

Joey: I'll join you.

Margaret: No, they are no longer an issue, she is however, our own daughter who gave the order, that's why the staff obeyed. Because they thought she was in authority and she shared our last name.

 Imogen: Where is your daughter? 

Taylor: She is hiding In Mortdale's streets, we have to find her and kill her before she does it again, or as we believe, gather the black Crestors up to finish these poor foreigners off… 

Thomas: Wait a minute? Foreigners from all over the world?

Taylor: Yes… she… we don't know how, but we reckon it has something to do with the Black Crestors. But more people from other nationalities nice, humble children are being sent to this town. 

Joey: My… God…!

Margaret: She and the Black Crestor thugs are behind it, we know it, our daughter is too far gone, to insane… she has to die… it's for the best… for everyone.

Greg: So basically, your rouge daughter broke into the school, sent a bunch of your staff to get humble children deported here and they got away with that? 

Margaret: We get a lot of money from funds, there was a lot of blackmail and bribery so that the true criminals were never convicted, or they got away with it… until we found out and had them arrested, but still… 

Thomas: Oh my God! I funded you! 

Helpless TA: THEN YOU'RE A VILLAIN TOO! HA! 

Thomas: NOOOOOOOOO! 

Imogen: Calm down, it wasn't your fault Thomas.

Thomas: I know but I can't help it.

Greg: So basically, all these murders and dodgdy business went smoothly, yada ,yada, more foreigners here. I guess y'all at this school try and make em comfortable and that's the purpose of the EHS now. 

Margaret: Yes some unfortatley get sent to other schools and are not as lucky.    

Imogen: So in a nutshell, crazy girl manages to convince well-funded organisation to get foreigners moved here by committing horrific, un-morale things, they move here. Crazy girl escapes, actual staff are arrested, but now crazy girl Is suspected and allied with Black Crestors to get more foreigners imported to kill them all….? 

Margaret: Well yes, that is it and we take the blame for failing our daughter.

Aaron: You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Greg: But they didn't do this, their daughter did, don;t worry folks we;ll deal with your daughter.

Thomas: PLOT HOLE TIME! How did your daughter just magically move "Good" foreigners here, their not all saints, what about the bad one's?

Taylor: No idea, either this town humbled them, or they got too cocky and are now in a ditch somewhere.

Aaron: I dealt with a few cocky f... I mean people yesterday. 

Joey: Guess I'm lucky, in a very strange way. 

Greg: So, now that's cleared up, what's your daughter's name ? 

Taylor: I… well… ever since the Penti-Present tournament she has changed so much.

Jack: Wait a minute… 

Greg: WILHELMINA!?

Margaret: That's her! That's our baby girl! 

Joey: The drunken chick did this! 

Greg: But she can't have done! She helped us at Christmas… and she… she said she felt like she wasn't good enough for you two, that's why she started drinking.

Taylor: That is also our fault, but I guess after seeing you, in her crazy mind she wanted more “friends” and so she… 

Imogen: So Wilhelmina did all this, to gain more friends? Screw those who had to suffer like her booze, she just wanted it and by getting it, she killed all those people.

Greg: And allied with the likes of Kyle, she switched sides.

Taylor: Yes… perhaps she thought filling the town with foreigners, would rinse of the chav stain and I'll admit the newbies are lovely, but getting them here like this… is just wrong.

Greg: I agree.

Gordon: (fan boy moment): OH MY GAWD GUYS! SO WERE GONNA SEARCH FOR AN EVIL DRUNK! THAT'S OUR MISSION! OH I'M SOOOOO EXCITED! 

(Silence within the holy grounds) 

Gordon: Sorry blads just… 

Jaya: ...high? Of course.

Joey: What the…?

Greg: Don't even bother Cousin.

Imogen: So guys, we find Wilhelmina and take her out.

Chantelle: I'm ready to go.

Taylor: Remember, she will probably be surrounded by Black Crestors, so be careful.

Jack (Guffaws): Yeah I don't think we will be.

Joey: So this is the type of shit (more gasps)

Florence: PROFANITIES! YOU STAIN THE SACRED GROUNDS!

Joey: (annoyed) Fine, so this is the kind of stuff, yew people go through.

 Greg: Pretty much.

Sasha: Well then let's get started, and hunt this (everyone looks at her) lousy, human being.

(They set off) 

The End

13 comments about this work Feed