Family IssuesMature

Act 6 

(The Next day Tuesday 8th January) 

Greg: Morin' all.

Suz: Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet up!  

Saz: Schoooooooooooooooooooooooool time!

Greg: You two, are the equal to two blaring klaxon's, you know that?

Suz: Like 

Saz: What's a  

Suz: Klaxon? 

Greg: Y'all don't even bother.

(He gets into his school uniform, as he does Jason comes down) 

Jason: Hey Greg, (groans) my head… 

Greg: Rough night? 

Jason: Yew can say that. Where's Daz? 

Greg: You calling him Daz now? 

Jason: Well Daniel, whatever.

Greg: Upstairs.

Suz: His recovering, we had a wild night. 

Saz: So did we Jasz, or should I say... Jay-soooooooooooooon! 

Jason: I'll bet we did, trouble is I barely remember any of it.

Greg: Wait a minute, were you drunk and high? 

Jason: Greg, why just get high when yew can blissfully drunk as well? 

Greg: Oh dear, well you better apologise to your son.

Jason: Wait why? What did I do? 

Saz: Oooh he had a right a little strop.

(She and Suz giggle) 

Jason: Why? What did I do? 

Greg: He was hollerin' on bout how you brought him here to avoid exactly what you were doing last night.

Jason: Oh shit I...

(Joey enters in a sullen mood) 

Jason: Joey I…!

Joey: Don't wanna hear it ol' man.

Jason: But come on, it was one night! 

Saz (unhelpfully): One of the best in my life!  

Suz: Yeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Jason: Son, I'm sorry okay… it was a time of weakness!

Joey: Will yew do it again? 

Jason: Well… probably.

Joey (in disgust): Does the word hypocrite ring a bell with yew…? 

Greg: (To Saz): His adapting so fast.

Joey: Fine if yew can do it, so can I! 

Jason: Don't yew dare! 

Joey: Or what!?

Jason: OR SO HELP ME I WILL…!

Joey: FUCK YEW DAD! YOU DON'T CARE! 

Jason: I'M AN FUCKING IDIOT OKAY JOEY! I DON'T WANT YEW GOING DOWN THE SAME ROAD! YEW KNOW IT!

(Daz stomps downstairs) 

Daz: What the fuck is all this racket about? 

Greg: Jason and Joey are debating their lifestyles.

Saz: It's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo on!

Joey: Well dad I'm going to school, don't bother speaking to me, you obviously don't care.

Jason: But Joey I… son. 

Joey: You what?

Jason: I… (Cannot say I love You Son to him) 

Greg: His tryin' to tell you, he loves you Joey.

(Saz, Suz and Daz gasp out loud and Chantelle bursts into the room) 

Jason: What the fuck! How do yew people keep busting in here? 

Chantelle: WHO CARES! EVERYONE! THERE'S INCEST GOING ON HERE! 

Charmaine (from distance): HANG ON! LET ME GET MY PHONE READY! 

Jason: NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT… I DON'T (Cannot say Love because he is too manly) MY SON IN THAT WAY! 

Chantelle: Rubbish, you two have gay sex and we'll post it under the incest section on Spank wire. 

Greg: Spank-wire does not have an incest section.

Chantelle: And how would you know that Greg? 

Greg (blushing): Err well…

Chantelle: OMG CHAR! GREG'S BEEN WATCHING PORN! 

Charmaine (arriving): THIS IS SO ON TWITTER! 

Greg: NOOOOOOO!

(Runs out of the house to escape them) 

Daz: See ya later Greg! 

Joey: I'm going to…

(Leaves house, as do Charmaine and Chantelle) 

Saz: Well that was 

Suz: Dramatic.

Jason: (In depressed tone): Joey… 

(In the treetops)

Greg: (Having escaped Chantelle and Charmaine) Joey wait up! 

(They eventually get to the front of the school)

Greg: Joey...

Joey: Greg don't check on me! I'm fine! I just didn't expect dad to turn into such an asshole.

Greg: Yeah, I wasn't gonna say that, I was gonna say, you're going the wrong way, were heading to the Greenwood area remember.?

Joey: Oh yeah, I really want to meet up with whoever brought me here now.

(They set off for Greenwood, meeting the others on the outskirts of the "posh area" they all sneak in slowly)

 

The End

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