Y'know?Mature

Act 5

George: History and Geography next.

Imogen: Oh joy.

(She, Greg, George, Lucy, Florence, Jack, Thomas, Jaya the original 8, are seated around a canteen table, joining them are Sasha, Joey, Melody and Alan). 

Thomas: Well were a 12 member team once again.

Joey: This day feels like it's dragging on forever.

Greg: Trust me, you will get used to that.

Joey: Do yew all just get used to it? Cause I really can't see myself living here, like this.

Sasha: Guess we'll have to adapt.

Alan: Y-yeah…I… g-guess s-s-so… 

Sasha: You need to gain some confidence boy, other than outrunnin' anything that moves, I still question how you are still alive. 

Alan: The trigger.

Sasha: What? 

Alan: N-nothing…  

Melody: You seem much clouded Alan Goth.

Imogen: No offence doll, but so do you, speaking to spirits I mean seriously? 

Melody: (Irritated) Yes, I can and with my help, we will solve this mystery, but I just don't get why the spirits can't tell me everything.

George: Maybe their imaginary? 

Lucy: I don't know why were all so sceptical, she could actually have this gift.

Melody: Thank you, Lucy Brown.

Lucy: Just call me Luce, I love it when Georgie calls me that.

George: Yeah… (The two lean on each other) 

Florence: Thou are so cute! Thy and Jack should be more like that, having nicknames for each other!

Jack: You have one little princess, still I can't believe my mum is teaching here, how bad is that?

Florence (ignoring Jack's whinging, on his mother being an embarrassing burden for him): Yes I am a little princess, well thank you so much Jack my handsome price, we… 

Sasha: How do y'all cope with her? (Points at Florence)

Jack: We just do.

Greg: Still were heading to Greenwood tomorrow, to find out who sent you guys here.

Joey: As much as I wanna know, can we really trust… (Indicates Melody to his left) 

Greg: Either that or school.

Joey: Fair point 

(The chavs appear) 

Ryan: Were coming too.

Thomas: You're not invited.

Aaron: Well tough shit were coming.

Thomas: I say no.

Aaron: I say yes, so that's law.

Thomas: I swear, one day I'm going to murder you Aaron, or yet you might murder me.

Aaron: Doe speak shite Thomas, ya wouldn't have a chance of killing me, I'd make your death better than the usual stabbing though, maybe I'd shoot you in head.

Thomas: I feel so honoured.

Ryan: Well it would be over quick, consider that. That's how I would wanna go. 

Imogen: Moving along, from this enlightening topic of murder, why are you guys coming?

Greg: To get Outta School I bet.

Gordon: (Currently high on his drug): Yeah mother-fuckers! We are going to solve this fucking mystery, without a fucking doubt!

Chantelle: Yeah and that the only reason, we doe kill you lot is because you give us entertaining events like this, we'll be there tomorrow.

Chelsea: Can't wait! 

Helpless TA: Oh neither can I *Please note the very obvious sarcasm* 

(Bell rings, signalling the end of lunch after a quick registration, the White View crew find themselves in history) 

Women: Hello! Were in history! Aren't you excited! 

Chelsea: Don't know how to feel excited.

Women: Well I'm Miss… 

Charmaine: Bipolar.

Women… Wellington.

Chelsea: Really? 

Miss Wellington: Ohh yes! Now shall we get down to it!? I assume you're all excited to be learning about our current topic of the Nazi Regime in Germany, now turn you textbooks to page 56, where the causes are listed starting in 1929...!

(She is speaking too fast for anyone to register her voice, expect for Thomas who is quickly making notes, the class falls into a bored slumber) 

Greg: Oh God I'm getting bored.

(Alan yawns and blinks and finds Greg beaming right in front of him) 

Alan (alarmed): Ermm Greg, w-what are you doing? 

Greg (in Richard's voice): OM-ME-D’S ME AL-DO-DO’S, IT'S MY FAVOURITE TIME OF THE DAY! 

Alan: NO! NOT THE TRIGGER PLEASE NO! 

Lucy: (Also standing up and in the voice, of one of the doctors that abused Alan in the past) YES TRIGGER TIME!

George: (Also in this voice): BEND DOWN ALAN BOY! AND LET'S GET FREAKY!

Alan: NO….! THEY SAID YOU’D GO AWAY! 

Imogen: We never go away Alan we always haunt you… we comfort you,… we like you,… we like… (pulls a gun out of her blazer) to play trigger!

Alan: NOT TRIGGER! NOT AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME! NOT AGAIN! 

Jack: Oh come on Alan boy. We really like to shove this gun up your arse!

Alan: DON'T SHOVE A GUN UP MY ARSE! PLEASE GOD, NO! (Begins to sob) 

Greg (in Richard's voice still): SO LET'S GET STARTED!

(They approach him) 

Alan: NO! (Picks up chair and begins to swipe at them with it). GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! 

Greg: (in normal voice): Alan?

(Alan blinks, his standing in the middle of the history room he has trashed, everyone is in the corners looking at him in great amount of fear) 

Alan: I… I… 

Sasha: Explain, now.

Alan: (Outburst): BACK IN AMERICA, I HAD SOME SORT OF ANXIETY DISORDER AFTER MY PARENTS DIED IN EARLIER CHILDHOOD! SO I WAS SENT TO AN ASYLUM, A CRAPPY ONE WHERE THE DOCTORS USED TO SEXUALLY ABUSE ME!! THEY USED TO SMUGGLE IN A GUN AND PLAY TRIGGER! WHERE THEY RAPED ME AND SHOVED A GUN UP PRIVATE AREAS… 

Sasha (taken aback): Right.

Alan: THEY WERE FINALLY ARRESTED, THE SICK FUCKS! BUT THEY SCARRED ME FOR LIFE! I HAVE THESE OUTBURSTS SOME TIMES! I CAN'T HELP IT! BUT SINCE I WAS SO QUIET FOR QUITE A WHILE IN THE ASYLUM I WAS DEEMED MENTALLY HEALTHY ENOUGH TO COME HERE WITH MY COUSIN, BUT THIS TOWN IS… SHIT! 

Joey: I can relate.

Alan: AND THAT'S THE REASON WHY I'M SO QUIET AND SCARED! BUT WHEN I HAVE THESE OUTBURSTS, MY ANGER COMES SPILLING OUT AND I CAN HURT PEOPLE! IT ALWAYS HAPPENS, I SEE THEM, COMING FOR ME AGAIN AND I LASH OUT AGAINST THEM!  I FEAR THEM! I HATE THEM! I… I…!

(Silence as Alan pants and looks around) 

Chantelle: Yeah but still… (Mocking his voice) don't shove a gun my arse!

Alan (back to nervous self): I S-said all that? 

George: Yeah, you gave us all a scare.

Alan: Oh w-well I-I'm sorry.

Charmaine: Well turns out there someone bipolar here after all.

Florence: THY ARE BIPOLAR TOO! 

Jack: Then that means some-times you'll suddenly just be quiet and modest.

Florence: MY BIPOLAR IS CURED! 

Jack: Like I knew it would be.

Aaron: (To Melody): Well you're not the only insane one around here.

Melody: I am not insane I am merely… 

Imogen: A girl with Schizophrenia. 

(Melody glares at her as the bell rings) 

Miss Wellington: Well despite that little surprise, I hope you all got some notes down.

Thomas: I did.

Gordon: Yeah but just you alone, fam.

Jaya: Do you feel the end to say Fam at the end of every sentence? You’re getting as irritating to me as John once was. 

Gordon: What ya gonna do about tit fam?

(Jaya glares at him) 

Gordon: Well fa… I mean well ermm… slam!

*George Faceplam* 

George: The English language is dead.

Imogen: (Nicholas Cage face) You don't say.

(They enter Geography, a women is waiting for them) 

Women: Alright guys, I'm Mrs Layton!

(Class mumbles back) 

Mrs Layton: Oh come on guys, this won't do will it! 

Aaron: It will have to do.

Lucy: Oh my God! Stephanie is that you? 

Mrs Layton: (gasps) Oh, Lucy it's you!

Chantelle: Oh doss lesson, it's you!

Imogen: Oh boy, here we go.

Lucy: So how was your summer? 

Mrs Layton: Oh my god it was brilliant, I took my husband to Majorca!

Lucy: Really I went to Majorca! 

Mrs Layton: NO! 

Lucy: YES! 

Mrs Layton: OMG! Did you go past that nudist beach… 

Lucy: OMG! YES! My two brothers tried to drag me onto it, until my mum stopped them.

Mrs Layton: Literally, I'm not joking, I got my husband on it and… 

(What was meant to be a lesson, turns into Lucy and Mrs Layton informing the whole class of their life stories ad adventures in Majorca, when the bell rings everyone leaves elated that the day is over) 

Lucy: Alright see you later Steph.

(Catches up with the others…)  

Thomas: How do you know her?

Lucy: She's my sister's boyfriend's aunt's second child's girlfriend's older brother's sister. 

Greg: Eh?

Lucy: Basically, she's my mum's friend.

George: And when did you last speak? 

Lucy: Oh only a few years back, we were catching up on old times during the lesson y’know?

Greg: Yeah we do, anyhow I guess I'll meet y'all outside Greenwood tomorrow.

Helpless TA: I'll drag Chelsea there, it's not like I have anything else to do anyway.

Chelsea: Don't be so down Helpless TA, you got me.

Helpless TA: Great, remind me how fulfilling my life is.

(They set off) 

Chantelle: Well, we will be there.

(The chavs set off, after a few goodbyes, Greg, George and Joey are back in the treetops) 

Greg: So how did you find your first day Cou-Sen? 

Joey: Mental, yew is all mental.

George: Well were back on the street now guys, nice to meet you Joey you don't seem to bad a guy.

Greg: For now.

George: Yeah whatever, anyhow I'll see you two tomorrow.

(He sets off home, leaving Greg and Joey to walk back to their own home) 

Greg: Y'aknow, George has really lightened up, when I first came here he nearly left me to die.

Joey: That's nice to know, But I just can't believe someone would actually bring me here! And what about my dad, is he still alive!? 

Greg: If you survived the first day, I'm sure he will too.

Joey: Greg, my dad moved me here, not just because our business went broke, leaving us with no other choice, but, he hoped I would start behaving. And after seeing yew people, I guess I realised how much of douche I was.

Greg: Scared straight then? First day that bad?

Joey: It's like Sasha said, I'll have to adapt, won't I? 

Greg: Yup now, let's see Jason and Daniel.

(Opens door to house. Daz and Jason are on the sofa laughing loudly and smoking weed, next to them two twin girls are rubbing against the pair, in a flirty manner)

Joey: DAD!?

Jason: JOEY! MY BOI! See, the good genes run in the family ladies.

Joey: Are you… high? 

Daz: Well nah, sit down and join in retard.

Joey: Dad, I thought yew moved me here to avoid this type of stuff! 

Jason: Oh chillax son, no harm done here? 

Joey: You're destroying yourself dad! Yew used to tell me that, whenever I reached for cigarettes… 

Jason: Times have changed. 

Joey: You… you…!

Greg: Hypocrite? 

Joey: YEAH! Dad I really thought this was gonna be a new start for me! 

Jason: Oh come on, you like this stuff right? Beating people up and smoking and hot chicks, I like it, you like it. Hence, life is solved.

Joey: I wanted change dad! I had it up to here with failing everything I touched! I wanted to be clean! Lead the business like yew had…

(Gets angry and emotional as Jason ignores him)

Joey: NOW, YOU'VE JUST FUCKED THAT UP FOR ME! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF ANYMORE! (Bursts into angry tears…) WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY TO THAT! 

(Pause)

Jason: Eh.

(Joey in his anger, stomps upstairs, Lake runs up to bite him but with a well-aimed kick Lake goes flying over the room with a whine, Joey stomps up the stairs and slams the door to the bedroom shut) 

Greg: So... his sleeping in my room tonight? 

Daz: Well who cares? 

Twin: Yeah soommmmmmmmeeeeoooooneeeeee is having a better of a temper tantrum.

(She and her twin sister giggle) 

Daz: Greg here am Saz and Suz, Suz is my girlfriend. I got Saz for Jasz. 

Jason: Yeah and ain't she fucking mint?

Saz: Ohhh yeah baby.  

Greg: So I guess y'all really called Sally and Susan?

(The twins gasp) 

Saz: Don't you

Suz: Dare 

Saz: Say

Suz: Our names

Saz: Out loud. 

Greg: Alright, jeez are you two in sync with each other or what? 

Saz and Suz: (Childish voice): Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 

Greg: And you seem really childish, were these seriously the best you could find Daniel? 

Saz: It's

Suz: Daz. 

Greg: Whatever.

Daz: Well yeah, I checked they had fanny's and there were fit Greg, so y'know? Plus they were twins, so I could get Jason a chick too, his adapting well.

Jason: Yep I am… Yew Daniel yew am good when yew think about it.

Greg: Right well I'm making my own dinner today, I'm fed up of Pot noodles and take away's and Jason, man Daniel. You got him as high as a kite it's strange to see.

Daz: Like you getting drunk?

Greg: Considering I care a great deal about my liver, I ain't drinkin' again till I'm of age, plus the hangover… 

Daz: Eh, just ride em out you pussyhole, you want some weed? 

Greg: No, one dose of gfrynmjuhskfuhdmnkghfunmfhbvnmfvhmuirjeuyhtjrfyudhjf was enough for me.

Jason: Eh wimp… (smokes a spiff) well (to Saz) come on babe. I'll show yew what my cock can really do.

(They set off upstairs, seconds later there is banging noise) 

Suz: Come on Daz, I'm getting horny over here!

Daz: Alrite. Alrite Suz, hey Greg can you check on that kid, make sure he doesn't destroy the house?

Greg: I'll check on Joey in a minute, I wanna speak to you first. (as Suz moves forward) and you alone.

Suz: AWWWWWWWWWWWW! 

Greg: Don't be so childish Suz.

Daz: Fine, but make this fucking quick.

(They enter the kitchen, where no one can overhear them) 

Greg: Daniel, it's been bothering me all day, you in Uni y'know? 

Daz: Oh fucking hell...

Greg: Daniel, I wanna know the truth, how did you turn into a chav? 

Daz: Just did.

Greg: Care to be more specific? 

Daz: Eh, no. Why the fuck you asking? 

Greg: Because sometimes I feel like I'll become a chav too and I wanna avoid that, plus its common knowledge that someone has been importing Americans here, including Joey and Jason.

Daz: And…?

Greg: Daniel when you were, "not a chav" did you carve company with normal people so badly, you'd kill for it? 

Daz: No became a chav end off. And are you saying chavs aren't normal people?

Greg: Oh for… you were a model child Daniel! I need to know the truth, It might help me figure out whose trying to import more Americans and foreigners in general over here. 

Daz: I ay discussing it Greg, there's nothing to say, now if you doe mind, I got fanny with my name written all over it.

(Leaves the kitchen) 

(Greg sighs) 

Greg (to self as he walks up the stairs): It was a nice try and all Greg, but I don't think Daniel will reveal why he changed. maybe it was similar to Steve. Heck I dunno…  

(Opens door to bedroom) 

Greg: You okay Joey?

Joey: Just go away! I don't wanna speak to anyone! 

Greg: Okay touchy… (closes door and walks downstairs he looks at the couch, with Lake resting on it) 

Greg: Well Lake I guess I'm sleeping here tonight… still what a day… 

(Lake barks to thin air, as Greg tries to sleep) 

Lake (in Dog language and too thin air): And I'm all like, Hullo! I am here! And they just be arguing about shit that doesn't concern me, I go to shut the fucker up whose making the noise, and he just kicks me like I'm dirt! Then this blonde lard, just sits his fat fucking ass, on my sofa and sleeps, If he wasn't one of my homies, I'd bite his friggin arms off. Still no one understands me, Y'know?   

The End

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