(Wednesday 8th December, once again we find our cast in the church awaiting the funerals)
Chelsea: Might as well, re-label this place setting for Act 10.
Helpless TA: Well Chelsea, you're developing common sense, maybe there is hope for me.
Asif: Asif, Helpless TA.
Thomas: I cannot believe Sanjay is gone, only two of us original nerds left, the savage nature of it all...
Asif: In the future, as a duo, we must be strong!
Thomas: WE WILL BE!
Chantelle: Whatevez, stupid morale messages said in Act 10, are never fulfilled by Act 1 in the next script, just cheesy quotes said too hog some line time, I mean seriously who does that?
Charmaine: I know right
Chantelle: Anyhow were a duo now, gonna miss Chaniqua ,but now were down to two we'll get more cock, so wanna go to Da club later? I know you ay bothered about the funerals.
Charmaine: OH MY GOD MAN, YOU LIKE, KNOW ME!
Jack: So anyhow Florence, I know this is the point where I am supposed to say something cheesy. But no doubt we'll end up bickering again this time tomorrow.
Florence: Jack, how dare you not pamper me!
Jack: Florence you're a disrespectful little…
Imogen: What break up are we on now? 2 billion and something?
Florence: Actually that’s breakup 676…
George: Lucy I just need to say this know.
Lucy: George are…
George: I NEED TO SAY I LOVE YOU!
(Whole church goes quiet)
George (embarrassed): Ermm I said I loved you.
Lucy (taking headphones off): Sorry George, couldn't hear you say that again.
George: Err, never mind. I'll tell you another time.
(Sits down rather mortified)
Gordon: OH HE JUST GOT OWNED!
Aaron: I'd bang Lucy right now.
Ryan: I would love to see you try.
John: That's fake and Gay.
Gordon: SAY SOMETHING WORTHWHILE FOR ONCE!
Imogen: Mum, it makes me nice to know you searched the whole town just to look for me, shows you do care.
Mrs Conrad: Don't be abusrd.
Jaya: It would seem, you are in denial.
Mrs Conrad: If you two don't shut up I'll be booking another two funerals.
Daz: Anyhow Greg, can't believe Aaz just died for no reason, but I got a new girlfriend, her name's Taz.
Taz: Alrite, I'm Taz, short for Tanya, but no one calls me that! God it's embarrassing!
Greg: Seems a bit girly for my liking.
Daz: Anything with female organs suits me.
Greg: So much for the search for a kind, loving women.
Imogen: Bad girlfriend in the family?
Greg: You can say that you still hanging in there?
Imogen: Greg… you know me I’ll be fine.
Greg: Yeah, but after Mr Masterbate... in that latex...
Imogen: Well thanks for the concern. But I'll live through it.
George: It was pretty bad.
(He then looks at of the window and once again spots the three, small, familiar graves. He spotted the last time he was in the church)
Lucy: You alright George?
George (gulping): Yeah (tearing his eyes from the graves) just… well still tramuizted by Mr. Masterbate's performance…
Lucy: Oh God, I'm gonna have nightmares about that for years.
(Funeral service begins)
Priest: And now we lay to rest Aaz, who we knew nothing about. still we will shall also Miss Sanjay and Chaniqua.
Mrs Conrad: How tragic *Note the sarcasm*
Priest: We will never see Miss Lofty again, or hear about her sheep, and Mr Masterbate (guffaws at the name) will be missed, well no he won't, as the children being led out of that closet now and all the trapped prisoners will probably come spit on his grave, feel free to join… I mean respect the dead!
Imogen: And learn to deal with our flaws.
Greg: Amen to that!