Mrs Conrad: YOU!
(Danny jumps, from where he was running along an alley)
Danny: What do you want? Hear to finish me off, or too get my dad to do it?
Mrs Conrad: No you pathetic street rat, have you seen any students from White View?
Danny: Are you talking about Greg? The blonde inbred, everyone at my school wishes were dead everyday?
Mrs Conrad: That would be the one.
Danny: Saw them heading back up to White View for some odd reason. Heck I'm sneaky and streetwise I see and hear everything.
Mrs Conrad: Yes whatever I'm off.
Danny: HEY! Don't I get thank you, for my efforts!?
Mrs Conrad: No, now piss off.
(Mrs Conrad returns to Daz's house)
Daz: So you day find em?
Mrs Conrad: What does it look like? It's nearly night now and there nowhere in town, so they must be back in the old white view school, like the street rat said.
Daz: Well let's go there then and check!
Mr Masterbate: Well done you two, you are the last two standing. Enter the room ahead and claim your prize!
Greg: Oh, I can't wait!
Imogen: Who’d have thought a hillbilly and the daughter of a serial killer would be the most morally correct out of everybody? Still, thanks for the price.
(They burst into a pitch black room)
(Suddenly a cage is dropped onto them, they both yelp and end up holding each other in dark)
Greg: What's Goin' on!?
(Mr Masterbate laughs, the room is lit up revealing in a luxurious bedroom, on the sides in other cages are…)
(All the other kicked off tour members are locked up)
George: What is it with us and cage's hey?
Mr Masterbate: So know, because of the instructions of my workers, You're all locked up here. In my bedroom, the final reward and treat.
Chelsea: CAN YOU EXPLAIN YOU'RE EVIL PLAN NOW!?
Mr Masterbate: Simple, get you in here, trick you and narrow you down the finest few, kill the rest or execute them later for the victor child to see, so it will break them then use the cutest and purest children as my best ever sex slaves, one's who won't cause me that much trouble.
Imogen: And me and Greg are those two “pure children” and you'll kill the rest?
Mr Masterbate: That’s pretty much the plan.
Thomas: And you taught us to be good, when you had that murderous flaw yourself. DOES THE WORD HYPOCRITE RING A BELL WITH YOU!
Mr Masterbate: That was too trick you and narrow you down, my sex slaves and workers are too terrified of me to fight back, so now I...!
Helpless TA: That is the worst and most dull, evil plot I've ever heard.
Mr Masterbate: Excuse me?
Helpless TA: An evil plot is supposed to… keep you guessing about who it is! And making it elaborate! That was so simple and obvious and… ugh.
Mr Masterbate: Well you will all be surprised that... I EARLIER CAPTURED MISS LOFTY! BECAUSE SHE WOULD NOT OBEY MY RULES AND HERE IS THE BIT WHERE YOU ALL BOW DOWN TO ME AND CRY AS I REVEAL HER CAPTURED FORM TO YOU!
(Miss Lofty's gagged body is shown to them)
Miss Lofty: Help me guys! I come down here looking for a sheep and then he ties me up and rapes me!
Mr Masterbate: Now I'Ll shut her up and show you how evil I really am!
(Produces a knife and stabs Miss Lofty in the head)
Miss Lofty: A SHEEP! A SHEEP! MY KINGDOM FOR A SHEEP!
Florence: Thy art impressed, with the Shakespeare reference in death.
Mr Masterbate: WHY AREN'T YOU SCREAMING!?
Charmaine: Who the fuck Is that anyway?
Ryan: Thank fuck, no more banging on about her sheep.
Chantelle: Unnecessary, background, teacher, with no real role, had no purpose.
Greg: Yeah, but the sheep from the Welsh valley’s, will be mourning in their thousands.
Mr Masterbate: I AM FEARED! AND A BADASS!
Greg: No y'all a sad little padeophile, who hides in his closet raping innocents.
Imogen: And Why are you evil?
Mr Masterbate: Erm... because I am!
Helpless TA: What? No depth, or motive?
Mr Masterbate: I have a high sex drive.
Ryan: Doe we all?
Helpless TA: That's it?
Mr Masterbate: Yes! I don't have to explain my motives to you!
Helpless TA: Ugh, boring.
Greg: I just don't get why people do this? With no depth behind it.
Imogen: I suppose that's why some people are called shallow.
Mr Masterbate: Very well then! If I'm failing to traumatize you right now! than this will!
(Beat starts and Mr Masterbate strips into a latex body suit)
Mr Masterbate: (Mariah Carey voice): MC, you're the place to be
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
I know that you've been waitin' for it (To Greg and Imogen)
Greg: No we've been dreadin' it, like we dread republicans.
I'm waiting too
In my imagination, I'd be all up on you
I know you got that fever for me
Hundred and two
Imogen: I do a fever watching this, for all the wrong reasons.
And boy I know I feel the same
My temperature's through the roof
Greg: So is mine, I feel like cow dung right now.
If there's a camera up in here
Then it's gonna leave with me
When I do (I do)
If there's a camera up in here
Then I'd best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
Florence: This flick on YouTube… never… (hides camera she is recording from)
Chantelle: I know should be you on Youporn, the way this is going.
Cause if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
Cause baby they be all up in my bidness
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I
Touch my body
(Greg and Imogen throw up)
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you like my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
(The song ends shortly afterwards, Everyone is horrified, after seeing Mr Masterbate, flaunt around like Miley Cyrus, while slowly stripping off, he is now naked, and has finally imprinted a sense of pure terror into his class)
Helpless TA: I will admit that was pretty traumatising.
Chelsea: I think I just lost to will to live.
Helpless TA: If only you could die though.
Thomas: We all did Chelsea.
Mr Masterbate: Oh, and to add to creepiness, I have recorded you, every resident of Mortdale for years now… (gives creepy laugh that freaks everyone out) now you two will watch as I slaughter…
Whole room: WHAT!?
Lucy: Actually there are three people.
Mr Masterbate: Three? Lucy it seems your maths is failing you there is only…
Mr Masterbate: What? I didn't request a song to be performed now!
Lucy: I keep trying to tell you guys, that you keep forgetting about Jaya.
(Cut to Jaya, not in a cage, but completely forgotten about in the corner)
Mr Masterbate: Okay what the…?
("Sweet Victory" by David Glen Eisley starts to play)
Jaya (in heavy metal voice): The winner takes all.
It's the thrill of one more kill.
The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will.(Points at herself)
Don't ever look back on the wind closing in.
The only attack were their wings on the wind.
Oh, the daydream begins....
And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah.
And it's mine for the taking; it's mine for this night
In the sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah.
And the world is mine to follow
Sweet, sweet, sweet victory. (fade)
Mr Masterbate: NO! CHILDREN CATCH HER!
Jaya: You children run… escape this closet, now is the chance free the trapped. I shall deal with this maniac.
Children: Yes miss, thank you for saving us
(They all run off, Mr Masterbate tries to stop them, but Jaya blocks him)
Mr Masterbate: FINE THEN! I WILL KILL JAYA! THEN I'LL GET ALL YOU CHILDREN!
(He charges at Jaya with a knife he had to kill Miss Lofty, but Jaya grabs him by the arm and cracks it, she looks epic, the knife falls, Jaya grabs it and stabs Mr Masterbate in the torso)
Mr Masterbate: NO- I CANNOT-BE DYING I… I... I LIKE TO RAPE CHILDREN!
(Long silence, Florence faints to add dramatic effect, which doesn't have any effect)
Imogen: Well that was, easy.
George: and anti-climactic.
Helpless TA: and over very quickly.
Greg: So urm... Jaya can you let us out of these cages? Pretty please?
Jaya (smiling): Of course.
Greg: Sorry for ignoring you all day Jaya, really we all are.
Charmaine: I'm not.
Jaya: It's okay Gregory, besides it turned out for the best in the end right?
Greg: I guess so.
John: No it's not it's fake and Gay.
Jaya: JOHN SHUT THE FUCK UP!
(Everyone is thankful for the silence that follows)
Jaya: Okay, now that's off my chest, let's help you out of these cages.
George: I still don't see how someone can be completely overlooked and ignored when there within five feet of you, during an entire day!
Imogen: Trust me, it's not that hard.
(As the last of the View Crew, are removed from the cages. Mrs Conrad and Daz burst in)
Chantelle: Notice how it's only their families that show up, coincidence? I think not.
(Mrs Conrad looks around the factory, the dead bodies of Mr Masterbate, Miss Lofty and all the cages)
Mrs Conrad: So we sneak into this school, hear Jaya's abnormally loud voice coming from this closet telling John to shut the fuck up. So inside we find some sort of factory, anyhow me and this baboon (points to Daz) located the source of the sound and see a bunch of children and prisoners heading to the closet door, saying they were caged people in this room and here we locate you. Somebody better explain… everything! Right now!
Greg: It's a very long story…