Can You Feel The One Drug That I Want?Mature

Act 8 

(Mrs Conrad bursts into the church) 

Priest: Have you come for confession? 

Mrs Conrad: No you empty headed, bible basher, they dare call a priest.

Priest: Know that was harsh.

Mrs Conrad: Have you seen Greg and his group of friends?

Priest: Eh?

Mrs Conrad: The school group, that is in here every Sunday?

Priest: (Understanding instantly) no, sorry are you planning a funeral?

Mrs Conrad: I… oh what the hell, someone has bound to have died, yes I'll plan it for tomorrow… 

(Meanwhile) 

Mr Masterbate: So where too? you 6 can decide.

Thomas: You have the bunker here? 

Mr Masterbate: Yes it's more for bombs and such and then chav hiding.

Thomas: Look, I appreciate this tour and all, but I only came back to White View, to get to my original bunker, and relive old memories.

Mr Masterbate: Look, the bunker here is similar...

Thomas: (In frustration)  I WANT TO GO BACK TO MY LITTLE BUNKER AND HIDE FROM THE CHAVS AGAIN! LIKE I ONCE WAS, AM I NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT ANYMORE? 

George: Nostalgia Thomas? 

Thomas: Yes, all I want is a quick look. 

Mr Masterbate: Relax and be brave… and… 

(Too late Thomas presses the button and elevator zooms of, only then does he realise he is the only one in it, he screams for help as the elevator whizzes him away) 

Mr Masterbate: Just my bloody luck, my children, please catch up with the elevator an remove him from the tour! 

(Beat starts) 

Lucy: These songs never stop…

(We Will Rock You By Queen starts playing)

Buddy you annoy making a big noise

Playin' in the bunker never gonna be a big man some day

You ain't no stud so get ready to face

The world with a straight face  

Because they be Kickin' your ass all over the place

Singin'

We will we will knock you

We will we will knock you

Buddy you're a young man scarred man

Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day

Yeah without a straight face

You big disgrace

In a cowardly manner all over the place

We will we will knock you (Sing it!)

We will we will knock you

Buddy you're an old man, in the bunker clan

bleeding out saying your goodbyes gonna cease to function, gonna cease to pray

You got blood on your face

You're dead in disgrace

Somebody better get your yellow streak and have it erased

We will we will knock you(Sing it!)

We will we will knock you

(Everybody)

We will we knock you

We will we will knock you
(Alright)

(Song ends) 

Mr Masterbate: So 5 of you left?

Lucy: Actually… 

Mr Masterbate: So where too Ladies and gentlemen? The tour will end soon, now were in the final 5… 

(Gordon gulps) 

Mr Masterbate: To fall now after coming this far… would be so heart wrenching.

(Gordon is shaking) 

Mr Masterbate: To fall now would ensure you a song so humiliating, and… 

Gordon: I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE, I DON'T WANT A SONG!

(Bursts into tears) 

George: Oh dear

(Gordon gets a hold of himself)

Gordon: Yeah, just high yeah.

(Children come onto the scene, a beat starts)

Gordon: What? I didn't...

Mr Masterbate: We are all fed up of your lies Gordon, this song will set you straight.

(This Is Love by Will I Am starts to play, Gordon decides to sing out to defend his case)

Gordon: Yeah well if you love it like I love it

And you feel what I feel when I take my drug in stride

If you want it like I want it

Then baby let's get some tonight

If you can deal with it, say hell yeah

(hell yeah)

Say hell yeah

(hell yeah)

And say hell yeah

(hell yeah)

This is my drug, this is my drug, this is my drug

Children: I Can't feel the drug! I Can't  feel the drug!I can't feel the drug!This is null, this is null, this is null

[Beat break]

Gordon: This drug is for the elites

Steal it in the streets

The drug I'm in a melody, I'm going to treat

The dope crusader, funky terminator

Names for my drug so don't be a hater

And the way the high street is rocking

Got me feeling, alright, cause the DJ got me walking on the ceiling (all night)

I just say fuck it, you guys are old, my drug is just gold

I filled it up stuff and then I watch it explode

If you love it like I love it

And you feel what I feel when I take my drug in stride

If you want it like I want it

Then baby let's get some tonight

If you deal with it, say hell yeah

(hell yeah)

Say hell yeah

(hell yeah)

And say hell yeah (hell yeah)

This is my drug, this is my drug, this is my drug

Children:I Can feel bull. I Can feel the bull. I Can feel the bull .This is bull, this is bull, this is bullshit

Gordon: This is drug ain't for the basics, it's a drug for the trouble

Drug for the orchestra, not for the mellow,

Love it, like something you can eat, Like a pretty petal

House beat housing,this is what we use in the ghetto 

We snort till we smashed up, snorting all night

And we rock the ghetto blaster, till our vision goes white

I sent a rocket to the globe, of the drug I just stole

I filled it up with my drug and then I watch it explode

Yeah, baby, yeah, alright

Can you feel it?

Good god, yeah, alright

Children: I can feel the bull (times 30) 

(Song ends, as Gordon breaks down and is lead off by children)

Mr Masterbate: Well he was annoying.

 Imogen: Right.

Mr Masterbate: Anyhow down to 4 seemingly faultless children.

Imogen: That can be debated. George can be heartless, I can get pretty hot headed. Lucy is a can be a man- eater and breaks hearts and Greg can be ignorant, so us 4 do have flaws…

Lucy: Actually… 

Mr Masterbate: Well you've gotten this far you four, were off to the final room… of this tour yes this will be good. We’ll just need to walk through this corridor of my prized collectables… 

(They walk along) 

Greg: Interestin' bunch of stuff you got here.

Mr Masterbate: Thank you but don't touch anything.

Imogen: It's tempting to touch that ball made of sweets.

Mr Masterbate: I know but...

 George: Ermm Guys? 

Lucy: What have you… oh dear, ermm Guys? 

Imogen: Oh what have you two… oh dear. 

(George and Lucy have let their curiosity, get the better of them and their hands are glued to a giant gumball)  

Lucy: Why on earth is there a giant gumball here? 

Mr Masterbate: Well it's just everyone has too have one, be lucky you didn't get crushed by my giant rubber band ball. 

George: Ouch.

Mr Masterbate: Yes ouch I'm afraid you're nosy natures have stopped you two reaching the final room and a lesson needs to be learned. 

(Beat begins) 

Mr Masterbate: This will reference you're problems

Lucy: We don't have problems!

George: I don't want a song, this is degrading, I mean Lucy may have deserve one but...

Lucy: What?

George: Well, not being mean or anything but you are quite naive.

Lucy: Well, not being mean or anything but you were the one who touched this thing in the first place!

George: Don't blame me! You came over here too...!

(You're the One That I Want from Grease, begins to play, George and Lucy do the singing themselves)

George: I got chills

They're multiplying

And I'm losing self control

Cause the anger you're supplying

It's intensifying!

 

Lucy: You better wake up'

Cause I need a ban

We need to be apart before I leap on you

You better make up

You better make amends

To be smart  I must advise you move.

Nothing left

George and Lucy: Nothing left for me and you

You're the one that's arrogant

Oo-oo-oo, honey

The one that's arrogant

Oo-oo-oo, honey

The one that I want to bleed

Oo-oo-oo, the one I bleed

Oh, yes indeed

Lucy: If you're filled

With rejection 

You're to shy, to disobey 

Better take off  in another direction

Feel your way


George: I better make up'

Cause you need a ban

Lucy: I need a ban

George: That can keep me outta sight.

I better make up

If I'm gonna prove

Lucy: You better move

George: That my argument is justified

Lucy: Are you sure?

George: Yes I'm sure now and go die

George and Lucy: You're the one that's arrogant

Oo-oo-oo, honey

The one that's arrogant

Oo-oo-oo, honey

The one that's arrogant

Oo-oo-oo,

the one I bleed

Oh, yes indeed


(They finish ranting at each other, and calm down slightly) 

Lucy: I am so embarrassed, this reminds me of the one time my auntie's, cousins, sister's boyfriend, who saw a cloud and that same cloud was seen by a guy in Japan, and his, friend's sister's dog's owner's wild dog, who met a horse. Whose horse's owner. Brother's wife was on stage and she… 

(She continues to babble as the children try to pry the two off the gumball)

George: Guess were both stupid huh?

Lucy: Yeah, sorry George, I like you really. 

George: I know, I know...

Greg: Well, we will see you in a bit George, now come on Imogen, let's see this "final room" Sir is on about.

Mr Masterbate: (Sinister Grin)  It will be a treat.

(Imogen, Greg and Mr Masterbate walk on towards the final room). 

The End

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