Still Alive At Work FiveMature

A "filler" work.
Greg and Co decide to check up on White View, only to discover something they shouldn't have, and one by one they lose their dignity in the forms of cleverly crafted songs to highlight their flaws.

Act 1

(Monday 6th December) 

Daz: Morning Greg… 

Greg: Morning Daniel, what are you doing, reading? 

Daz: I can read you know, but don't tell anyone else that.

Greg: Why?

Daz: Can't be seen reading it's... well...

Greg: Nerdy.

Daz: Yeah

Greg: I remember now, you read that newspaper about the Penti-Present… (Stops at the memory of it) 

Daz: Greg I would give a heart to heart with you right now, about how you lost your friend and I lost my girlfriend, but...

Greg: I get it you're a chav and don't do that rubbish.

Daz: ...you're gonna be late for school.

Greg: SHIT! 

(Bolts out of the house, as if electrocuted, jumping over beer cans and Lake)   

Greg: See ya later Daniel! 

(Closes door and sets out, he reaches St. Amanda's, but finds a large crowd around the front gate) 

Greg and Random Slag in the Crowd: WHAT'S GOING ON!?

Mrs Conrad: Right all of you pathetic carbon clones of society, shut up, so I don't have idiots screaming at me the fairly obvious! 

(Everyone turns to Greg and Random Slag in the crowd) 

Greg: Oh come on.

Mrs Conrad: Right, due to the fact the staff here are thinly spaced out...

Miss Lofty: It's been stressful.

Mr Masterbate: Yes, we feel rather personally that… 

Mrs Conrad: … We cannot teach of all your subjects, because somehow, despite everything that has happened over these last few weeks, there are still an annoying amount of you left. 

Richard: How Insensitives I mean like seriouslies.

Mrs Conrad: So I can confirm, that we'll be back at White View in January. With several new staff and with our old building back of course.

Imogen: Well looks like term's up.

Sanjay:(Excitedly) Yes! Freedom! No more oppressive school or bunker! 

Mrs Conrad: So for now, the Christmas holidays have begun! Now please go home, before I have the misfortune of congratulating anyone.

 Andrew: I am also above congratulating people.

(Everyone leaves the school, rather elated at the news)

George: GREG! GREG! Miss Lofty just told me that we go back to school on the 7th January, so we have a fair few weeks off! 

Greg: GREAT! Oh, I hope we finally get do something peaceful in this town, with Christmas coming and all… 

(Chantelle bursts out laughing) 

Greg: What? 

Chantelle: Peaceful Christmas, LOL like that will happen. 

Chaniqua: Remember last year's Christmas party, Chaz?

Chantelle: It was the fucking bomb.

Charmaine: Yeah it was.

Greg: Was it? 

George: In terms of the damage afterwards, yes it was.

Greg: Why what happened? 

George: There was an elephant, a wind machine, lots of booze, a few knives. Not to mention Florence's famous Christmas decorations, that usually blind the population of Mortdale and Chelsea was there.

Greg: Sounds likes more trouble than a infestation of termites. 

Thomas: Even in the bunker we could hear it and feel the vibrations. (Shudders)  

Aaron: Well I fucking loved it.

 John: It was fake and gay.

Jack: Going to say something else, any-time soon John? 

John: That's fake and gay.

Florence: THOU ART FAKE AND GAY!

John: You're fake and gay.

Thomas: There has got to be a way to make John stop!

Ryan: Believe me I've tried, there is no way.

Asif: As-if, there must be something!

Sanjay: Can we all agree it's a hopeless cause?

Imogen: (wearily) Agreed.

Lucy: Reminds me of the one time, when my step sister's, friend's, rock's, cat's, girlfriend… 

Chelsea: Rock's, cat's girlfriends? You don't make no sense Lucy.  

Helpless TA: Does the word hypocrite ring a bell with you? 

John: That's fake and Gay.

Gordon: (bursting out) NO IT'S NOT! 

(The usual silence follows this) 

Imogen: Does these silences always occur after Gordon's outbursts? 

Jack: Pretty much.

 Gordon: I was high blads, you get where I coming from fam! 

Sanjay: From Fam? English language fail. God this town drives me mad. One day I will break free, or destroy this town.

Jack: Gordon's excuse always follows the outburst.

Imogen: Understood.

Lucy: Well come on guys, time is passing, let's go hang out somewhere.

Greg: Where we can hang out in Mortdale, without being abused? 

Lucy: Pizza hut? 

George: Why there? 

Lucy: Why not? 

George: Okie dokie then let's go.

(The group sets off) 

The End

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