Daz: (By school gates): ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?
Greg: Daz I'm sorry, but Caz planned to kill us all along, she was seen with the board.
(Ambulances are outside the school, everyone is being patched up).
Daz: (sighing) Ah well, plenty of fish left in the sea.
Greg: Daz you have appalling taste for Girlfriends, why do you always pick the murders the HIV positives and the one's that put the world's food resources on the line.
Daz: Ay my fault, but ya know Greg I feel like I've been ignoring ya for the past couple of days...
Greg: You've realised I'm here now?
Daz: ...but next time I promise to get a better girlfriend.
Greg: Thank God.
(Goes over to Mary-Sue)
Mary-Sue: So shall we (giggles) make love now Greg?
Greg: Yeah. Hang on.
(He closes ambulance doors)
Greg: Were alone now.
Mary-Sue (slightly freaky voice): Oh I've been waiting for this.
Greg: Imma a little nervous, it's my first time.
Mary-Sue: Don't be, embrace me…
(They begin to make out and are peeling off each other's clothes and getting close to having sex when the ambulance doors fly open).
Chantelle: (In a voice that alerts the whole of Mortdale) THEIR IN HERE GUYS!
Greg: (Half naked): AHH! GET OUT!
Charmaine: Doe mind us, in fact carry on we doe mind.
Chaniqua: I'll get the camera so this goes on Red tube.
Chantelle: And I'll join in.
Greg: NO DON'T YOU DARE IN THE NAME OF ST. DAVID!
Chantelle: He sounds like a stud.
Greg: (changing topic) Anyhow what are you even here for?
Chantelle: What? oh yeah, school meeting over there (points next to front entrance of White View)
(Minutes later the school have surrounded the head Mrs Conrad)
Mrs Conrad: … and in light of events today, everyone may go home early.
(Cheers, pupils leave with their families)
Greg: Great an extended weekend.
Helpless TA: Ryan and Asif have been discussing a celebration fit for us. So eventually I decided on Felicity Crafts theme park.
George: OH MY GOD COULD THIS DAY GET ANY BETTER!
Mrs Conrad: I'm not going, Helpless TA will escort you there for a two day stay.
George: You're actually letting us go?
Mrs Conrad: Yes, a two day break from you, would award me, more than you.
Thomas: and Helpless TA has paid for us all to stop there for the until Saturday night.
Helpless TA: See I ain't helpless, and this will be a great celebration for us all.
Mrs Conrad: But do you know how to control the class now?
Helpless TA: I told you, I will do my very best!
Sanjay: Finally we can take a break away from Mortdale.
Greg: (to George) hang on, you said no one could leave Mortdale?
George: Permanently, the chavs won't mind us gone for 2 days Greg. Add to the fact they'll be glad to see you gone anyhow.
Greg: Well I guess that makes sense.
Mary-Sue: Oh GREG THIS WILL BE GREAT!
Mrs Conrad: Well we have contacted your parents and guardians and they have approved, and I assume you will.
Imogen: I don't wanna go with them!
Mrs Conrad: Shut up foolish girl! I said you could go now go already.
Imogen: (to class) Aren't any of you a little wary?
(People begin getting onto Coach that will take them to the theme park)
Daz (to a crowd of people): I'm so p-proud of (sobs) my nephew-Greg his gonna back-b-ack n-no longer a-v-virgin.
Greg: SEE YOU ON SUNDAY DAZ!
Daz: SEE YA SOON MY MAN! (Turns back to the crowd) so any of the birds in this crowd wanna be my next girlfriend?
Random Slag in the Crowd: NO! Are you joking me! Last three girlfriends ended up dead!
Caz’s mum: It all ends happily for everyone but us.
Caz’s Dad: I can't believe our little girl went mad, and is now dead it is too upsetting.
Caz’s mum: NOT THAT YOU IDIOT! The fact she was dating a lower class piece of trash is what is upsetting me.
Caz's Dad: Oh err… Yes me too, that Winters kid seems like nothing but trouble…
(Coach drives out of Mortdale)
Greg: Now this is the life.
Imogen: Get a hold of yourself asshole.
Greg: You still here?
Imogen: Yes regrettably.
Greg: Go away, we don’t want you here.
Imogen: Is anybody on this coach, other than me, think that just because Caz was holding the board, that automatically makes her the murderer.
George: Yes, she found the board in the school and used it against us. But she died before she could reveal the whole evil plot. Actually thank your mum for that, I was fed up of listening to evil plans.
Imogen: Okay, let's think this though, why and how did she do it?
George: Simple, she was an expectation and hated life here so she sought revenge.
Imogen: But why take a break between Monday to Friday? Don't you think she was a bit too easily caught to be realistic?
Greg: I'm bored of this I'm going to the toilet.
Mary-Sue: Be back soon honey…
(Greg goes to the toilet and on the way back…)
Helpless TA: How you doing Greg?
Greg: Fine thanks.
(He returns to his seat)
Greg: Hello again darling.
Mary-Sue: Hey Greg… you had a nice… toilet visit.
Greg: Yes it was err, great.
Mary Sue: So I have just been looking at google maps on my phone.
Greg: Have you I…
Mary Sue: Google Maps says it would take you 11 seconds to get to the toilet, 14 seconds to urinate, and then 11 to return, so overall your trip should have taken 36 seconds.
Mary-Sue: You're trip took 38 seconds.
Mary-Sue: Who is she?
Greg: What!? Nobody! I just stopped to talk with Helpless TA.
Mary-Sue: Oh did you?
Greg: Yeah darlin' nothing to worry about.
Imogen: Like I said she's a loony.
Greg: Please go away, whoever you are.
(Imogen begins to babble)
Greg: So this is how today ends…
(Waits for script to finish on that note)
Greg: Erm... okay… finish.
(Script is obviously continuing)
Greg: Why isn't it stopping!?
Chelsea: Because were in Act 8 and it's supposed to finish at Act 10.
Thomas: Well pointed out.
Imogen: This means the tale hasn't finished, it's still going, this means that…
(Everyone sticks earphones in)
Mary-Sue: Sex scene for me and Greg.
Ryan: And me and Chantelle!
Gordon: I WANT A SEX SCENE!
Asif: Asif you'll get one.
Jack: Guys let's just shut up, settle down and try to relax.
Florence: I can't actually believe I'm saying this... BUT EVERYONE CHILL OUT!
(You may record this quote in History)
Imogen: Well that was strange still…
George: Oh lighten up, stop giving me that look.
Imogen: What “Look”?
George: The same sort of look Greg used to give people back when he first started here.
Greg: That feels like a lifetime ago.
John: No need to be so moody and troll like Imogen.
Thomas: Bell hypocrite ring, you with?
Jaya: Rearranging the words fails also.
(After a half a day's drive, they arrive at Felicity Crafts theme park in the evening)
(After riding a few rides, everyone is having a blast, expect for Imogen. As the park rides shut late in the evening, the group retire to the hotel)
Helpless TA: Nice to see everyone is having fun!
Aaron (Drunk): DON'T TALK ABOUT MY WIFE LIKE THAT YOU BASTARD!
(Scaring visitors off)
Mary-Sue: Gregory you're two seconds late!
Greg: Sorry was just hanging with George, why have you turned so possessive of me lately?
Mary-Sue: Oh I do apologise Greg, it's just the incident back at school and I thought I'd lose you.
Greg: Oh Mary I can never be mad at you, you're too good for me.
Mary-Sue: Come Greg let's go upstairs.
Imogen: Is anyone other than me still pondering on what happened back at the school. I mean seriously what…
(She nags on before Greg loses his cool and punches her across the face).
Greg: OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHUT UP BITCH! COME ON MARY LET'S GO!
(They go, Mary tosses Imogen a bitchy look before departing with Greg)
(Imogen is stunned)
Jack: Well you had it coming to you.
Chantelle: Yeah God no one likes ya!
(Imogen runs off holding her bleeding jaw)
Charmaine: Now look what you've done.
Thomas: I know, bullying should never be tolerated.
Charmaine: Not that, I wanted to bully her too but Chantelle scared her off.
Chantelle: Soz, babe could not resist.
Ryan: I can't resist a shag right now come on babe.
(They go upstairs)
Helpless TA: Remember to beh… (Sounds of crashing, screaming, humping and somehow an elephant from the hotel floors above).
Helpless TA: I don't know why I bother, oh no Chelsea remember to breathe in… and out… and in…