The Kleptomaniac And The ShadowMature

Act 6 

Scene 1

(March 6th) 

(Danny is still on guard, slowly dozing off, as dawn draws forever closer, still as of now, he gazes at the stars and slowly begins to fall asleep when…) 

Wilhelmina: BOO! 

Danny: (Alarmed) HOLY CRAP! (Turns to see Wilhelmina, bent over in laughter) oh look what the cat dragged in.

Wilhelmina: And look what the rat shat out.

Danny: Is that supposed to be an insult? Well it failed.

Wilhelmina: Like your mother's abortion.

Danny: And like your Dad's condom, still what are you doing here?

(Wilhelmina sighs loudly) 

Wilhelmina: Are we just gonna ignore what Zsa Zsa said before she died? 

Danny: There's nothing to talk about.

Wilhelmina: Really, because I told Florence about it today.

Danny: Brilliant, tell motor mouth over there, she'll tell the whole group were having an affair… or worse.

Wilhelmina: Actually, she said the same thing as Zsa Zsa did, which has got me thinking… maybe Zsa Zsa was right.

Danny: Maybe you're all wrong.

Wilhelmina: Maybe you're denying the truth, hell were on at each other all the time, you know. I think I do it sometimes just to wind you up.

Danny: (sarcastically) Really? 

Wilhelmina: Yeah, but I like to wind you up, to see how you react, maybe I like you more than I let on, because I keep on seeking your company, even if it is for an argument.

Danny: (after a long pause) If you came here, for a heart to heart, you ain't getting one. I don't do that shit.

Wilhelmina: I gathered that you're not a very open and loving person but give me something to work with? 

Danny: What are you my psychiatrist? No I'm not opening myself up to you or anyone what's the point? Everyone I care about dies anyway.

Wilhelmina: Yeah well, I've lost people I care about to! 

Danny: I grew up with the world's shittest father, my little sisters and my mum were innocent and I knew I had to do right and protect them, acting like a chav to please my dad and fit into the rough area. I thought in the end I'd be rewarded!  My mum would leave my dad, we'd all be safe! The Penti present tourmenent was my chance to get that money and get me and my family outta Mortdale!

(Grunts in anger)

Danny: But no, once I failed, that's it, my family are killed! I let out what was on my chest and I got no reward, my family are killed… 

Wilhelmina: Oh-kay.

Danny: And I realise, no happy ending for me, no reward for being someone I'm not! Doing so much, to save mum and my little sisters and nothing! Fuck all! I could only think about killing dad for revenge and then escaping the town, even if it meant posing as someone else! I'd do it! Because I know I'm an asshole and I have good reason to be! 

Wilhelmina: What happened to not opening up, hey? You did there.

Danny: I… i… I just got pissed off, I didn't know what I saying.

Wilhelmina: You did, you know, I think I try too hard most of the time, to be the opposite of what my parents were, like you, after the Penti Present tournament, things went tits up… 

Danny (covering his ears): Oh shut up! I don't need to listen to this.

Wilhelmina: Only trying to generate friendly conversation.

Danny: Well stop.

Wilhelmina: Or what? You'll use your amazing robbery skills, to steal a gun from Mrs Conrad and gun me down? 

Danny:  (Venting out in frustration) My thieving isn't a fucking skill alright! I'm a klemo! 

(Long pause) 

Wilhelmina: What, a klemo as in Kleptomaniac? (Danny nods) Isn't that a… a… 

Danny: A mental disorder, yes, I'm fucking mental, alright!? That's what you want to hear? 

Wilhelmina: Isn't Kleptomania when…? 

Danny: You have uncontrollable impulses, to steal things? Yeah it is. I've been stealing stuff since I was 5, diagnosed when I was 10. Used that "disorder" to my advantage since then.

Wilhelmina: Why don't you tell anyone? 

Danny: I can't resist stealing things? That I'm a kleptomaniac? I don't want anyone thinking I'm a lunatic.

Wilhelmina: If it helps, I don't think you're mad, I just think you're an asshole.

Danny: Yeah thanks, just… don't tell anyone.

Wilhelmina: I won't. I promise.

Danny: I don't believe that.

Wilhelmina: Watch me… 

(The conversation ends there, as the night goes on everyone wakes up refreshed in the morning) 

Auntie Jeana: PACK YA STUFF ON WE GO! 

Greg: Sixth day, wonder how far we are from Mortdale?

Mrs Layton: Far, still today… were heading north again.

Imogen: Stating the obvious.

(The group begin to walk, as they do Eric suddenly bends over and throws up) 

Imogen: Dad? 

Mrs Conrad: What's a matter Eric? 

Eric (wiping vomit off his mouth): N-nothing… just aw god, it was that food they gave us. I can tell… my stomach feels funny.

Joey: I ain't feeling to hot either.

Charlie: Hey, Joey you got… got… advice… to… st… stop food poisoning… be… because… (he gets no further, he throws up violently on the ground, after he does that, his shaking form collapses) 

Joey: SHIT! CHARLIE! (Lifts him up) his got a bad fever… fuck!

Mrs Layton: Must have been that canned food from yesterday, it was out of date, since Charlie's the youngest of us and has the weakest immune system, his suffering the worst.

Helpless TA: God damn cannibals, they sold us poison! 

Daz: But it was still food.

Suzanne: That's true Dan.

(She and Daz are holding hands, confirming their status as a couple to the group) 

Mrs Conrad: I don't care if it's food, I would rather eat people than this canned crap.

Eric: Don't say that hon… 

Gordon: (quaking voice) I- h-hope we use we reach the b-bunker soon or because our food is running real low.

Greg: Then we'd forced to become cannibals.

Imogen: Ugh…  I couldn't imagine that, I'd rather die, than eat somebody.

Florence: It's a Disgusting thought.

Mr Tedious: Still if push came to shove, we'd all know who we would eat.

(All eyes find Danny) 

Danny: What? What have I done now? 

Charmaine: Oh nom, nom, I could eat you sexy.

Danny: Ugh God, not this again.

Charmaine: Yeah this again, in fact I think you're fit, wanna go out?

Danny: In the middle of this? Yeah, no thanks.

Suzanne: But me and Dan here are giving it a go, why not you? Why are you always so snappy? 

Wilhelmina: Because his a natural asshole, end of discussion.

Charmaine (getting teary eyed): So you're rejecting me? I'm not good enough for you? 

Danny: Obviously, you're just a ugly, little, whore who I wouldn't shag even if you were the last women on earth.

(Charmaine bursts into tears) 

Danny: Christ, how pathetic.

Chantelle: Doe get upset bab, I'll hold him down and you shag him, then that will make it better.

Joey: Sex doesn't solve everything.

Chantelle: Did I really just hear that? Coming from a 16 year old hormonal boy's mouth? 

Joey: Look I know a lot about girls, and I know sex don't solve everything.

Chantelle: But it solves most things.

Joey: Yew are just so messed up in the head.

(Charmaine wails loudly at this point) 

Charmaine: I just w-want a boyfriend for once, that will last more than a night. Someone who cares… 

Danny: Well I don't.

Mr Tedious (angry): Alright listen here you cocky son of a bitch! (Grabs him by the scruff of the neck) Charmaine here has actually made effort with you and you break that poor girl's heart? What sort of fucked up monster are you!? You don't know how lucky you are a girl even has interest in you! 

Danny: Lucky?! She desperate and she actually has a heart? I never knew.

(Mr Tedious loses his cool and punches Danny across the face) 


Mrs Conrad: KICK HIS ASS! 

Imogen: (looks around at everyone, who are simply watching the brawl, she sighs) so anyone gonna… (Pause) oh fine. I'll break it up… as usual… 

Greg (rushing to her aid): No Imogen, I'll do it.

Chantelle: Quick to offer your support there Greg.

(Greg ignores her and gets between the quarrying pair, however he ends up punched in the face in the scuffle, but he tears the two apart) 

Greg: Fuck, why did you punch me?! 

Imogen: Now you know what it feels like Greg, hey? 

Greg: How did you live with me, when I was such an asshole? 

Imogen: You were worth it.

(At this point Chantelle wolf whistles at the pair, causing them to blush again and causing a sobbing Charmaine to smile) 

Mr Tedious: You stay the hell away from us, you fucking wanker! 

Danny: Just saying it like it is! You all can't handle the truth, I don't care if you beat me because I know what's coming! That's why I'm going to survive,  because I expect the worst! 

Mr Tedious: Or someone might just “accidentally” shoot you here, and I would root them on! (to Charmaine) come on, he is not worthy of you (back to Danny) you still the hell away from me! And us, you hear! 

Danny: Loud and clear! Glad to be distant from all of you.

Chantelle: No one hear likes ya! Even I'm considering not shagging ya! 

Chelsea: Never heard Chantelle say that before, this must be serious.

Helpless TA: Damn straight it is.

Eric: Look guys, can we settle down, if that's not too much to ask? 

(They continue to trek onwards, for a few hours during this time Charlie wakes up again although in a weak state and it's clear the group are getting weaker and as the group ponder on a bleak future, all their trains of thought are interrupted as Jack swipes Auntie Jeana's shotgun out of her fingers and fires into the distance) 

Auntie Jeana: WHAT AM YA DOING!? 

Jack: There's someone over there! Someone watching us! 

Joey: What? 

Gordon: I saw them for a second too, t-they looked like they were recording us with a camera or something.

Mrs Conrad: Which way did they go? 

Jack: Went behind that building in the distance.

Mrs Conrad: Building? 

Mrs Layton: Wait a second… (pulls out map) we've made it Liverpool, on this map and these buildings are still standing, so this must be… 

Greg: What's left of the city… Christ almighty.

Imogen: No scousers around.

Charlie: There's nobody around.

Jack: Other than the person who was spying on us. (He turns to Aaron) Hey, twat! You recording back there!?

Aaron: Yeah and don't call me a fucking twat… 

Jack: Give me the camera!

(Aaron refuses and then Jack actually pulls the gun on him a shocked Aaron, who gives him the camera, as the group goes silent in shock, however when Jack gets the camera he carries on as if nothing had happened) 

Florence: Jack… 

(Jack ignores her and rewinds Aaron's camera and it does show…) 

Jack: Look there! 

(The group look, as he pauses it and do indeed see a shadow of a person in the distance watching them, seemingly recording them onto a camera, just like Aaron is, upon Jack's spot, the shadow scurries behind a large building) 

Jack: (Thrusting camera back at Aaron) brilliant, with have a shadow watching us… stalking us! 

(Just then the Walkie Talkie comes to life) 

Greg: You again.

TPM: Yep only me, just a quick warning Roger's men are approaching, well off you go run again.

Greg: So is this how you're spying on us, someone recording us in the distance, is that how Roger and his men found us?!

TPM: That shadow? Must be one of Roger's men, either way I'm not watching you from wherever the shadow is and whoever he or she is.

Greg: I bet you're lying! 

TPM: Nope, that's the truth, in fact to prove it, you may want to check your back pocket.

(Slowly, Greg does so and pulls out another scribbled note) 

Greg: How the fuck…? 

TPM: See? How could any shadow that far from you, drop that note into your pocket and then sneak off, tell me? 

Gordon: T-they m-must h-have snuck u-up on us! 

Jack: Bullshit! There's a traitor in this group and we all know it! 

Imogen: CALM DOWN! Jeez, Greg what's on the note? 

Greg: (reading out as the Walkie Talkie goes dead)

You once had a girl called Melody 

who predicted Trouble ahead and to fix it.

You must run little one's.

Before Roger and his men nut you one.

But remember the prophecy Melody made.

It is the fate of Greg, which for the moment, is merely delayed.

Imogen: Another warning then.

Greg: Yeah and what did Melody say again? 

Aaron: I could show ya… 


(They all turn to see Roger's men running towards them) 

Mrs Layton: They don't give us a break, do they?! 

Joey: Never mind that, run!  

(The group run, weary and exhausted) 

Auntie Jeana (panting): We are all so screwed! 

Eric (still suffering from food poisoning): I can't go on like this Helen…

Mrs Conrad: Well we have guns, we'll spilt into groups so they can't get us all and we get them into narrow alley's. With these building still standing, we run and we fight! We'll meet north of the town, for those of us that survive this! 

Mrs Layton: Wait! There are so many things that can go wrong with… 

(She gets no further, Roger's men are nearly upon them, they spilt up quickly as the guns are passed around and the group flee in separate directions) 

(Greg, Daz, Suzanne, Imogen, Thomas, Jaya Eric and Mrs Conrad head down to the subway with Mrs Conrad possessing the group's gun) 

Greg: The subway, seriously?! 

Mrs Conrad: It's dark down there and we can get around faster! 

(Meanwhile Mr Tedious, Charmaine, Chantelle and Mrs Layton head towards a ruined hospital, with Mr Tedious wielding the group's gun) 

Mrs Layton: Okay guys, we'll hide in here and then head straight north…

(Meanwhile Aaron, Gordon, Auntie Jeana, Chelsea, Helpless TA head into an old warehouse with Auntie Jeana wielding the group's gun) 

Auntie Jeana: COME ON YOU LOT! 

(Elsewhere Joey and Charlie run into a destroyed football stadium without a gun, Jack and Florence run down an ally also alone and without a gun, while Danny is alone as is Wilhelmina)

One of Roger's men: Sir they spilt up! Do we go after the winters, we don't know which group they went into! Or do we kill the rest!?

Roger: Spilt up men! Kill all of em, just to be sure remember we can't let that Winters kid get to that bunker! 

(The hunt begins) 

The End

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