Auntie Jeana: Everyone alright!
Mrs Conrad: Why bother asking at all? A fall like that was quite a distance, but not enough to kill someone, look everyone is up and about.
Auntie Jeana: I have eyes love.
Mrs Conrad: Do you? Well you clearly fail to use them properly.
Auntie Jeana: Honey, don't even go there…!
Eric (quickly stepping between them, to stop the brewing destruction) ladies, ladies… please. Let's just calm down and get our bearings, we can't be fighting right now.
Mrs Conrad: Right you are… but I still don't like you.
Auntie Jeana: Right back at ya!
Eric: So is anyone hurt!
(Everyone is fine of course…)
Florence: THOU ART DEAD! THY RIBS ARE CRACKED!
Jack (boredly) Well Florence is fine then.
Gordon: (crying): I stubbed my toeeeeeeeee!
Mrs Conrad (as Eric attends to his wound) are you fucking serious?
Gordon: IT HURTS!
Mrs Conrad: So do my ears, yet I have to put up with the pain.
Miss Wellington: Right were in the library. I'm going to go see if I can find any books on this bunker get us more info.
Mr Tedious: Don't wander off too far, okay!?
Miss Wellington: I'll be fine honey, you know me.
(Mr Tedious smiles at her, as she skips off)
Charmaine: You really like her, doe ya?
Mr Tedious: I can't explain it… love just happens… you just know, it's meant to be.
Mr Tedious: You got a crush?
Charmaine: Yeah. But he ain't Bovvered with me.
Mr Tedious: Danny?
Mr Tedious: Well it's obvious why it doesn't work between you two, his the most arrogant git to walk the earth and you just don't seem to care about anyone, so his only treating you how you treat others.
Charmaine: But yow doe make effort with people, how…?
Mr Tedious: Did I get Margaret, well she was desparate, but to keep her I had to… buy her things. Like flowers and chocolate (shivers) hard work, but it shows. I'll do things for her I wouldn't do for others, it shows that I truly care, I guess.
Charmaine: Well…Mr Tedious: Look if you gonna make… (Spits the word out) effort. With that Danny kid, god knows why, but don't beat yourself up too bad, you're not the only one with the problem, remember?
Imogen: How you holding up?
Greg? Greg: Leg's still sore, but I'm okay.
Imogen: That was a rough landing, what happened there Chelsea?
Chelsea: Dunno… I just remember falling.
Helpless TA: Well that sucks however, I can't believe I'm gonna say this. But I guess I'm proud of you for getting us outta there… even if for a second back there, I wanted to die.
Imogen: I could say the same about you Helpless TA.
Helpless TA: Say what?
Greg: See Alan was right, you actually saved me today, doesn't that feel better than moaning about life all the time?
Helpless TA: I... I really dunno, I never get much praise.
Chelsea: (generally confused) Wonder why?
Helpless TA: Oh I'm stumped… let's think. My name for start!
Imogen: Maybe… maybe we were wrong about you… maybe you can change.
Helpless TA: Seriously?
Greg: Well it's a step and thanks for earlier today.
Helpless TA: No problem.
Alan: Glad to see all's going well here.
Melody: For now the spirits tell me trouble is fast approaching.
Sasha: Again, anyone could have told ya that.
Alan: Y-yeah… S-sasha's r-right M-melody you and these spirits…
Melody: Alan, I know everyone thinks I'm mad because of it, but the spirits are always there and that's just the way it is.
Sasha: I still don't get you Melody, I mean y’all got balls and your nice person. But… this “speaking to dead” shit, it just doesn't add up.
Melody: In the world of the supernatural, nothing is logical.
Joey: Well can yew guys help us, try and find a logical way outta here?
Charlie: Yeah we need help, the priest over there and Joey have found a wall we should be able to climb up.
Sasha: Right then, get ready to haul ass.
Melody: I am ready, but first I'm going to take a quick look around.
Priest: (sighs) Melody's always been a little eccentric, claiming she could talk to spirits.
Zsa Zsa: You ever visit her in the US of A?
Priest: The once, about ten years ago just before I settled in this hellhole, shit… her parents seemed fine with her then, she was only 6… my brother and I, we thought she'd grow outta it. But she didn't and I worry about her.
Zsa Zsa: So did you ever speak to your brother, you know…?
Priest: Never saw him again after that visit, God… 10 years… now I'll never get to speak to him, damn those bastards, that the Fawcett's hired.
Zsa Zsa: You must have gotten really lonely, no family… no wife…
Priest: Well I'm as lonely as can be. I guess when I realised I was getting old and no wife of mine was coming, I-I just became a priest… seemed like the only thing left that I could do, without becoming some sort of hermit, like, loser.
Zsa Zsa: Hey… don't be so hard on yourself, I was and still am as desperate as you.
Priest: You've got a kid though.
Zsa Zsa: Yeah a rape child, but I love him. All I've ever wanted Jack to have though, was a dad… he needs a father figure in his life.
Priest: Why's that? Your lad seems fine… well compared to the rest.
Zsa Zsa: He doesn't like opening up to people, he looks and acts like any boy his age, but just beneath the surface, I know he struggles and I've done the best I can for him.
Priest: What? By being an embarrassing burden on the lad?
Zsa Zsa: Very funny… but I had to find some way of getting us money, hell now I have to look after the other three, Danny and Wilhelmina are like the devil's children. Always going off at one another…
Priest: And we all know what that Florence girl is like, can't believe your boy likes her.
Zsa Zsa: I know Florence can be an overbearing pain in the backside. But I think she and my son are meant to be, deep down, she's a good girl and I think… I think her and my Jackie boy are alike.
Priest: What makes you think that?
Zsa Zsa: Notice how she loves the limelight and will tell anyone anything about herself, but when it comes to her family, she just closes up, apparently their in Scotland, but she's very vague on the subject and as a mum I know when kids do that, that means something's up.
Priest: Add all those problems up, with our group now, we won't last 5 minutes.
Zsa Zsa: Always the negative one, aren't you… I was gonna say priest, but I just realised I don't know your first name.
Priest: Just call me Priest, or Father Mita, it's what everyone else calls me.
Zsa Zsa: Okay then Father Mita, as I was saying always so negative… but we live in a negative world right? Both old and lonely, no happily ever after.
Priest: Yeah… both single.
(They begin to edge closer to each other)
Zsa Zsa: Yeah…
(There is a silence, before they look at each other and suddenly they start making out)
Imogen: Well that escalated quickly.
Chantelle: Don't all relationships?
Thomas: Not necessarily the case, take me and Jaya for example.
Chantelle: Yeah, but ya freaks anyway.
Jaya: I have no time to be listening to these petty insults, CHARLIE! Have you found us a way out?
Charlie: On it…
Joey: (lifting Charlie up from the ground) Damn kid you're light… anyhow yew see something up there?
Charlie: Just more wasteland.
Joey: If I give you a boost, can yew reach the top?
Charlie: I think so…
(Joey does this and as he does, Charlie is able to pull himself back up to level ground)
Joey: Alright! Guys Charlie's out! Get ready to move! Climb this wall here and Charlie will grab you when you reach the top!
Charlie: Okay… I can do this…
Joey: Yew, okay about this? I mean, because let's face it, I'm a buff fella and weigh a ton and you're…
Charlie: A tiny 11 year old, I get that a lot.
Joey: I still don't know how you survived that nuclear blast kid.
Charlie: I got lucky, I guess my family didn't. The only thing I managed to do is run to that camp, since then, I've just been with you guys, being useless…
Joey: You're not useless, I mean let's face it yew are small… but I can't see any other people your age around. It's like my dad used to say to me, the one's with the strongest spirits will be the last one's standing.
Charlie: Are you just trying to make me feel better?
Joey: Yeah, now help me up.
(Joey grabs onto to Charlie's hand and Charlie manages to tug Joey to the surface)
Charlie (panting): I-did-it…!
Joey (grinning): Nice un kid… told yew… yew have a fighting spirit, now help me with the rest.
Charlie (proud of himself): Okay… you know you and your cousin, you're awesome.
Joey: Were not… don't idolize us like that, it's not healthy.
Charlie: But I heard you gave your dad's life away, to save the town and your friends
Joey: That means nothing now, town's gone, thousands are dead, and we'll be lucky to survive a day out here.
Charlie: Well were doing good so far, and saving the town wasn't pointless. Those people you saved, they saved us, it goes to show that good exists in everyone, somewhere.
Joey: I know… but listen Charlie, I'm not perfect okay? Before I moved here, I was as arrogant, as hot headed, as law breaking, as yew could possibly imagine.
Charlie: I'm not that innocent either you know. I used to hide my sister's phone for weeks on end sometimes.
(Joey laughs at this)
Charlie: Oh… guess that's kinda pathetic in comparison to what you did hey?
Joey: Yeah… but it's innocence, something I ain't seen a while, don't beat yourself up kid. Trust me, the second yew become a teenager everything goes tits up.
Charlie: My dad used to say that experience could teach you more than school ever could. So I guess you know you're talking about… (Pauses) could you teach me.
Joey: Teach yew what?
Charlie: Stuff that you know… because well, it's cool and it might just give me a better edge to survive this disaster.
Joey (smiling): Alright then kid… lesson one, for the basics, don't upset Mrs Conrad…
Jack: Mum getting it on with the priest, typical, come on then Florence, we gotta go.
Florence: In a minute… I guess our bickering really didn't help matters, did it?
Jack: No, but for the millionth time, I guess I have to apologise.
Florence: Me too, come on… kiss me already, it's our 1001st reunion, let's make it special.
Jack (kisses her): Yeah.
Daz: You two and your bickering got my dog killed!
Jack (alarmed): Alright calm down! Jeez, like Danny said, it was just a dog.
Florence: (Hurriedly) Were awfully sorry and I'm sure Jack and Danny don't mean what they say, were just all highly stung right now.
(Grabs Jack and they scurry off)
Jack (perplexed): Since when did you become the diplomat?
(Just then Aaron pops up behind Florence)
Jack: Oh of course, when the camera turns up.
Florence: I have to be caring heroine, with several different aspects to make me likeable.
Aaron: Well if ya start twerking I'm sure…
(Jack shoots him a burning glare, which quickly shuts Aaron up)
Danny: Well come on everyone, get your arses in gear… OI! Willie! come on already move!
(Wilhelmina is in the corner, when Danny addresses her, she gulps something down and quickly tucks some sort of flask in her ruined clothes)
Danny: What are you doing?
Wilhelmina: Nothing Damien.
Danny: What's that?
Wilhelmina: Thin air.
Danny: No, what was that, you were holding?
Wilhelmina: (eyes downcast) nothing.
Danny: You're lying to me, aren't you? You're getting drunk again? Aren't you?
Wilhelmina: No I…
(At this point Danny grabs her by the wrists and pins her against the wall)
Danny: Show me!
Wilhelmina (enraged): GET OFF, YOU RAPIST!
Charmaine (approaching the scene): Rape, can I join in?
Danny: No! Now listen here Willie…
Zsa Zsa: YOU TWO ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP! LET'S GO!
Danny: (Pointing to Wilhelmina and in a childish voice) She's getting drunk…
Wilhelmina: Am not! Besides even if I was, you can't tell me what to do, you ain't my mutha!
Danny: YES I AM!
(Long pause as Wilhelmina looks back horrified, as Florence begins to hum the Eastenders theme tune, all eyes find Danny)
Danny (in stiches): Jokes… Jesus your faces…
Zsa Zsa: Well guess what you two? I'm your adoptive mother. NOW GET THE FUCK UP THAT WALL, OR SO HELP ME…!
(A startled Wilhelmina and Danny prepare to do so)
Suzanne: Whoa Miss Henshell over there, really just flipped out, still how you doing Daniel?
Daz: M'okay it's just…
Daz: Yeah, I know he was just a dog and I shouldn't be like this, but I had him for such a while, it felt like he always gonna be there.
Suzanne: You'll get through this, you can't let this break you.
Daz: Yeah, at least Lake managed to bite one of the bastards, before he died.
Suzanne: Yeah Lake and Pond humping in heaven now.
Daz: Yep… rest easy boy.
Miss Wellington: Guys, I found a book on the D bunker!
Mrs Layton: Seriously? Has it a got a map!
Miss Wellington: Yeah it's detailed too, here…
(Passes it too her)
Mr Rayne: How ya gonna lead us though? With all this rubble around, there's no telling on where we going.
Mrs Layton: I know my stuff, my husband used to tell me… well (getting teary eyed) let's just say I know what to do with this map. I'll be fine.
Miss Wellington: Okay, I also got an entrance slip to the bunker.
Greg: Entrance slip?
Miss Wellington: The D bunker is a tourist attraction, regularly free passes are given to those who can afford it, the bunker was the first of its kind to be built in the whole of the UK. That's why it's such an area of significance, but to get in… the cost is thousands, these slips are rare hence they kept on in this book, just as a model for what other passes look like, but I've checked this, it's the real deal, under normal circumstances we would not be allowed to take this, if we did we would face jail, but considering the circumstances...
Mrs Layton: It’s ours.
Miss Wellington: I knew it was here, and considered trekking here to get here, but, by luck we crashed here anyhow.
Imogen: Well, that at least, explains why you were so calm when we fell.
Miss Wellington: We'll use it to get ourselves into the bunker and out. We can seal ourselves inside, so no one else can get in especially, those thugs.
Greg: Do you know a lot about the place?
Miss Wellington: Like I said, I used my life savings to visit the place, I know how to get in, first you have to descend a giant staircase, then you have too insert this pass here, into a little slot and pronto the doors slide open for you, to close the doors, you insert the card into the silt on the other side.
Alan: A-and w-what d-do we d-d-do wh-when we ge-get in?
Miss Wellington: The place is huge, with mountains of supplies, stocked up for times of emergency. We should be fine.
Mrs Layton: But if there are other survivors, won't they head there too?
Greg: If there are any other survivors.
Imogen: There's gotta be… do we comply with them?
Mr Rayne: If their friendly, I don't see why not.
Mr Tedious: Well done Margaret, seriously you did a great job finding all that out.
(The two share a heart-warming smile)
Sasha: Right then, that shit is sorted let's get outta this dump…
(Just then, something else falls out of the book a slip of paper Greg picks up)
Imogen: What's that?
Greg: It reads…
Your little play is drawing to a close.
TPM plans to dispose.
Of all of you misfits who waddle along.
Until all that remain, are only that who are strong.
(Just then the Walkie Talkie bursts into life)
Walkie Takie: Read the last lines, Greggie boy, we'll do it together…
Greg (in trembling voice) and the man of the Walkie Talkie:
Gregory Winters consider this a warning to you and your friends of the working class.
You may want to watch your ass.
(Instantly everyone turns around, just as Roger and his thugs, leap out of the darkness)