(March 2nd, in the early hours of the morning, the fallout from the nuke begins to fall on the rubble of Mortdale…)
Greg: Uhh… (Begins to gain conscious)
Distant voice: HELLO! ANYONE STILL ALIVE!?
Greg: Uh… (Is stuck under piles of bricks and a wooden plank, lifting these off him he coughs and calls for help)
Distant Voice: HELLO!
Greg: (weakly): Over here… over here! I'm still alive! But something's pinned on my leg!
Distant Voice: GREG!
Greg: HELLO! HOW DO YOU…!? (As the owner of the voice approaches him, he recognises the voice)… DANIEL! DANIEL! IS THAT YOU!?
Daz: GREG? WHERE AM YA?
Greg: Down here!
(Daz finds him and shoves piles of rubbish off him)
Daz (face pale): You alright?
Greg: Fine, my leg feels funny though.
Daz: Greg, we were nuked! We were fucking nuked! What the fuck!?
Greg: Daniel calm down, I know we were… listen, are you okay? Where's Wez?
Daz: Greg, if me girlfriends can't survive, flying buses, lorries, Mrs Conrad and well just dropping dead for no reason, then do you think Wez has any chance of surviving a nuke?
Greg: I'm sorry Daniel.
Daz: Died in my arms, bled out, she ain't popping up again.
Greg Greg: She was one of my favourites, hang on a sec… where's Suzanne?
Daz: Left just before the nuke went off, going back to her boyfriend, knowing her track record she'll have as much luck as I had with Wez, hell she could be dead, we… (Greg hears barking and Daz's face twists into a smirk) of course, no chance of getting rid of Lake.
(Lake begins to lick Daz's face)
Daz: Easy boy… easy boy… God y'am like a cockroach ay ya? You keep coming back and you're impossible to kill… still come on Greg, time to get up, ya…
(He removes more rubble from Greg's leg and freezes, because a sharp piece of glass is wedged right into Greg's leg, a pool of blood is spreading around it…)
Greg: What is it…? (spots wound) oh… oh crap… shit! This frickin' hurts Daniel!
Daz: (Panicked) Doe move… I'll go get help!
Greg: I was next to Imogen, she should be around here somewhere…
(Just then Mrs Conrad appears out of nowhere with Eric in tow)
Mrs Conrad: I heard Imogen's name.
Daz: HOLY SHIT! WHERE'D YOU COME FROM!?
Mrs Conrad: Mortdale unfortunately, now Greg, where is Imogen?
Greg: I dunno, she was right next to me.
Eric: Oh no honey, she could be under the rubble, she could…
Mrs Conrad: I got this.
(Digs under the rubble and eventually pulls out the small, dazed, form of Imogen)
Eric: IMMIE! My Baby girl, are you alright?
Imogen: … err… dad what happened?
Eric: We got nuked.
Eric: Yeah this is crap.
Daz: How'd you two survive anyway?
Mrs Conrad: Please, I walked into Black Crest and survived, a nuclear bomb is nothing in comparison.
Greg: Erm yeah, when you finished talking and catching up y'know, I COULD USE A FUCKING HAND DOWN HERE!
Daz: Oh right can you help me with him, his got glass impaled into his leg.
Mrs Conrad: I'll help pull it out, Greg don't squirm, this won't hurt.
Greg (sweating): Yeah this will be fine… (Laughs nervously)
Eric: Relax kid, I'm a qualified doctor…
Daz: So what if you am? Have you packed your medical equipment with ya? I think not…
Eric: I did actually, I got tons in the backpack on my back; I knew when we walked out of our wreck of a house, we'd find injured people. It's my duty to help them.
Greg: So you worked at the hospital then? Is that how Kyle caught you?
Eric: Yeah I worked at the hospital, been out of the job since it was wrecked but y'know, I know how to patch up these wounds and I got the equipment, so you just sit tight.
Greg: (nervously) Yeah alright… (Mrs Conrad and Daz clasp their hands on the glass and get ready to pull)
Imogen: Greg don't look at that… (Takes his face in her hands) look at me, okay?
Greg (gazing at her): Yeah look at you… look at you… look at (screams in pain as there is a crunching noise, as the glass is pulled out of his leg, he tries to struggle, but Eric holds him down)
Eric: Stay, still, Greg. I need to patch this up.
Greg (gritting his teeth): Go ahead doc.
(Eric patches the wound as Imogen cradles Greg's head in her arms, as he flinches at the pain)
Imogen: You're gonna be fine, okay.
Greg: Yeah I'll (winces in pain) be okay… (Noticing her face is also bruised and cut) wait a minute, you're hurt to. You need to patched up to.
Imogen: Greg we just survived a nuclear explosion, ya think I'm coming out of that unscathed? None of us are… you have a life, threating, injury, you need the treatment.
Greg (paling): Life threating injury.
Imogen: Well it err... would be if my dad wasn't here, he'll patch it up he always does… it's not like you'll bleed out or anything… (Laughs nervously) yeah… you won't.
Greg: I'll say… but why? Why did someone decide to nuke us?
Imogen: I don't know Greg, just shut up will ya. You need to relax (storks his hair off his sweaty face so it doesn't go into his eyes a tender move that Mrs Conrad notices…)
Mrs Conrad: Well that… (At this point Lake begins to bark at her) SHUT UP YOU FILTHY DOG!
Daz: I think his trying to tell us something.
Mrs Conrad: Like what?
(Just then a hand bursts out of the ground, Imogen screams)
Imogen: THE LIVING DEAD! ZOMBIES! NUCLEAR, MUTATED, FUCKED, UP UGLY LIFE FORMS!
Mrs Conrad: Imogen pipen down, you're being ridiculous.
Imogen: Sorry that scared me for a second, I guess I just lost my head.
Greg: Wait a second, I think that's…
Arrogant voice: Told you guys I'd find us a way out.
(The owner of the voice creates a clearing in the ground and then pokes his head out)
Danny: Look we've conveniently bumped into guys.
(Danny emerges from the hole, as he does the rest of Greg's gang and the chavs do the same)
Mrs Conrad: Nuclear, mutated, fucked, up ugly life forms, you got the last part spot on Imogen.
Chantelle: Nice to see you too miss.
Mrs Conrad: Oh look, the orange ball lives.
Chantelle: FUCKING HELL MISS, HOW RUDE YOU…!
Mrs Conrad: And it talks, oh may the lord have mercy on all our souls.
Wilhelmina: So Damien, we could have spared a few hours, if we followed those other guys… who went… in the basic up direction.
Danny: The whole load could have crashed down on us then! I was being smart and looked for a narrow point, where we could dig our way out and I knew how to locate such a spot and I led us all out of there.
Thomas: Actually Jaya gave you directions and I found where we were supposed to dig up, you just barged to the front and started to boss everyone around (as Danny glares at him) his just trying to show off in front of you guys.
Mrs Conrad: Well so are you, by trying to sound sensible, you think it's working you idiot you sound like a smart arse and no one likes those, honestly you're nearly as bad as Gordon.
Gordon: What the fuck fam, I…
Mrs Conrad (snappish): Shut up!
(Gordon is silent)
Florence: Well, what are we to do now?
Charmaine: Well we are all here, we'll have an orgy then.
Mrs Conrad: No we will not, you Disgusting girl.
Chantelle: Well, Greg and Imogen look ready to start one.
(Everyone turns to where Imogen is still holding Greg, embarrassed the two break apart as Eric helps Greg to his feet)
Eric: Can you stand?
Greg: Hurts a little, but I can manage it.
Imogen: I'll help you along Greg.
Chantelle: In other words, you just wanna get touchy feely with him?
Imogen (blushing): Do not, I…
Joey: Seriously, can we just put all our petty little differences to the side for now?
Greg: Yes thank you Joey, thank you for speaking up.
Helpless TA: May I speak up; I'm chained to this… thing! (Points to Chelsea) In a town flattened by a nuclear bomb, am I allowed some freedom!
Mrs Conrad: No, and suicide is not an option either.
Helpless TA: Godammit
Alan: M-maybe y-y-you sh-should t-try and he-help us, for on-once instead of com-complaining all the time.
Helpless TA: Shut your fucking mouth, you nervous piece of shit! I have every right to complain.
Melody (pissed off): Don't you dare address my boyfriend like that! We have all had it up to here with you constant nagging, moaning and complaining!
Helpless TA: I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO COMPLAIN! IMAGINE BEING CHAINED TO SOMEONE WHO CAN'T MOVE WITHOUT BEING ASKED TWENTY TIMES TO TAKE A SINGLE STEP!
Chelsea: I can take steps actually miss, I've been practising.
Helpless TA: Well done, going to start travelling centimetres soon?
Melody: Do not criticise Chelsea, she is trying hard and If you don't stop this I will be forced to attack you, to teach you a lesson.
Helpless TA: Who told you that… the spirits!?
Sasha (emerging behind Melody): No, I did, so watch your mouth or you gonna wish you were worse than dead.
Helpless TA: (Lifts middle finger to her) talk to finger love, the face ain't listening.
Sasha: Oh hell, to the no!
Helpless TA: Fight me then? But I'm just saying why do I suffer like this? Just let me go!
Greg: Well miss, you haven't done much to convince us to let you go, maybe if you tried helping us the once, we'd think differently.
Helpless TA: Like I would want to help you bunch of misfits.
(Silence as conflict dies down)
Chelsea: Don't I get a say in this?
Helpless TA: Sure, if you can put three sentences together and have your say.
Chelsea: What are sentences?
Helpless TA: Exactly.
Chelsea: Can't breathe!
Helpless TA: (Sighs) Breathe in… Breathe out…
Mrs Conrad: Good slave, knowing her place.
Sasha: Bit harsh to call her a slave.
Thomas: Trust me, there are worse things she can call people.
Aaron: Well shit is going down here…
Gordon: Fam is you recording dis?
Aaron: Yeah fam, found this video camera in the rubble, someone in the pub must have owned it, mine now. All mine, to record this plight I can sell millions with it, make a movie…
(At the mention of these words, Florence is in front of the camera)
Florence: OH RECORD THY DILEMMA, IN FACT... (Rubs Greg’s blood on herself) I AM DEAD! I HAVE BLED OUT AND NOW THY ART DIE IN MY LOVE'S ARMS!
(Faints in Jack's arms)
Jack (irritated): Florence, please get up.
Florence: (Getting up) Play along, were supposed to be recording the survivor's heroic struggle to… survive and live?
Aaron: Yeah that sounds good enough, oh and I also found this walkie talkie, (tosses it at Imogen) useless piece of shit though.
Imogen: Looks broken, (checks it) well it has batteries, let's keep it, you never know it may come in useful. (pockets it)
Eric: So anyhow, who needs medical treatment, come over here I can patch anyone up.
(Just about everybody steps forward, to get patched up)
Joey: Yew alright cou-sen?
Greg: Fine… just… I can't believe it, we've been nuked, but who and why?
Joey: This had to be the chavs, as soon as that rule was announced a nuclear bomb falls, it was an attempt to wipe us out, to destroy all us decent people.
Greg: No, if that was the reason why kill chavs as well? Why wipe out a whole town?
Joey: Think about it, this tape was made in this town, so of course the chavs would aim here, As its source, they could Sacrifice one town to keep all the others the way they want.
Greg: But Joey that nuke landed miles away, it was still enough to destroy buildings and possibly kill us, but why not just aim in the middle of the town? Wipe us all out instantly?You know how much power nukes have. Because of its distance from Mortdale I reckon were not the only town to be destroyed.
Joey: This doesn't make much sense… however, I guess there's no point guessing now, we need to get outta here first.
Greg: Outta here?
Imogen: Good question Greg, where is outta here? All I can see is rubble as far as the eye can see.
Wilhelmina: Wish we had landmarks like the pub, to lead us away from here.
Danny: Aw lost the dear pub have we Willie, no drowning your sorrows like the idiot you are? Then again, you're always an idiot, even when sober.
Wilhelmina: OH MY GOD DANNY! I'VE JUST FOUND A LANDMARK!
Danny: What!? Really where!?
Wilhelmina: YOUR HEAD! It's expanded so much, that if we climb to the top of it, we'll find our bearings!
Danny: Hilarious *Note the sarcasm*
Chelsea (chuckling): I found that funny actually.
Wilhelmina: See? Even the thickest of us, knows that a joke against a prick like you is funny.
Danny: Chelsea probably doesn't even understand the joke, and if you're funny, I can be funny as well, you know I…
Jack: Okay can we all just calm down…
(He pauses mid-sentence, as there is a popping noise and everyone turns to see a green flare being shot into sky)