(Imogen, Melody, Alan, Sasha, Florence, Jack, Thomas, Jaya, Wilhelmina and Danny are waiting on a bench in Mortdale high street)
Imogen: They should be here in a minute.
Florence: Well I wish they would hurry, thy legs are overflowing with lactic acid and I am experiencing a devilish case of pain, they call ache.
Jack: Florence you're hogging the whole bench and sitting down, how in God's name are your legs aching?
Florence: DO NOT USE HIS NAME IN VAIN!
Jack: Whatever, do I look bothered?
Florence: You should be… you are turning into an emotionless monster! Like your brother over there!
Danny: Whoa love, I beg to differ.
Wilhelmina: So do I Damien, so do I, I mean Florence has made a great point.
Danny; Shut it junkie.
Wilhelmina: I was an alcoholic actually, not a junkie there's a difference.
Danny: Bad as each other.
Wilhelmina: Well I've stopped now.
Danny: No you haven't, you were drunk yesterday, slurring your words and all.
Wilhelmina (going red): WAS NOT! I WAS…!
Florence (in a loud voice to outshine Wilhelmina and Danny's argument): JACK! HOW DARE YOU CRITCISE MY LEGS AND GOD! WE ARE BREAKING UP RIGHT NOW!
Imogen: For the 999th time I bet.
Jack: That was actually bang on.
Imogen: Wat? OMG! I got it right (in terrible singing voice): CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES CMON…!
(At this point people are beginning to stare)
Sasha: Well Florence and Jack nearly on break up one thousand. (Turns to where Alan and Melody are holding hands) I hope y'all don't go the same way.
Alan: N-not a ch-chance Sasha… me and Mel- Melody, love each other.
Melody: Correct, oh and Alan, the spirits tell me to move your head.
(He does so just in time, as a brawling Wilhelmina and Danny fly past, swinging fists at each other)
Alan: Y-you two b-break it up!
Sasha: Let em fight Alan, let them get hurt, maybe they'll learn a lesson. No gain without pain, you get me?
Sasha: Still I feel for poor Zsa Zsa, coping with quarrelling couple over here and well… the thief and the alkie that can't stand each other… and bicker worse than the couple… how does that poor women do it?
Thomas: Not even I can guess that.
Jaya: Too right Thomas, seeing how the relationships around us crumbling like bread-sticks, I'm glad our's is much more low key.
Thomas: I agree completely, in fact Jaya… I have a present for you.
Jaya: You do? I cannot wait to see it.
Thomas: Ohhh just you wait, it's something I've kept close to me for a while now and it means so much to me, but now I think it's time I gave it as a gift to you.
Jaya: Well that is very sweet and… oh look Greg and Joey have arrived.
(Everyone ignores her)
Jaya: Oh for… (in loud voice) EVERYBODY SHUT UP JOEY AND GREG HAVE ARRIVED!
(Everyone in the high street is silent)
Greg: Howdy guys! (Street is still silent) erm shall we… you know, go somewhere where…
Thomas: ...everyone isn't staring?
Greg: Yeah, come on…
(They retreat) Florence: THAT'S ALL FOLKS! IF YOU WANT MORE, COME TO MY HOUSE ON…!
Jack (hissing): Florence please shut your gob for once!
Florence: So bossy and overbearing.
Imogen: Does the word hypocrite ring a bell with you?
(The gang reach the street corner)
Greg: Well that was a close one.
Chantelle: I know.
Greg: Yeah you said it… (Pause)
Greg: WAIT A SECOND, CHANTELLE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?
Chantelle: Street corner, is like my zone.
Imogen: Oh yeah, how could we forget?
Chantelle: Shut it midget, or I'll beat you so hard your face will be deformed. Oh, scratch that, it already is.
Imogen: So it's come to catty insults about how I look? How low can you go?
Chelsea: (as she and the rest of the chav gang are with Chantelle): OH! WERE PLAYING LIMBO!?
Helpless TA: I gave up a long time ago with her.
Wilhelmina: Can hardly blame you.
Aaron: Nah Chelsh…we ay playin' limbo.
Imogen: Then what are you doing?
Aaron: Watin' for Chantelle, so we can go to club.
Gordon: Yeh we was like gnna hve a smshin time at da club nd shag some bitches…
Sasha: Your Auntie Jeana allow you to do this?
Gordon: Yeh fam she was like at me knees…
Jaya: Oh dear Gordon, your English has either just gotten beyond disgraceful, or you are so desperate to fit in you have resorted to this.
Gordon: Cunt imma…
Sasha: SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!
(Gordon is silent, just as Auntie Jeana can be heard from the distance)
Auntie Jeana: GAWR-DAN! GAWR-DAN! WHERE AM YA!? YA SAID YOU'D BE AT THE BOOTS LIKE YA SAID!
Charmaine: Hang on, I thought you said she allowed you to go.
Gordon Gordon: I… well…
Sasha: Lied of course… you got tricked Charmaine.
Charmaine: But I am bothered about that though?
Imogen: You will be if Auntie Jeana throws a mango at your head.
Charmaine: I doe even like mango's though, so I don't care.
Wilhelmina: See this is your problem, you don't care enough.
Danny: Bit rich lecturing people on their problems Willie, when you have several of your own.
Wilhelmina: I got 99 problems Danny and they all come back to you in some way. You know I understand why Charmaine has a crush on you now, you both don't care about others.
Danny: No, I'm apparently just big headed and thinks I'm better than anyone else, Charmaine, well she doesn't give a fuck, there is a big difference.
Wilhelmina: Sure thing, but like you said there both as bad as each other.
Jack: (As Danny opens his mouth): Okay shut it bro, I've got a headache and there have been too many arguments today. (Danny shuts his mouth) So Greg, how have you been?
Greg: Alright you know, that tape though… there's still been no news.
Jack: Well something has gotta happen, if it doesn't well then…
Florence: Thomas, are you sure you dropped that tape off?
Chelsea: It was a disc actually.
Helpless TA: Chelsea, you have actually surprised me today.
Chelsea: I am full of surprises.
Helpless TA: (Mocking tone): Really?
Thomas: Anyhow, yes were certain we dropped it off 100%; we have no reason to lie to you guys, plus Jaya can back me up here, can't you?
Jaya: Yes I can.
Thomas: And if you still don't believe me then I have a 101 page report, I wrote to show the physical and mental 100% possibility, we dropped the tape off where it was meant to be.
Charmaine: AH! Alrite we believe ya, just doe make us sit through your reports *shivers at the thought of it*
Imogen: But still, how did the higher crave that message onto the car?
Thomas: Like I keep telling you guys, this must have happened after me and Jaya got out of the car, because nobody went up to our car while we was in it, trust me on that and I have another report to…
Imogen: Okay we get it… I'm still just curious to as why the higher haven't attacked yet.
Greg: Or why the government haven't made any changes, or even announced it on the news.
Joey: Still I ain't come here to dwell on that, let's talk about something else, raise our spirits a little…
(And for the next few hours they manage that, until they are all ready to go home, that is until Wilhelmina spots something by a local pub)