Choir: Two days till Christmas…
(It is the 23rd of December, tomorrow Florence's Christmas lights are going up)
(At Florence's house, the whole gang is helping with the lights)
Zsa Zsa: So Florence, I have always wanted to meet you parents, where are they?
Florence: Thou art parents, are always holidaying in Scotland, but alas I am independent enough to hold my own.
Zsa Zsa: Oh yes, your last name starts with the scottish Mc and with the Kinney at the end. I never knew you had Scottish roots Florence.
Jack (popping up behind her): Yeah neither did I? Ironic seeing how long I've known you, in fact, I've never ever seen your parents.
Florence: They pretend I don't exi… I mean they admire me, they send me letters from Scotland, all the time praising me.
Imogen: Right, course they do.
Florence: They do! They sent me a present, a few days back actually. A fine piece of jewellery.
Zsa Zsa: Diamonds are a girl's best friend, Imogen.
Imogen: Can I see this "Jewellery" then?
Florence: (Jumpy) It's... It's... I left it in my house.
Imogen: Well as lovely as that chat was, Florence. Can you help me with this set of lights, there effin heavy!
George: How big does this have to be! It's already covering half the street!
Florence: (Snarling): And Miss Danica's is covering 3 quarters of the street, WE MUST WORK HARDER PEOPLE! CHOP CHOP!
(Everyone groans, they have all been slaving away)
Miss Danica: Aww, we struggling over there Florence?
Florence: No, of course not! How are you doing anyway!?
Miss Danica: Flawless, as always.
Miss Danica's son: Were gonna get this done (him and his army of followers’ workers and friends are also working away on the lights)
Zsa Zsa: I will admit, her son is one downright sexy stud.
Jack: Jesus Christ.
Mrs Conrad: Ugh, hate that bitch, stealing all of my attention in school. I can't wait to beat her at her own game.
Imogen: Hang on, stealing all your attention at school? That sounds familiar?
Mrs Conrad: Oh yes, all the boys wanted her because she was so pretty (smashes rock on the floor in anger) we can see, she lost her looks of course, but she is still an uptight little…
Imogen: She said she was "Flawless" (It clicks in her mind, and she gasps upon seeing the name on Miss Danica's doormat): SUE!
Mrs Conrad: I beg your pardon?
Imogen: Sue! Mum! Sue! As in Mary-Sue! You know? Little miss perfect in our school, a little while back before she went Kyle level psycho.
Mrs Conrad: Wait Miss Danica was…
Imogen: Miss Danica-Sue, her mother and that must be her older brother!
Mrs Conrad: I knew I recognised the Sue Surname somewhere! Damn Mary and her beauty for distracting my murderous intent, in regard to that family!
Danica-Sue: Finally figured it out, have you! All to self- absorbed in your own dramas to notice my daughter, Mary was your next door neighbour!?
(She Glares at Florence who is too preoccupied, admiring herself in her handheld mirror)
Danica Sue: Well me and my son Ricky here, are going to extract revenge for my late daughter, by beating you Mrs Conrad, once and for all!
Mrs Conrad: Oh Danica honey, you were always a self-absorbed cow and now it will be in my every waking thought to destroy you and break you by beating you.
Ricky-Sue: It's always been the Sue's facing the Aldington's.
Danica-Sue: And a Sue always succeeds! A Sue always wins!
Imogen: Go and "Sue" yourself! COME ON GUYS LET'S FINISH THIS!
(They all get to work)
(Meanwhile, In the jail cell where Greg and Wilhelmina are stuck)
Greg… this is all my fault.
Wilhelmina: Well done, you've said that a billion times now. Whaddya want? A medal, or a degree in common sense?
Greg: I Just want you to know, what sort of scum I've become, because of my thirst for revenge, I've put everyone’s lives at danger. It's all my fault…
Wilhelmina: Damn straight it is, now there's no alcohol in here and I…
Greg (irritated): You know what? You're in the shit too! Just sober up and face the world already! I've been listening to your whining for days now!
Wilhelmina: I've listened to yourself self- pitiful rants, for days now and it's annoying me too!
Greg (slumping in defeat): It's all over then, maybe Frank was right. I do deserve to be here, behind bars. I'm a wannabe murderer with a mental problem against fire and you're just…
Wilhelmina: A fucking, thick, chick, who is an alcoholic. Yep been there, been told that.
Greg: (Slumping to the floor) I give up… were pathetic. (Begins to get teary eyed) I'm Pathetic.
Voice: Damn straight you are.
(They both jump)
Greg: Is that…?
(From next cell): Yep it's me Hillbilly, Steve.
Greg: Why didn't you speak before?
Steve: I've been told to ignore the voices in my head for as long as I can manage. Unfortunately for me, the latest two voices are real.
Greg: I suppose everyone thinks you're insane too.
Steve: I woe even deny it. I don't care anymore, having to listen to Frank Tibet in the cell next to me, boasting of his kills and achievements. I just wanna kill him. Damn what happens to me, as long as his gone.
Greg: Me and you both.
Steve: But lemme give ya a word of advice Hillbilly, when I lost my friends back at St. Amanda's all those years ago. When I lost Riley, who was my best mate. I began to lose it all, just like you wanted to kill them chavs more than anything else.
(Sighs and carries on)
Steve: But eventually, I became one of them and just wanted to take my anger out on anyone chav or non-chav. I became the monster I wanted to destroy.
Wilhelmina: Really... deep stuff Steve…
Steve: Never stoop to that level kid, it's not worth it. I tried to kill ya once and I know you didn't deserve it, but when I saw a way out, I just took it.I couldn't kill the chavs, I couldn't do anything, the only thing I wanted, the only thing I needed, was to leave this town. Screw Morales.
Greg: So you're saying…?
Steve: It gets to everyone in the end, you either beat Mortdale and it's system, or you lose everything. You think your fear of fire is bad? That's just the tip of the iceberg, soon you lose your sanity, any logical thought and...
Greg: (saying it as Steve does) and in the end you lose your morality.
Steve: And become a Mortality to society.
Wilhelmina: Mortdale- Mortality. The town's name makes sense now. I can see the logic in that.
Steve: Right you are, understand me now?
Steve: Right then, enough of this chit chat, now you're here let's plan to get out.
Greg: Thanks again though Steve, never thought a taxi driver had it in him.
Steve: You'd be surprised how different and deep people are just by talking to them.
Greg: I appreciate your advice, but there is no way outta here.
Steve: Use your brains, you to Willie whatever it is. For fuck's sake, don't give up there has to be a way out. Doe you wanna stop Frank? Don't you want beat Mortdale's system for good!?
Greg: But there is no way, it's hopeless.
Wilhelmina (finally using her brain, she remembers): Greg that's it! (Puts hand into her pocket and pulls out Gordon's white "drug") Danny gave us this!
Greg: So what? It's useless, no wonder Danny ditched us.
Wilhelmina: Remember what Danny said? It gives you the exact polar opposite to your current personality!
Wilhelmina: I don't have a clue how this works logically, but fuck logic. You're depressed and helpless now, so if we give you a bit of this… (makes Greg snort the drug his eyes glaze over and he blinks and grins)
Wilhelmina: You become…
Greg: I'm positive and hopeful! Here we'll use this nail! (Points to a tiny one on the floor) We can dig to Steve's cell, and get him outta there, then together we'll find a way out! and stop Frank.
Steve: Brilliant plan! Great going guys!
Greg: But it may take a while, about a day, and no doubt Frank Tibet will be aiming for victims at Mortdale's biggest event, that is Florence and Miss Danica's, light-show, all my friends will be there and it occurs tomorrow, so It's a race against time.
Wilhelmina: What are you waiting for then! Let's get digging!
(The next day the 24th of December, today Florence’s lights go up at 10:00PM, at night. In the morning, Wilhelmina and Greg have been digging frantically and have finally reached Steve's cell)
Steve: About time.
Greg (drug wearing off): Yeah well excuse us.
Wilhelmina: Don't mind him, well holy crap they chained you up. How do we get you out of these things?
Steve: Gold keys, there on that shelf love.
Greg: Eww, they force feed you in here, how do you go to the toilet?
Steve: Let's just say tubes stick up…
Greg: Yeah I'm sorry, I got you like this. You're not that bad.
Steve: I am, I know it… only reason I want to come out, is too kill Frank Tibet and save you the guilt of doing it, then I'll return here, or maybe I'll escape with Helpless TA, she was nice enough.
Greg: Yeah she's suffering pretty bad right now and she hasn't done anything evil-like in a while.
Steve: Yeah maybe…
(Chains are undone as soon as they are, Steve comes loose)
Steve: Feels so good to be able to move again!
Wilhelmina: Well we can move, how do we get out?
Steve: You know what they used to call me, love? The Chav Deflector, and they did so for a very good reason, haven't you seen the guns on me?
Greg: Yeah, you're a big fella, but how is that gonna help us.
Steve: Shut it, and watch this Hillibilly, they chained me up for a reason, I stopped a roller coaster with my bare hands, and they chained me up so I wouldn't be able to do, what I'm about to do...
(Steve cracks his knuckles, and lands a punch on the prison wall, for a second there is nothing. Then a smashing noise as the wall crumbles, leaving a 6 foot hole to freedom, where weak sunlight shines through).
Steve: Freedom! It smells pretty fine!
Wilhelmina: I was gonna question the logic, of how you still that much brute strength after being held in chains without moving for a month but y'aknow fuck logic right?
Steve: Damn straight girl, now let's get to this light show.
Greg: It's quite a distance from here.
Steve: Then let's hurry the fuck up!
(They leave the prison and set off).