(Jaya is alone and has just finished her shopping, she is passing Boots when she spots a familiar face)
(Gordon jumps, clearly petrified)
Gordon: Ermm… Jaya hi…
Jaya: Gordon, what consumer products are you purchasing?
Gordon: (hiding white bag behind him): N-nothing, just strolling around.
Jaya: Without your usual assortment of friends?
Gordon: Nah fam… like, we gonna round mine later… getting high off that drug y'aknow?
Jaya: gfrynmjuhskfuhdmnkghfunmfhbvnmfvhmuirjeuyhtjrfyudhjf? The drug I looked up last night, proven not to exist?
Gordon: Yeah dat one. Hang on a minute blad! why da fuck, you say?
Jaya: I said It doesn't exist, you're making it up.
Gordon: I'm fucking not, I'll rape da fuck outta you, ya cunt for saying dat! Yeah…. i… I'll BANG YOU OUT! I'll…
Jaya: Any other threats you can think off?
Gordon: Yeah I'm gonna… do things…
Jaya: That drug is fake, please just admit it.
Gordon: IT AY FAKE! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT!?
(Jaya glares at him)
Gordon: (breaking down and sobbing very loudly): IT'S NOT FAKE! LEAVE ME ALONE!
(Runs from Boots in tears and retreats home, leaving several passer's by to snigger at him)
Jaya (thinking): Looks like me and Gordon share a preference, to emit our true feelings in outbursts. I don't where he thinks his going with this…
(Meanwhile in Gordon's house)
Gordon: Okay parents are out as always good… let's do this.
(He checks inside his white bag, for all the pills and medicines he bought from Boots he grabs three paracetamol's and crushes the pills in his fingers, he adds the mix to a pan of boiling hot water, he mixes this with a wooden spoon and is left with a white solution)
Gordon: Aw, not enough, ha I know!
(In desperation, he drops every single pill and calpol he bought into the mix, the calpols with their different colours turn the water black but the solid pills, stick out above the watery surface…)
Gordon: Err… too much pills…
(Uses his wooden spoon, to crush these pills, some of these are aspirins and laxatives. Once they are a powdery stump, he tries to mix them in the black water, only to end up with black lumpy water).
Gordon: Oh God help me! This still isn't white and powdery enough! Ha I know what will fix this!
(In an increasing panic, he grabs an entire bag of flour and pours into the mix)
Gordon: (Coughing): To white, to light… to flowery. Ahh, this needs a pinch of salt.
maybe a bit of sugar
and now mix it.
(this he does)
(turns out there is far too much white powder in the mix)
I know to get rid of this, I’ll just need more water! Yes!
(Grabs a bigger pan and pours the mixture into that, but then he frowns)
Gordon: Hmm, this water could be poisonous now. I DON'T WANNA KILL MY FRIENDS! Think Gordon think! Ha, I know I'll purify the water!
(In plain stupidity, he adds an entire bottle of bleach to the mix)
Gordon: Oh fiddlesticks! now the water's green! I know, I’ll add some water purification tablets and soap…
(This he does)
Gordon: A little clearer, but this water's still too hot, it needs Ice…
(He grabs ice blocks from his freezer and chucks them in, he mixes this together)
Gordon: Too runny… and not solid enough, I know it needs solids in it…
(Looks around in a rush and chucks the first solid things into the mix he can find which turns out to be, broken shards of glass, when In his panic he turns and knocks over a mirror, as it shatters on the floor he scoops up the shards and throws them into the mix)
Gordon: There we go… (Mixes this then he realises the shards have cut his hands)
(Screaming in pain, he goes upstairs, some of his blood drops are in the mix too, he returns downstairs after a little while, hands bandaged and still whimpering in pain, by this point the mixture has cooled…)
Gordon (trembling): You need to be strong Gordon and finish this, right… oh dear… this is still a little runny and full of glass shards, let's just add some soft food, in there to cover that…
(Throws in fairy cakes and strawberries and mixes it...)
right it needs some final touches…
(Goes outside and picks up some used cigars from the floor, he adds the tobacco to the mix along with small sprinkling of magic mushrooms he found on the streets of Mortdale and finds some white dye to the mix, after mixing for about 5 minutes, he is left with a pan full of white powder…)
(Begins rolling paper into straws, when the door is burst open by Aaron and Ryan)
Gordon: AH! I mean what's up blud?
Ryan: You door weren't locked Gordon.
Gordon: Yeah you know me, no one fucking messes, so I leave my door open all the time it's like I dare people to try and rob me house.
(This is a massive fib, as it's usually bolted shut, the only reason Gordon left it open today was because he was too preoccupied with his “drug”)
Aaron: Anyhow, I see you actually got this drug ready.
Gordon: Yeah, I usually get high of this all day and all night y'aknow?
Ryan: What's with this giant pan in the middle of the room?
Gordon: Oh, nothing fam! (Shoves it out the way) anyhow you've seen the drug, so do you believe me now? (they nod) then good now fucking leave…
Aaron: Fuck that, we came to fucking high blad.
Gordon (in serious concern for his friends, because he knows what is really is in the "drug"): Nah mate you've seen it, only I can handle it y'aknow it's really strong…
Ryan (already snorting it): Brill, the stronger the fucking better.
Gordon: (Panicking): NO! STOP THAT!
Aaron: (snorting it also): Oh chill out blad, or lemme guess you're high already!?
Gordon: What… oh yeah, but doe take too much or…
Ryan: What’s this drug called again?
Gordon: Err... gfrynmjuhskfuhdmnkghfunmfhbvnmfvhmuirjeuyhtjrfyudhjf,
Aaron: Well this is alright I…
(They both pause, their eyes become glazed over… Gordon panics)
Gordon: GUYS BREATHE! ARE YOU OKAY? PLEASE SAY YOU’RE OKAY! OH GOD THIS IS ALL MY FAULT…
Aaron: (in girly southern voice): Now don't y'all go blaming yourself honey bee.
(Gordon is gawping)
Ryan (also in girly southern voice): Aww look at the poor little laddie, he’s gone loopy… now, now, sonny Jim. We’ll get y'all some candy…
Aaron: Oh yes we will (pulls at Gordon's cheek) me and Auntie Why, Why, will get you candy cane's!
Ryan: Pink Candy Cane's Lady Ari!
Aaron: Ooooooh yes, you’ll look so cute when you have that y'all little mouth!
Gordon: (Astounded): Are you fucking high?
(Aaron and Ryan gasp)
Aaron: Aw. Language! Honestly Aunt Why Why, never seen any-i-thing like it.
Ryan: Shameful! Are we high? No way in the name of Jesus Christ are we high!
Aaron: Let's go find company elsewhere Auntie Why, Why…
Ryan: Oh yes Lady Ari…
(They skip out the house hand in hand)
Gordon: (Thinking): There are simply no words.
(He is correct)
Gordon: (Looking back to drug): Well I guess this works, made them higher than a flipping kite, higher than an effing satellite. Gave them the complete opposite personality to what they are.
(Suddenly looks at drug in understanding)
Gordon: This… this could be a revolutionary drug! Imagine Mrs Conrad on it Gordon… or Frank Tibet! Maybe I could try it…
(He moves closer to it)
Gordon: Now, now, Gordon think sensible like Imogen does, you know what's in this stuff and how long does it last? Maybe you should… oh fuck it… it will make me braver…
(He snorts his "drug" and waits for the effect and by magic his eyes glaze over when he blinks he has changed)
Gordon (epic and in deep resounding voice): Aaron, Ryan get back here, you motherfuckers Imma bang you out!
(Stomps off after them, the house is empty but the door is still open. Gordon was completely unaware that the boy has been watching him through the window the whole time, with the house deserted and the door open, the boy sneaks in and grabs the white powder and shoves it into his pocket he then stealthily creeps out…)
Danny (thinking): So this “drug” can change your personality completely hey… interesting. This should help...