I'm walking along this road, on a cold, dark, seemingly evil winter night. My dark hair, skin and clothing make me invisable. A car drives past, seemingly unaware of the black silouette standing in the dark mist. The car carries on out of sight, and I'm still invisable. So as I walk, I think. I think to Myself about the meaning of life, a mysterious and controversial (Not to mention extremely cliche) issue. And this is my conclusion.
So, maybe God exists. He could be looking at me right now. I think about God all the time. I used to think about him especially when I had my doubts about whether he existed. But now I know I must beleive in Him, because I prayed to him, crying to him because I was scared I'd lost him, scared I didn't beleive. So I'm a Christian for sure.
But I can't help but think, what if he doesn't exist? Then what comes after death?
Nothing. Non-existence. A bleak Darkness of No thinking, Nothing, I would not be. And Life on earth would carry on without me knowing, because 'me' would be a mere memory.
But Heaven? Another controversial issue. A place of greatness and paradise. Perhaps the Biblical Garden of Eden. And Hell, the other end of the scale, what I think of as a never ending pit of horror and pain and sorrow, of Darkness and Illness and Desperation and Starvation.
And God, what is he? Is he Lord? Why should he Love us, after all we've done to him? Killing his son, turning away from his Spirit. So many of us can't comprehend that we just can't understand him. He is something too great and too mighty.
So why don't we all just kill ourselves? Commit suicide? Find out what's after death? Non-existence? Heaven? Some other fate? I'll tell you why. We're afraid. We're afraid to kill ourselves, to loose everything we've ever known. Maybe for something better, but it could justas easily be for somethng worse. We are in this Life until we're forced out of it. We are in this Life, to learn about this Life. We must Love, lose, cherish and Die. And that is what is in my opinion, the truth.