So you've finally found your amazing boyfriend and everything is going great but then he wants to do 'it'. Ah. What to do? You have to really consider whether or not you are actually ready. I know people say this all the time but there are some things you should think about to come to this conclusion.
- Is it what I want?
- Do I know the risks?
- Is he worth it?
Now I know these seem vague but here are the expanations (!) :
Do you want this? If you're saying no then great! You know you're own mind and that's very good! If you think yes then that's also good but be careful that what you want is s*x with this person rather than just the experience. If you don't know then think about whether or not you will regret it later. How long have you been going out? If its only a few months then you probably don't know him as well as you think and so you might want to wait until you've been going out for longer. Also consider whether or not your body is physically ready. Obviously you won't be planning on getting pregnant but this isn't what I mean! For girls, your first time may be painful due to the hymen which rips when you have your first time. This is why there is sometimes a little bleeding. But this is not the case with everyone as it can rip during sport or m*sterbation. If you want to avoid pain then you will have to avoid your first time but that is totally fine. If you're totally scared then you may want to wait.
Do you know the risks? STDs and pregnancy are the main risks of s*x and you must make sure you know the full extent of these before. You want to make sure you are protected from both. To avoid pregancy you could simply not have 'proper' s*x but have oral s*x or 'mutual m*sterbation' (whatever you can do to yourself, he can do to you too!). But there are risks in this too. Oral can spread STDs as well and so using protection is important here too. Research different forms of contraception to find which is suitable for you.
Is he worth it? If you think he is, consider this: if you refused him, would he stay with you? Some guys are d*cks, lets face it, but you aren't going to find your handsome prince first time around. If he is only with you for the s*xual relationship, ditch him! He is not worth it! Also consider, if you were to develop and STD or pregnancy, would he support you through that? It is very important to consider 'if'.
So you've decided to do it or not. What now? Hopefully he will support your decision but, if not, then get over him because you deserve so much better! Besides, you can still have s*xual experiences with him just not go all the way. If you choose to do it, plan it. Buy the protection and plan when and where you will do it so you won't be disturbed. If your parents are in on it (unlikely but possible) ask them to leave you alone etc. Don't rush it. You can only ever have one first time so try to make it special. Maybe plan a romantic date before or light candles in the bedroom! But bear in mind the fire hazard!
Don't expect it to be like a romantic film! S*x is messy and not always very graceful! Be ready for a not-very-perfect time. The human body has a habit of making funny noises and you can't move around as though you're dancing gracefully! You're body is completely on show (in theory..) and so try to feel comfortable with it! Relax and it shouldn't go wrong! Hopefully it will be great because you'll be with the one you love.
If you're on the other end and you want s*x but he isn't ready, don't push him. Be understanding and wait for him. It's how you would want to be treated, right?
Hope this has been helpful!