Cookies make me crazy-stupid. And clumsy. Can you get drunk off of sugar?
Because my life is too odd to be believed, and because I tend to remember big [I never lie], I have here included several scenarios in the spirit of a belated Valentine's. It's up to you to determine the veracity/fraudulence of each.
On my first trip to our state capital, he locked the keys to his mother's car in the underground garage of a planetarium. The cell phone was on the dashboard.
On the night of our first date, his car started steaming and bucking four miles out from his house. My parents' first impression was of a boy at a gas station, in a vampire costume and looking extremely embarassed.
He handed me a snowman paper-wrapped package. The package leaked down the side of my shirt and across the desk until a friend pressured me into opening it. Inside were pink roses, slighty squished, and a love note, slighty damp.
I asked to work with him on an English assignment in class. Attempting to impress him, I used the words "versimilitude" and "juxtapositioned" in one sentence. I ended up making more of an impression on my English teacher than on him.
I decided I liked him when he read the part of Rev. John Hale of the Crucible in a deep voice.
I decided I liked him when he remembered to return my pen.
It was four months after our first date before we held hands. Another month and half before he bumped my face with his nose.
He discovered how to fold origami bunnies. I received thirty-something bunnies within a month, had to build a corral to hold them all and eventually had to ask him to stop.
I discovered how to fold origami bats. Stringing them from thread, I poked them into his locker where they would swing out upon the opening of the door. The bats were pink with smiley faces drawn on in pen, though, so it couldn't have been that traumatizing.
On reviewing the practice of kissing, we agreed on two things:
- He has better aim with his glasses on
- Lips are squishy
Philisophical Insight X:
Good chocolate melts in your heart, not in your hands.