# The [Fraudulent!] Autobiography

LIES!! All LIES!!
Enjoy.

Confession I:

Sometimes I get distracted by peanut butter.

Philisophical Insight I:

Toast is a miracle. That is, to the guy who invented the toaster. Imagine that, an indespensible kitchen appliance exclusively for burning bread in a highly specific way! Brilliant, that.

5:21 am

My eyebrows feel funny. I didn't know eyebrows could feel.

6:14 am

I wonder if cold fishsticks are a suitable form of breakfast. Good thing I had pizza, instead. Wouldn't want to risk it.

12:02 pm

I believe I have a problem. Or, at least, a potential problem. I mean, the universe as we know it spontaneously folding in upon itself in a hellish inferno of math would be a problem, yes? Perhaps I should explain: I read a book, once. Actually, I've read more than one book, and this particular book more than once, as well. Sorry. Uhm. It's about the math theory in it. Okay. Not theory.

Let me try this again.

Take the number 13,568. Okay? Now, add all of the digits together. You get 23. Now add 2 and 3. That's 5. Okay? Now, try it again my way:

1 + 3 + 5 + 6 + 8 = (6 + 3) + (8 + 1) + 5

= 9 + 9 + 5

= 5

See what I did, there? The nines didn't count for anything! Check my math, go on. Dare you. Try adding together the digits of 9,999,993 until you reach one digit. The digit will be three.

So. Here's my problem. If 9 = 0..... now what?

Can you get in trouble for breaking math?

4:42 pm

Spent the afternoon conversing with a small, green leaf. I don't think it appreciated my company.

Confession II:

My boyfriend has the name of a paper company. Isn't that the most amazling thing you've ever heard?!

Philisophical Insight II:

People don't want answers. Especially physicists.

The End